beauty_is_pain

i think its a big turn on, a boner, or hes like moaning , and saying thing like oh my god just makes it that much hotter for me

Uhm i had a few circumstances where guys would tell me that they really liked me but were only in it for sex, i've also had alot of guys say that they love me and lead me on but not have any feelings for me at all, and made me into a big joke, so i dont know who i can trust

Am i the type to self destruct? Everytime i seem to have something good in my life, i mess it up. Once i find someone that i truly care for...my heart starts again to wonder... Am i afraid to share something on a romantic level with someone. i have been hurt so many times...maybe its a trust issue. Maybe im attracted to the people who i cant be involved with because its safe.No chance to be rejected...no chance of getting hurt. Is it wrong to be scared of being cared for by someone who you care for urself. Is it wrong to be attracted to more than one person at a time? I mean on one hand im really excited to be with this one person, but yet im also kind of curious as to what it would be like with this other person.This person who i cant be with. Things between me and person A are perfect, really sweet, romantic and playful. But this other person and i just mesh really well. He also hits on me shamelessly which makes things tough for me not being used to this type of treatment. Hes been dating his girlfriend for 2 years and loves her, but the way he acts gives the feeling that he has feelings for me too. Even my friends have noticed it. i feel like an awful person feeling like this. I mean person A i would go to the depths of hell for. Maybe im just uncomfortable with the fact that i dont know if he feels the same. I mean he seems to ...but is he the type to just lead me along and then one day be like , i never really liked u in the first place. Im scared that the only reason he likes me is because i like him and he feels he cant do any better, so hell just settle for me...it really sucks. Im really bitter, and apprehensive about relationships with anyone. Im afraid to open up and really let someone in. Im just purely afraid. I know im young, but i have the mindset of someone like20 years my senior. If anyone can help me get my head together...it would be much appreciated

thanks for the advice! uhmm just want to say that he is talking about making us as a couple official after the dateso we're both going into it with plans for the future which makes me really excited, hes so fantastic, he talks to me like a person and not a piece of meat, which is relieving because ive been treated like dirt in the past. He is literally one of the greatest people ive met. But hes out of town right now and the only thing i want is for hime to come home, but im afraid he wont because he has so much going for him out there, he promises he will... can i depend on him tho, its driving me crazy i just want him home with me? overdramatic...probably...definitely....am i overreacting?

So there was this guy i like and we hit it off right away, he is an introvert, where as i am an extrovert. We are kind of completely opposite, in all ways. But i really like him he is away for the holidays, and i miss him!, we are supposed to go on a date when he gets back crazy excited. i love every aspect of him hes amzing, we can just sit and t alk about nothing and even about important stuff. Hes great, if i havent mentioned. He is concerned about me, and wants to meet my family which is unusual for someone my age...im 17. he seems so grown up. However im wondering will our differences get in the way. He has had a rough family past where as i havent, me and my family are really close. we both have low self estheems which could be lethal, am i overthinking this? i dont know, hes also gone away for 3 weeks and im scared he wont come back, he assured me her would but im still not so sure, someone needs to help me put my mind at ease!...please!

I totally agree, I am just the type of person who likes to stick to one person, until someone else comes along and they always do, i am not particularly worried about myself, i know i am a strong person, I also know that i am incredibly young and that i am still learning, and growing within, so i am going through emotions ive never gone through before, and im learning how to deal with them, i know ill be ok, in fact i know ill be better than ok. You have to just relax and realise someone will come along, it may not be today, or tomorrow, but they will be there, the only person that can truly motivate you is you, if you want something bad enough ull figure out how to get it. We both just need to sit back and realise that there is more to life than just finding that perfect someone, we both have school, friends, family, and perhaps thats where we should be focusing for now, we both arent ready for any kind of commitment and i think that shows to whom ever we're talking to or interested in.

Aww thats so nice of you to say, and yes that is a pic of me in my profile. Yes i can tell you lack confidence, i do to, i think before we get involved in any kind of relationship we need to be ok with ourselves first as individuals. Confidence is attractive to most people so.... Not all girls are interested in the stereotype u mentioned above, infact most girls feel intimidated by guys who look like that. I can tell that you are the type of person who has an outstanding personality that lights up a room whenever you enter, not all people have that, so you're lucky. Before i go to bed is bad for me because those are the times i stay up and talk to the person i like, so that when i do go to bed i lay there in a daze of wanting him, but then reality crushes down and i realize i cant have him. It is nie of you to say that i am an amazing girl, something that i am not told very oftern, if ever. I just wish that the person who i do like would be able to see that i would go to the moon for them, but i guess that is just a fantasy, in fact last night i was talking to the guy i like and we were talking all about love and why after everything we've been through we still want more of it, he told me he was not particularly proud if i feel that way with him, whats that supposed to mean? lol, oh well. I wont give up on us , if you dont look forward to hearing from you

Thanks for responding i really appreciate it, I know understand what your saying, but im curious if you think that i will ever be able to forget the past so that one day i can be the person i used to be... very trusting, im still very young, and i know i have my whole life ahead of me, but i feel like i am growing up way too fast, maturity wise, i like to surround myself with people that are older than me, male and female, because i feel as though i am at the same level, now dont get me wrong, my best friend is my age but she thinks im a fool, for being so easily manipulated, I also feel like like once i have set my mind on something in the aspect of love i find it almost impossible for me to forget about it. I know that this is where i show my age, i always get my hopes up on someone, just to be let down, i like to say its not them who lead me on, but rather its me who leads myself on.

HEy Guys Im new here but ive had an issue for a long time... here goes K well i guess it all started about 2 years ago, i had been talking with this guy who i knew from a previous school i went to and he started to tell me how much he loved me and blah blah blah, ao i was super flattered and continued to talk, even after a warning from a friend who told me that he had told her this to just so he could laugh, well being the nieve little girl i was i fell for it, so after a while he was all like talk dirty to me and such and after about a week or so of refusals he told me that i was the ugliest thing alive and noone could ever love me, i was deeply scarred from this about a year and a half later, i had this mad crush on this guy, and i even thought i loved him, he told me he had liked me too, so we had set up a date and everything, but suddenly he decided he should bring a friend, and detecting something i cancelled our date, he continued to sweet talk and i fell for him all over again, when he moved to england, i felt lost and would constantly talk to my friends about it, well my friends had all stopped talking to me and i couldnt figure out why, so i confronted one of them and they told me that this guy had been leading me on just to see my reactions so him and his friends could laugh at me, and i was amde into a big joke, my friends didnt have the heart to tell me before they had gotten fed up, so i asked this dude about it, and he confessed he also went on to tell me that while telling me all those sweet things and setting up dates he was seeing someone else... again this deeply impacted me i went on to have this next crush on a guy who was about 3 years older than me but quickly learned he was only interested in having a physical relationship with, this was discovered when he repeatedly asked me to show him parts of my body and bluntly asked me to come over to his house for sex. Now... I am extremely bitter, and mistrusting, i have this big crush on my cousins friend, im 17 and he's 22, the odds are already against us, ive been talking to him for about 4 to 5 months, and even at times until 4 am, he kinda plays hot and cold, we have lots in common we even want to name our kids the same thing, we just seem to connect and im falling fast for him, now i know it could never work, but my heart and my head are having a constant argument, i really like this guy, i think he might be perfect, he treats me like a person, we flirt, but i found out just the other day that there is this girl he likes and she likes him too, and they might become serious, i was heartbroken, i was prepared for this dont get me wrong, but i didnt think it would happen so quick, so i decided that i would drink the pain away with my cousins girlfriend, unfortunatley this guy was at this same party, and when i saw him it took away from the anger and i flirted with him for like 2 hours, i even hugged him and told him how attractive he was, i know thats not alot, but im not a very open girl anymore especially after my previous experiences, but after the party it left me wanting more... however he knows that i have a big crush on him, but with the age gap it seems impossible i just dont know where i stand, what i should do, and what i can do to heal myself from my previous experiences i welcoming some much needed advice, thanks for reading beauty_is_pain