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Majoraslayer

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About Majoraslayer

  • Birthday 03/12/1988

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  1. Wow, in one evening we worked through every issue we had to the point that we both laugh about it now. I think I'm ready to forgive her and move forward, as when the truth came out I'm still the only one that has ever made her completely happy (in all ways possible if you catch my drift). I didn't want to obsess over that considering I've never made it a point to make sex the most important aspect of a relationship, it was just a horrible insecurity I couldn't bring myself to surpass. Well, I did. Sorry I kind of......took it to the extreme, but when I wrote this I hadn't slept well in about 4 days so I was practically delusional. For the record however, I can see how it would seem that staying with her is a HUGE mistake and that we're bad for each other. Now that we've worked out both mine and her issues, I have to say I can't honestly remember the last time I was this happy. You could argue that she's done this before, she'll do it again, etc. Well, had you seen the conditions she put herself in it would be easy to see that she finally learned her lesson. Her friends even worked hard to help her get me back simply because she's only happy when she's with me. We're ready to move on, and there's not really a "make it work" left. Its there, and its working better than it ever has before!
  2. Well, I got back with my ex, and we're still together. This was a VERY stupid mistake, but I just don't have it in me to deny her. I love her with all my being, and despite the horrible pain I've felt over her and the hate that still dwells deep within, I can't get over how I feel for her. After dedicating my every waking moment to loving her, it still wasn't enough for her and she had to leave me for him. Now she's back, and she can't deny that he was better at sex than I'll ever be. Just the fact that she had sex with him is more than I can live with, as there was nothing I wanted more out of life than to be everything she could have ever needed. Even giving full effort it wasn't enough, and it never will be. I know getting back with her was a mistake, and that until I made that stupid mistake I was getting better. Still, even when I battled the depression, I lived in constant fear of seeing her with him. No amount of time ever kills how I feel about her, no perspective. The only thing I can accomplish is a way to kill the time without her, but the hole is still there. Rebounds don't even work for me simply because I don't have any desire for anyone else. The pain of knowing that I'm inadequate for her is more than I can bare. Please stop me from doing this. Tell me there's a way I can become more attractive, have a porn star penis, and pleasure her like no one else. Tell me things will get better and that in time I can be with her and forget all that she has done. Tell me that she loves me, and that we can have the happily ever after I woke up for every day for three years straight. Tell me these things, then tell me they are honestly true. If you can't do that, then I can't give you a good reason for me to continue suffering like this.
  3. Does anyone have any tips to avoid it, or treat it? I usually have to have a condom that kills the sensation, but I'd still like to know if there are any treatments or strategies to overcome it.
  4. Well, we went out and things went great. I'm having serious emotional issues out of it, and deep down I still think she's just with me to use me for what I can do for her. Still I love her, and it seems I can only be happy when she's mine. Maybe she's changed; I doubt it, and I'm sure she'll hurt me again, but I can't resist the opportunity to give it one more try. Now I'm having serious issues with the fact that they had sex and lived together. Somehow it kills me inside to know I can't offer her as much as he did, and the fact that they shared what before only I had shared with her makes me incapable of doing it again. The thought of having sex with her now, knowing that she probably enjoyed it more with him, just......destroys everything I had ever believed about sex. I feel emotionally raped; I'm now afraid of sex altogether.
  5. The whole lesbian thing is ALL fantasy. Personally, I wouldn't want someone I loved enough to have sex with to EVER have sex with ANYONE else, male or female, even if I knew about it. Everyone has a different view on commitment of course, but the girl-on-girl fantasy is best limited to porn.
  6. Wow, you're a genius! This situation has bothered me all day, and your solution is PERFECT. Thank for this comforting advice. Whether I give her another chance or deny it to her, the best course of action in any decision is to make an informed decision. With either decision, I will always have my doubts if I don't explore things fully. Your solution will provide me with a "preview" that will tell me everything I want to know. Thank you VERY much! This is the answer I've been looking for all day; a neutral answer to the question of whats right and wrong that will give me a safety net and allow me to better judge the best action to take before I take it.
  7. Well, I've put a lot of thought into this and I think we can make SOMETHING work, even though I realize that it will never be the same. As I look at the posts on here, and the relationships all around me, it seems clear that cheating is more than just a rare ocurrence. In fact, most breakups I've seen are caused by cheating, even if the victim doesn't realize it until after the relationship is over. The logical solution is to not get back together, but also look at it this way. We were more than just lovers, but best friends since we were 15. The three most important years of being a teenager, those last three years of high school where people go through the most changes in maturity, were spent as best friends. She's been like a sister, in a non-taboo sense; even after the first time she did this we were still a tight team. Nothing will ever change what she did, and I don't go into this expecting things to be like they were before. We're both still young though, and I guess we're entitled to make stupid mistakes and to see whats out there. It may have been for the best in the long run anyway; both times she has done this I got the chance to date several other girls, to experience things with other people I would have otherwise been unable to experience, and to make myself a better person by actually stepping back and looking at things from a broader perspective. I don't know how we'll work through this, but I think after the delusions of glamor wear off of getting her back I can find ways to look at it and move on. You guys will have to help me out though; I'll need advice from a few other forums here to work through our issues in a more positive way.
  8. I'm lost. She wants me back, and she's sorry. We both want this, but I don't want the pain again and she did this to me TWICE. I love her, and she wants me back. In fact there's nothing else I want in this world more than to have her in my arms again. The problem? I can't imagine ever coming to terms with the fact that she lived with him and had sex with him. Every aspect of the breakup, and every aspect of reality screams out not to take her back, while every fabric of my hurting heart screams out to take her back. The logical solution is not to take her back, but love is never logical. I don't know, I know if I ask for advice everyone will say to break off contact again and I know thats the right choice. I guess the main purpose of my post is to beg for comfort. I'm ripped in half right now. ](*,)
  9. We need a taste tester so that we can experiment further.
  10. For all those on the boards who are from America, and those from outside who sympathize, I ask that everyone keep the friends and family of the victims of 9/11 in their thoughts and prayers today. Is anyone planning anything in rememberance?
  11. She certainly does seem to care a lot about me! I care about her oo.
  12. I'm not really concerned about what she's up to so much as I just want her to leave me alone. She's not really "friends" with my sister. They talked once on the computer after we broke up, and before that may have spoken a total of 5 times throughout the three years we were together. She's calling to keep tabs on me and to make sure word gets to me what she's up to, and I really don't want to know.
  13. Some of you may remember the last time my ex called my house to talk to my sister. She did it again tonight. The thing is that, until that point, I'd had a TERRIFIC evening with my new g/f. She called, and my mind went blank and I was blinded with anger. So I took this wonderful opportunity to exert my burst of anger and call her back to tell her she didn't have any business calling my house, in not so kind words. Then I told my g/f about it, and she got angry as well. It was at this point that I started worrying about what I've gotten myself into. My g/f texted my ex, simply telling her to not bother me anymore because she was with me now (I explicitly told her not to use harsh words and rub it in her face, and keep in mind that this was her idea and I didn't want her to do it at all). Alright, so my ex texts her back calling her some very vulgar names and cussing her out. My g/f told her that at least she wouldn't leave me for some other guy. From here on out, it was between the two of them, but I can't help but feel responsible for pulling my g/f into this. She doesn't deserve to have to put up with my ex, and I simply want nothing to do with her. Anyway, my ex texts back trying to convince my g/f that I'll mistreat her and such (which I NEVER mistreated my ex, she just couldn't keep her pants on). As if thats not enough, an hour later my other ex (the one that completely changed who she was after we broke up, and I recently became friends with again) emails me. It had nothing to do with anything that was going on, but it was a bit odd that her friend saw me and my new g/f today and that my recent ex had been trying to get in touch with her for a while. Anyway, it was a very casual email apologizing for not calling in a while and updating me on how she was doing. I congratulated her, told her of my new g/f, and encouraged her that she would be surrounded by hot guys when she moves to Knoxville(another update she sent). Me and my g/f had a TERRIFIC little celebration of today being Friday after school, so I'd been in a great mood. When all this trouble started, I wouldn't let myself show her that it bothered me outside of it pissing me off that she was harassing my g/f. I just know that my ex and the guy she left me for are going to come into Kmart hoping to make me jealous, and at this point it just makes me mad that she still has the nerve to bother me like this. If I really did mistreat her, why would she still love me? If she really didn't love me anymore she wouldn't keep trying to make me jealous, she wouldn't be playing these games by "calling for my sister", and she wouldn't have cussed out my g/f for simply telling her to leave me alone. I don't want her anymore, and all I ask is to be left alone. Have I made a mistake here? I just want to do whats right for my g/f; I think I may be falling for her in a deeper way.
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