Ren

im having a bigish problem, theres this guy at my college who likes me, but i dont like him,but he thinks i do cuz of my annoying girlfriends who tease him about me.so wen he see's me avoiding him he thinks im playing hard to get, wen im really not1but to make matters worse he moved into my campus halls, in my same block, living in the same flat as a goodfriend of mine. so now wen i go and c my friend he thinks im seeing him. i did make the effort twice to get to know him, but he's not for me, he's into all the things i oppose! but just as a friend thats fine, weve chilled, have the same tastes in sum music''s and films, but thats it. and though icant help it he makes me feel dirty even though we dont do anything.he also out of know where started to ask really forward questions, sum how he thinks that i like him and that i wanna sleep with him, im sorry but after one conversation when we dont even know eachother how cud he be so nasty, im not that kind of woman and i deff dont look or act like that! so i suppose thats why i feel dirty, i did tell him if anything was gonna happen then it wud, but if it hasnt then it WONT! but then teasingly he still makes suggestions.theres no need for me to fly off the handle, but its like he's everywhere stopping me from finding my mr right, and i feel beeing around him is like some omen saying THATS ALL YOUR WORTH SO JUST HAVE HIM! i wanna just get on with my life, but damn i cringe wen i think of the time i spent trying to get to know him as a person, which has now made me feel ugly, will mr right ever come along?!

im really embaressed and scared at the same time about this situation. ok i met this really great guy, and i mean great, he's got a warm, loving and helpful personality which is obvious of his job and my problem. he happens to be a receptionist at my college, and yep i like him. i deff no that he finds me attractive, as we've got glass everywhere in the reception area and i can see him sizing me up and grinning(and i suppose when i talk to him i do flirt) but theres probably no chance of us hookin up coz he's a member of staff, and he might be married, or be to old?!he looks about 22-25ish. so should i just shake off these feelings and forget, or ould this be something to persue?and yeah i know there are thousands of gorg girls he see's all day, so what makes me so different right?well i can feel it and i know he gets the same vibe as me. i really wanna get to know him more, but im starting to get more shy, and its not for somthing serious, i wud just like to hang out with him or go for a drink, but due to the circumstances i cant be like mr receptionisnt guy fancy a drink even though you cud be married or with a long term partner and find me an absolute joke? so can anyone help me unscramble my head, and suggest what i should do?

hi all, ok im going to uni next week 22nd and im REALLY SCARED, because of 2 REASONS. 1)i didnt get a hall within the uni campus, and because of there crappy system they had me wating till last wednesday as i was put on a waiting list. so becuase of that i had to look for private rented accommodation and found a flat but the rent was ssssooooo exspensive £135per week, and my mum is now a widow so thats alot for her to manage, so i dropped out and told the estate agents that i wud commute (and the only reason why my mum reluctantly agreed to paying was becoz of the distance to my uni apprx 8mins!,but the area Hackney is a crazy place for a young woman of 18) of which will mean me waking up at 6 in the morining to get to my uni for 9.30am on the dot, plus the traveling time in total takes around 2hours and thats making sure there arnt any delays.......god it gets annoyin and the 2)im worried that by commuting i will miss out massively on the "student experince", and this bothers me ALOT as i am a peoples person. cud anyone tell me what im gonna expect, possible people who had/have commuted to uni for periods of an hour back and forth? im really worrried about this whole thing, i mean will freashers week be any good?or is this my dead end, will i be spending the next 10months in hell, and also is it easier to commute or rent with ohter students, much NEEDED ADVICE, thanks

im not sure what i do, but whenever i go out, i always get stared at, i get really bad evil looks from some girls, and i dont even know them. i dont walk around with a nasty look on my face, usually im just thinking hard, but for some reason women just glare at me, like im some foreighn pice of s###? i dont understand, like two days ago i went shopping and this white woman practically followed me round the shop with her stare, it puts my little sister of sometimes, becuase she notices and tells me?i dont have anything sticking outta my head, or walk around with spit on my face? so whats up with them, or is just me being paranoid, i mean i doubt it, if my lil sister whos 14 notices too?

omg thank you so much, if you didnt reply or anyone for that matter i wud of gone crazy. my mum is still ignoring me tho, and weve got other things that need sorting out i dunno why she acts like a child. but yeah your right its hard, but only if i allow them. thank you so much, Renx

Hi, okay i had a big loud argument with my mum this afternoon, but this is like one of thousands ive had with her in the last 11 years. Ive been through alot, too much to talk about, so naturally i should have underdstanding parents, even my mum. but NO the woman just doesnt get me. Its not rebellion or teenage mood swings, becuase i was never allowed to have them, as my chuildhood was spent looking after my bro and sis from the age of 8. But anyway gettin to the point, me and my mum were really close when i was young, and tho i love my mum to death(maternally) we dont have a proper relationship. emotionally she is very selfish, and tho she says she's grateful for all that ive done to the fam, she still repaetedly abuses me verbally saying stuff like: "your the reason me and your father's marriage is broken" "you make me sick" "your lazy" which i find stupid becuase for the last 11 years ive been there washing, cooking, cleaning, becoming a second mother to HER KIDS! The list goes on, but i am a senstive person, but somehow i just come up with certain strengths. But today marked a day, i mean i can see it know, me and my mum dont get along anymore. i think it was becuase i wrote this diary when i was 11 which basically poured out all my emotions as child because at the time my mum and dad were constantly bickering and putting me in the middle, it was like "ren go and listin to what your father is saying,(and i did it thinking that they loved me)" and from my dad it was like "so whats your mother been up to" that was happening for a long time until i was 13. and they would both go on at me about bills and there mental pain, and loading that all onto a 8 year old child up until 13 is very difficult. so anyway the diary exsoped alot of my anger toward my mum, i suspected she had an affair after what i saw when i was young,blah blah, anyway she found it, ignored me for a month and told my dad. who at first was angry that i was writting about boys and sex( i only said sexy) then angreeing with me for talking about her attitude. he then kept it, out postit notes in it, and from time to time would refer to bits in it. my mum however ripped bits out of it, which made me and my dad susupicious because it was the detailed bit about her affair. but i remember saying the bitch is back and how i wanted to cut her head with a chain saw. so i got blamed for it, but they didnt understand how humilited i was, you dont take you childs diary, by me writting one, should be a signal that there was a lack of communication, but the blew it way out of proportion! so i think our relationship has just disappeared, my mum is hanginf on to the old Ren, the Ren that was a godd little girl that was housewife and parent counsillor, she refuses to ask herself why, and assume i ruined her life! so i automatically became closer to my dad when the diary thing happned, it was still kinda like the relationship i had with him before, but as i grew and he got older i bonded with him so much, and finally i had a parent that understood a part of me that i needed to be understood. i mean our relationship made my mum really angry, coz she felt as if i was siding with my dad, but i was bonding. and just when i thought things were going my way, he feel ill, and died 7 months ago. and so the only parent ive got left is the one that i try to talk to that wobnt listen, and continue to hurt me! its always gotta be about her problems, like she's the only one thats suffering!! what the hell am i going to do now, she even said that i should move out seing as ive turned 18, and live on my own. she constantly bit#@** at me in the home,now weve had the argument, and it makes me oh so uncomfortable. ive been under a lot of pressure, just fin exams, gettin results in august, not sure if im goin to uni, mite of messed up in exam s anyway because of my loss?who knows? can someone, anyone help, what am i doing wrong?

first of, let me tell you that regardelss of what anyone will say to you on this planet you aint no b****. Unless you say you are then you are but if not which im guessin then your NOT! Im not sure of the situation and detail and all, but if he was your best guy friend, then he wouldnt want to jepordize your friendship by going behind your back and calling you a b**** and feelin your girlfriends! He should of told you why he didnt want to be with you no more, and explain why he said he wanted to be with you then switch it?! if you still have a close friendship then ask him straight up why he said what he said, you have a right to know. You shouldnt allow yourself to be put in such situations. however if thats difficult, then get a mutual friend to ask him, let the friend explain to your ex why your going through him. i know what your going through, i had a bad breaking up with one of my ex's and i couldnt bare to see him evey single long ass day. what made it worse was that he went out with this girl who was quite popular to make me jelous on PURPOSE a week after!?so i had that to deal with, but girl let me tell you something, it took alot for me to just ignore him and get on, as time went on(we were in secondary school) he noticed that i was laughing and smiling, and getting on with my life, and that hurt him.coz 3 years later we were at a club and he was drunk and told me why he did what he did. i did take a while but he told me, but i didnt ask. he said i should of coz he was rto scared to tell me, so girl you do the same, either way you come out knowing what went wrong, and you will move on, just let time take its place in this situation, and use this a lesson! take care Ren x

hey, i think i can explain, but your gonna have to elaborate for me, like why you think this?did you run into a 'hot girl' that acted like an idiot, was it her friends maybe?. Thats a pretty harsh statement to make........damn i could even say the same thing!lol wb

hey, to all the kind people that replied to my post thank you so very much. I have taken your advice, and it helps that it makes sense, its nice to have some one else's views thats not my own or family and friends. But to whiteliliy what you said: "Sadly, you have lost your father early, and have been faced with death much younger than I." it was really weird but that little sentense really shook me up, im not used to the notion of my dad being dead, but yoursentense in away just that bit where you say "you lost your father", its kinda spoke out to me, and im kinda relived in away. its kinda made me come outta this self pittying daze that i seem to be in alot of the time. im sorry if im babling on, but TH ANK YOU! and yes i will keep my chin up....well try to! Ashland71-thank you so very much, its cool that i wont be the only one worrying about going to college, what a baby ive been.lol.thank you! Simon, those are some serious wise words, beautiful aswell, of which like the rest have spoken in volumes. Thank you, and yes i will chose life, liberty, and deffinately JOY. MUCH APPRETIATED THANK YOU KINDLY! XXRenxx

hi, im gonna be going to collge this september, and im leaving my godforsaken borin town to go back to the city(London) where i grew up in for 9 years. the thing is a lot has most deffinately changed, and im wondering will i find a good man? kinda scared of the whole experince anyway.but i havent had a boyfriend in while because the boys in my school and town find me to be something that im not either im to "scary" or to "girlpowerish" or way to "inimidating". or if the'll assume i have a boyfriend. but im sorry thats just who i am, i feel like i got this STAY AWAY vibe to me, but i dont mean to have it. im just trying to be a strong black women, the way ive been brought up kinda hinders my personality anyway. but why why why! women can you help? ren x pps men as well can you gimmie some tips?

hi, i lost my dad to cancer 5 months on thursday in a different country, and i think that (sometimes) im gettin along well and doing ok...but. its like this im in my final year of 6th form, im gonna be taking my alevels in june, and if i pass 1 ill get into the college that i want to, which is my dream,(to be a fashion designer). so basically what im tryin to say is that yes im workin, and my dreams may come to me, but why do i feel 100000% scared of it all. its like i dont wanna go to London and i dont wanna live and grow up, im just to scared of it all. can anyone help me, sort out my confused head? much appretitated, ren x