broken

im glad i looged on to this site and found great helpers like u emmorey and mermayd43....the feeling of less confidence goes on no matter how i try...but i certainly have starte thinking over the points u 2 just raised.... may b im being too pessimistic but really..i havent done much in my life to make myself and my parents proud.. and i hope i get the brains and the approach to life as u too have ... thanks a lot... broken

whenever i hear someone of my age or from my friends' group that they got a position in class, i get jealous...and now some of my friends are even getting married...i feel jealous...today one of my friends told me that her wedding preparations were going great...i felt jealous...then i heard that one of my other friends had a baby boy...i felt sad and jealous... Is this because i don have any of those happiness or is my personality so cruel...i get confused sometimes...whether i shud pray or not..if i pray God will think that as it is i am sinful so y i am i praying for something good to happen...and if i dont pray then may b God will think im being too pessimistic.... No i don have anything happy going on rite now in my life...but sometimes i think this is justified...after everything that ive done...i don deserve any happiness...just a sad and a horrible looking face and personality

i was just wondering what all i have done in the past that helped some1...nothing. i havent done anything that can be beneficial to any creature on this planet. and more than that i have no qualities...i cant help it but i cud not find even a single quality...i have dark circles under my eyes...have a tomato like nose, faced failure in my final exams , get jealous easily, am not intelligent, am not creative, WHY WAS I CREATED??????? may b i was sent so that all the ppl cud learn a lesson...that never ever b like me. and when i die...ill have nothing at all that wud take me to heaven...why was i created?