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r3drobin

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About r3drobin

  • Birthday 07/28/1971

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  1. i cud go for that! while we're at it let's skip March's too plz!
  2. that was me calling.. i had a bit too much to drink so you can stop worrying now!! (hope that helped) xoxo robin
  3. can ya'll come over and bring pizza, brownies and beer??
  4. its been about 2 months....woa, this is the first time realizing how long its been....2 months since he said goodbye to me for good and we've been 100% NC. he's long gone i suppose...although physically 2 miles down the road. i assume i dont run into him becuz he spends his time w/her now...she lives further away in a city i never have really visited and dont know very well. anyway today was a beautiful day weather wise...a real change for TX...and i found myself thinking about our motorcycle rides and days gone by. im not sure if i was missing him or just missing the "thought of him/us"...but i found myself searching his website this evening. ouch ](*,) i cried...i thought about him too much...i called a friend. i tried talking about how bad he used to make me feel during our relationship...how unhappy i was. i tried to put it into perspective and let it go. its just hard. i guess im just lonely. the season is changing...holidays are coming....and this year not only do i not have my boyfriend, i dont have my mother. (passed away suddenly in march) i wish i could skip this time in my life and jump forward to good times... now please. [-o thx for listening. robin
  5. awww Gator, you shud be emailing me ya know. i had a bad day today myself...found myself on my ex's website again and me in tears. im here for you if you need me! xoxo robin
  6. this is somewhat simple. dont get involved or attached if you've never even met in person. thats just asking for a let down.
  7. i am constantly putting out "feelers" to friends and family but still nothing. this is ridiculous. i'm really starting to panic!!!
  8. wow your words remind me of a wise strong woman i talk to on occasion, since she is the mother of my ex its a lil odd and i tend to cry over him and i dont like doing that. anyway she is excellent at keeping her responses to how i can be more positive for me...and its all about me. anyway, i thank you for the kind response... i know what needs to be done its just so hard to make those first steps. i only drink water, tons of it...and i make it to the gym 5 days a week so i'm not slowing down horribly... but then days like this when i come home and eat everything in site...well i didnt take that into account at the gym this morning thats for sure!! and i dont usually do anything to make up for it the next day either. in fact ive been a lil bummed that my weight loss has slowed down...but i know its because i'm having more an more of these days... the empty pit days...i just cant fill myself up. not with food. i guess its obvious i'm trying to fill myself w/the wrong things. although i am trying desperately to find a job! i know that will be a MONUMENTAL step... i just cant find that step...i see steps, i put my foot on em, and then they disappear right out from under me. so now i find my days filled with just sheer panic of what happens when i truly cannot pay my rent, or my car... those days are coming. that is a real hard thing to deal with!! not only is it loosing my apartment and my car.. its having those things put on my credit and having to dig out of that hole eventually as well. and the only place i'd have to go... my mothers house. (which is in a very bad part of town to begin with) where my lil brother lives w/his wife...her 2 kids and their soon to be born baby in Oct. i'd have to sleep in my mom's room. omg, how on earth could i do that. ive only been in that house a handful of times since she died... she died there in her bed, in her bedroom. this cannot happen. you might say get any job right now...yes, i could get a waitressing job somewhere... but i will still loose my apartment and my car... i will not be able to pay all my bills with a waitress job... unless its in a topless bar and i'm not doing that! i would certainly kill for a cake right now. im not joking.
  9. ive been wondering all day why i feel so empty... i cant seem to eat enough today even though my belly feels full. i'm a pit. so until i said outloud while ago, "i feel so empty" did it dawn on me... its an emotional emptiness. not like i shudnt know that...my whole life is empty and disappointing and im falling back into my alone trap... sitting in my apartment not taking my calls...pushing away people that want to just say hello how ya doin. people that care about me i just cant face becuz im tired of telling them that life sux and hearing them tell me it will be fine... it'll work out. i do somehow manage to get to the gym and straight back home...sometimes straight back to bed. i dont have a job, cant seem to find a job, have very VERY little money left, bills are due...a broken lost relationship still lingers in my mind. my mothers death earlier this year... i couldnt shake if i tried. i got on anti-depressants about 2 months ago and now i cant afford another dr visit to maintain them. cant afford to see my therapist. cant afford the donuts and chips i wish i had right now to fill me!!!!!! ive missed church the past 2 sundays and been intimate w/a married man who has been a lifelong friend of mine. i know i'm living wrong and i feel horrible about it but i also feel like im on a banana peel and cant stop. i put in applications daily and never get responses... most jobs arent even paying enough for me to pay my bills. i dont know how i did it before and i dont know how to do it now! ive cut back all my expenses but im drownin here. i do not know what to do. all i want to do is eat and lay in bed watching tv. i find it harder to move every day. i have got to get a grip. thx for listenin to me rant. robin History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, however, if faced with courage, need not be lived again. - Maya Angelou
  10. you did awesome S... you go boyeee... im so happy for you to have even taken a chance.. it can be so scary when an ex is still in your mind. you took a chance and had a good time... there is NOTHING wrong w/that... there is EVERYTHING right with it! good for you sweetie
  11. i have signed on with a couple of them and been very disappointed... they dont seem to have anything for me. back to waitressing... what did you average on your shifts and what type of establishments did you work in??
  12. i havent waitressed since HS! if i could lose 30 more pounds quickly i could work over at Hooters...lol... but not really my thing. i guess i havent truly considered doing that....seems you work really hard but have great potential for crappy tips. seeing how the economy isnt so great right now. i'd be in tears if i worked a hard day and came home w/$20-$30 in my pocket. and that really wudnt pay the bills!!!
  13. i made a bad decision to leave my job of 10 years in april of this year. took out all my retirement, spent it and am now searching desperately for a new job. trouble is I CANT EVEN GET CALL BACKS! i'm stumped. i dont even know why i'm posting here... i should be job searching. i guess im hoping there's a lil job fairy around here somewhere with my new job??? that would be in dallas, irving, grapevine, coppell, or maybe lewisville texas... making at least $45k doing ANY office work....customer service, purchasing, accounting, anything! i did it all at my last job. or maybe i'm just venting. bleh.
  14. well i can tell you im happy as hell i didnt send him a card or anything on his bday.... which was 10 days after mine. yea he sent me an online card, signed "much love".... HAH! F that... and F him. he didnt deserve anything from me and im sure the new woman in his life took care of his bday just fine. i say let it go by and stick to NC... there's just no other way to go. even though ive had some bad days im happy as hell i have stuck to NC for the past 4 weeks. the days can be hard and sad but i know it would be worse if i was tryin to contact him and hearing him tell me he still doesnt want me. xoxo robin
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