Big D

It's beyond her. It's really quite fascinating to see who is viewing my page. Point in case, there is some girl named Ashley, that I have never met, nor do any of my friends know her. Yet, she's been looking daily at my page. I guess I have a fan

yes, this was the first conclusion i jumped to as well. The way I see it, it's 1 of 3 things 1) Misses me (everything about me) 2) Misses me (the person/friend) 3) Feeling lonely because it's christmas and our first not together in 4 years. Obviously it caught me totally off-guard hearing from her after the e-mail I got 6 weeks ago, that by what she was saying was a "goodbye for a long long time" type e-mail. While at first I assumed she just wanted to say hi since she was feeling lonely, I didn't have a problem writing her back. But when she replied to mine asking if I'd want to get together, that's when I was thrown through a loop. Since we met about 6 weeks ago, I've felt great because our talk was very emotionally draining, but I got everything off my chest and every question answered that had been on my mind since the breakup. After a lot of thought, I got back to her and told her that we could probably get together sometime, when I'M free. The way I see it, I've been doing much much better since that last meet up and up until this past weekend hadn't really given her much thought. So the plan of action is to just get together and try to have fun. No expectations. No relationship talk. Just friends, and see what happens. If I feel comfortable, then I go from there. If I still feel bad, then I walk away again until I'm better.

oh well... no one got back to me and i already e-mailed her...

I don't follow.... what do you mean I'm not honest and don't explain my feelings? The reason we hadn't been talking the past month is because when we met up 6 weeks ago I told her I still had feelings for her and needed more time to get my head on. Which she agreed to give me. Which makes her e-mailing me about getting together odd just a month after meeting up

Ok, so here is the last thread I had from October 30: Basically, what has happened since then is I walked away. I haven't said a word to her in the past month, even ignoring a thank you e-mail s he sent me 3 weeks ago for helping her out with an online class she has. Fast-forward to this weekend, and my confusion sets in. First, like many I have a myspace page and after wondering for quite some time who the heck is always checking my page, I was able to find a legit "tracker" to see who's viewing my page. Well, in the 24 hours since I installed the tracker, my ex has looked at my page 3 times. Wha....? We've been split up 5 1/2 months and she's still looking at my page multiple times a day. What point does this serve? I've yet to look at her page once since we split, let alone every day. I could understand the whole "she's curious about your life" argument, but that would make sense to her checking it once a week at the most. The next piece of confusion lies in an e-mail I got from her yesterday afternoon. Since the last time I talked to her a month ago, I told her I was going to take my time away and would be in touch with her at some point. She said "well expect an e-mail from me on Christmas since it's your favorite holiday." So naturally seeing an e-mail from her a month before Christmas caught me off guard. It was a generic e-mail wondering how I was and what I was doing. I waited a day and got back to her with a bunch of stuff I've already posted online (that she's read and i played stupid about). She responded a few hours later with some more generic stuff, then ended up asking me if I'd want to meet up to get something to eat during the holiday break. So... what should I do about this? She's checking up on me often and after a month of not talking to me, she's e-mailing me to see how I am and asking if I'd want to meet up. Thanks for the help! D

Agreed. I'm really just thinking that meeting up with me stirred her emotions (like you said would happen, lol) and I'm not thinking too much of it. I'm going to give this a few months apart and see how things go. Maybe I'll meet someone nice in that time? Who knows. However I will agree that after a few months, if there is no change in her actions or my heart, then the ultimate will be put in place. Because 6-8 months of this "i'll miss you" bull**** is just far too much to be serious about. And at that point, if she says she doesn't want anything... just my "friendship"... then I will go into permanent NC... or being gone, whichever sounds better

I agree. I gave went 3 months NC and in the 4 months we were apart, she chose not to date (in any form) and has spent all her time alone, with her roomate or other girl friends, or working. She also spent the 4 months checking up on me to others. She's now seen me again, we've now talked again, and I think the confusion is over-drive in her head. So like I said above, I'm back to NC. Though it's the worst time of the year with our favorite holidays. But what can you do, lol

Haha.. the confusion goes beyond you and me. It seems like whenever I try to tell my friends and family about this situation.. her actions... her e-mails.. etc. It's just one more piece to the "what the heck" puzzle. Like I said in my original thread, there is a part of me deep down that truly believes she has feelings for me still. Her actions pre and post breakup make me feel that while I believe she still loves me, her past is catching up with her (parents divorce and mom leaving her) and she freaked out because our path was headed to marriage and she knew it. Because I feel like she still has these feelings for me, it's tough letting go. BUT.. I know there is nothing I can say or do to change her view on things right now. She is doing this for herself and I can't help her with it. So I have no other choice but to try my best to walk away from it. As an ex, she is FAR too concerned with losing me from her life and tried to convince me that she'd rather us be "best friends" than her date another guy... which is weird obviously, but I'm doing exactly what you said and going back to NC. We had it for 3 months after we first split. I guess we'll see what happens when we have it again.

Brilliant my friend. I loved the part about the leash around my balls, haha. But yes, I'm agreeing with you on this all. You know to be honest, it's quite fascinating how she's been acting since we met. In 4 months of e-mails we exchanged sporadically, I never once heard an "I miss you" until it was a reply to my comment telling her I missed seeing her and would like to meet up. Yet, in the week since we've hung out... in EVERY e-mail she's sent me, I've heard the phase "I miss you" in some form at least once, sometimes twice. It's quite amusing honestly.. I'm taking it as her repercussions from seeing me. That it all really hit her when we were together about what she's missed the past 4 months and all that. So yes, as far as I can predict, that will be the last I hear from her until Christmas. I'm really terrified for the next two months because she always spent Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas was "our" holiday together, so it will be strange rolling solo for the first time in years. I'm just hoping the time apart again will get her to get her head back into reality (even though i know it's not with me right now) so I can get mine back as well

yea... thats the thing... all the "i miss you" stuff stems from me telling her after us meeting up that I need to walk away again and try to get past feelings (we'll see...) and that I'd get in touch with her if I felt like I could do the friends thing. Like I said in my other thread, I really do believe at times she still has feelings.... but I think she's got issues she needs to work out that are stooping her from commitment and relationships. Oh well, it is what it is

haha... well if it's true then maybe I'm in good shape since I've heard both of these from my ex on many different occasions the past week: When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future. When a girl says, "I miss you, " no one in this world can miss you more than that

Ok, I had a long post running in the Get Back Together forum about my meeting with my ex for the first time in 4 months: Anyway.. since our meeting last Sunday night... with some exchanges I've had via e-mail with my ex... she's acted in a way I don't find to be totally normal for a girl that dumped me and said she wasn't in love with me. I was hoping to get some opinions on what the heck she might be thinking. First one: hola. i was just wondering if you got that long email i wrote back to you. i wasn't expecting a response at all b/c i was responding to yours, but since we have had so much trouble with our emails actually arriving i was just making sure you got it. so let me know. i hope you are doing good. it was really nice seeing you on sunday. ive realized lately that life plays some crazy games, and you never know whats going to happen. i guess no one is to say for sure what their future holds for them. well take care, and just let me know if you got the email. but we dont have to talk again until you are ready. ill miss you dearly. bye xxxx Follow up to the one I replied with: hey *(her nickname for me)* im glad you got the email. anyway, i forgive you for not eating much.. i was pretty nervous too! but please don't get too carried away with this dieting thing, you look great and you shouldn't do anything else. as far as disneyland, of course i won't have as much fun as i had there with you!! duhh. those were some awesome times. i will miss you tons while we aren't talking, so take care and tell your family i miss them too! expect an email from me around christmas though, b/c of course on your fav holiday i have to wish you a merry one! keep a smile on your face.. life will turn out just fine and whats meant to happen always does. good luck with the rest of this semester!! when i email you around christmas ill let you know about how my nursing stuff went. i wont know til march if i get in, but im sure ill have a pretty good idea by winter break. okay, well stay safe and have fun.. ill miss you. *(the nickname I gave her)* here's the last one I got, as a follow up to an e-mail I sent her about a dream I had that she was hurt in hey **** i know you said not to respond, but i want to anyways. im sorry your dream was so awful, and i dont think you are a weirdo at all!!! i have crazy dreams too where i freak out, its totally normal. and im glad that you would think about me to email. ***, seriously, whenever ANYTHING happens you call ME! i know its hard right now because of our situation, but you are the most important person to me as well and i would want to help you with anything. i cant believe you would think that i would think you are insane, thats so silly. i just feel bad your dream was so bad ive done that before where i wake up sweating about to cry... some dreams are so realistic its crazy. anyways... off to stupid work and you have a good halloween too!! its mi madres bday so on tuesday im gonna go over there and pass out candy with her to little kids. have a good day!! miss you tons -*** So thats it... maybe I'm just not used to it. But from the time we've met up and her constant talk of missing me, thinking about me, wanting me in her life, not wanting to date anyone else, etc. I'm just not sure why she would be so open about this stuff Or maybe I'm just crazy

Well, it's been an interesting past few days trying to adjust to what I'm viewing as my "new life" now that we've had our long emotionally draining talk. Even though I'm not sure where exactly things will end up, while I would love to be able to go back to being "friends".... over the past few days, I've read a lot of different messages and posts from people that have ex's that want absolutely nothing to do with them and have decided to just throw them out of their lives or have decided to start dating days or weeks after a breakup. It makes me happy knowing my ex cares so much for me and wants to continue with me in some sense and hasn't yet looked at another guy after 4 months. Like I said, I don't know where things go, but I feel lucky to have an ex that has been so good to me after our breakup.

Well.. this is an e-mail I got lastnight from the ex... It's really a lovely letter that shows me she cares for me... but I can't help but think it's a bit of delusion on her side about our future. I want so badly to have her change her mind and realize that we'd be able to have a great future and for her to find that love she once had for me, but I've pretty much lost all hope for it. Even if I feel like I want us to be able to be bestfriends, whether I could handle it is another story. So I guess for now, depending on what the future holds... this is the end of our 4 year history.. i am really glad we were able to talk about everything last night, i think it really helped both of us. i as well am emotionally drained, but i think it was good to talk about things. i think you are right about me going to talk to someone and maybe you should too. i have a lot locked up i guess, and maybe i need someone like that to help me get over it all. i met up with my dad for dinner and we talked about my mom and all to do with that. it was good being able to talk to him about it, and he told me he knows she is torn up inside for what she did. i guess its just one of those things that her and i will never actually talk about. thanks for always being there for me xxxx, and i hope you know that no matter what i am here for you. i know we are gonna need some time apart again, but the minute you feel okay about everything please call me. i dont know what i would do without you in my life, and no matter how long it takes, i want you to be in it. you will forever hold a huge piece of my heart xxxx, you taught me so much about life and helped me so much that i will forever be thankful of what we had. and i know that someday we will be the best of friends that we want to be. don't ever think i dont care xxxx, b/c i care more than you will ever know. we both have learned so much from all this, so please never regret. we both know what real love is, and i think in todays world, having that knowledge will make us stronger than ever. one day we will know why this all happened, i really believe that certain things happen for a reason. i will miss you so much, and will think of you as well. you are my best friend in the world and never forget that. thank you for everything. take care, be strong. don't let the rest of this world change who you are b/c who you are is one of a kind, and i am so thankful for everything. you have helped shape who i am and going out into the real world i feel so well prepared and so knowledgeable on life and i thank you for a lot of that. until next time the ex

hey.. this sounds like my life... with my ex for 4 years.. dumped me 3 months before she turned 20 she seems to be at a point where she's how you all described it... not wanting to settle.. worried about her future... wanting to just focus on school and work and spending time with her girl friends... find herself or whatever. and it's sad to me.... because she openly admits that if something were to happen to me and i was lost.. it would hurt her like losing her parents... and she continues to tell people i'm her bestfriend and she doesn't ever want to be without me.... but she doesn't love me. sigh... love.