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Buzz86

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  1. I'm a Persian guy and I'm familiar with its culture for sure. I don't want to generalize anything but it's typical of people here to play hot and cold, especially females; it's a cultural thing. It's a sign of insecurity and immaturity and I suggest moving on. It's been painful for me to come to realize it myself after wasting precious years of my life discovering this secret of eternity! I understand what you say. It's that you want affection, validation, love and your partner won't reciprocate the way you want. It's NOT that you have low self-esteem, but your partner had been an abusive one . I have to deal with such people almost daily here. There's not much wrong in you, all what you have to do is just letting yourself forget about this one and also consulting a psychologist might help! Good luck!
  2. She's my classmate (yep, sry my mistake). I'm no longer worried about her behavior because I've found the root of the problem and that she will NEVER do anything serious because of the following. She had been extremely hurt by her parents and ex-bf and she's been "heavily guarded". That was where conflictions started. I felt that my feelings are not being reciprocated and she was unaware of that. In addition to that I realized that she's a misandrist. It's frustrating. I could clearly see that in her behavior. She would argue with anybody including other females. And the reason I'm obsessed with this is that I still couldn't forgive myself for letting her in and letting her come so much close. So, yes. She's scared and won't approach whatever. I see obvious signs that she's changed her overall behavior. I guess now she's got a sense of how politely she should behave and how to respect people genuinely. This case is closed for me now, for real. Will take some time to completely get over this one; trying to break the obsessive thought patterns. I'm focusing on my study right now and I'm not biased toward anything and won't let this unfortunate relationship affect my future relationships. I just checked and my female classmates are very polite and respectful that I enjoy talking to them stress-free. Thanks so much everybody and thank you Rose for letting me re-think my defined principles of love. Not sure if I can close the topic.
  3. Yeah this smiling is continuous😄 I always used to be like this for no reason xD
  4. Blocked; done. And meanwhile, I realized that she's blocked me again as well. I have two phone numbers and realized that she's blocked my main number as I'm seeing "last seen a long time ago" on the main one and "last seen recently" on the other one. Didn't want to do this but I don't want to give her any chance to approach in the future(I don't like the block games). Thanks so much for your help. Just a question. What's next? I'm actually glad that she's blocked me too because this gives me more freedom and a better chance to move on. Right now I'm feeling becoming my true self again which is imo a lovely person! Dunno why but right now I smiled without any proper reason (like always I used to do before this relationship), feeling relaxed and content (but yet definitely in shock since everything happened so quickly that I couldn't completely get over it.) The good thing is that now I can meet people of high quality, without any 3rd grade mind games:) I have to fix a few mind-patterns that have been left from the relationship. Will have to find new activities and interests to follow.
  5. Indeed my thought process is something like this for now, just like you said. I'm aware of that stupid mistake I would commit and would like to simply stay away from her, focusing on my study. Things didn't go well when it was supposed to be, so I'm not gonna waste my time and YOU guys' time with this anymore 😂 Simply ignoring her and forgetting the patterns no block needed. I haven't blocked anybody up until now and don't want to do this because it's just obsession and indicating that I actually care. let it go. If by any chance I see her trying to approach, I will report her behavior to the security office of the university. She's trying in a way that allows me to approach her/chase her. I wouldn't at all even dream that she would initiate something in this case; now. She behaves like a psycho/narcissistic person. Not at all. The last time I heard from her was that she's taking antidepressants. There's nothing I could do. I tried my best by providing ways to help her study better and grow as a person. @Wiseman2The only reason that makes me reluctant of doing anything that would stop this completely is that her personality has changed a lot. But I would like to see how a healthy relationship looks like, therefore I'm trying my best to completely forget about her. Let's act indifferent. She will have to forget about me when she sees me moving on.
  6. Two options. First is playing games to get your true self back. The second is to rage quit and enjoy your life, you will gradually find your way back to your true self. The third one is a combination of these two (which I appreciate more). In your case the second will work. Another obvious sign that your should have broken up with her when you felt this way. Focus on your study. Do not chase people.
  7. Got it. I checked stuff here where I live and got to this point that things are complicated here (like I was expecting.) and it's better to forget about things here. The only trouble I'm in is my colleague which I was in contact with. This semester is conducted online and we both have to be active in a few whatsapp groups. We broke up about 6 months ago. She won't stop trying to grab my attention either way. I tried changing my phone number but didn't work. She hasn't messaged me directly yet since break up but won't stop doing that way. This behavior won't allow me to recover from the break up and move on. Apparently she doesn't want me to forget her but she's mentally immature (Despite being 24 y.o) and had been toxic to me. I don't want to message her directly either, but I would like to know how to make her stop acting that way and move on forever? NOT a good case for me. She has to deal with her own issues alone, I'm not her doctor (previously I mentioned that she's suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts.) Thinking of messaging her directly on telegram telling her that I'm no longer interested in anything and asking her to leave me alone. Is it ok? Wanna move on quickly. I have to focus on my study. She wants me to chase her because this feeds her ego, nothing else. A terribly rude and toxic person. Feeling sorry for myself for wasting my valuable time and energy at that point. Anyway, do you guys have any ideas how to do that? How to tell her stop without doing anything that would break her heart?
  8. The bad thing about the last relationship was that the first term in the university was on-campus and I saw a girl and I liked her personality but it was a bit late to initiate something. the next term (which was online) I saw a girl messaging me non-stop and thought that it's the one I liked so I started texting back (and she hadn't had a profile picture of herself) and later on, in the middle, I realized that the girl I'm talking with is not the one I've been looking for! I confused her with someone else! that's why my last relationship turned into shi-t. The last one which I confused with I would say has the most toxic personality in the uni. If I had known it's not the one I'm looking for, I wouldn't have initiated anything. That's what represents as a frustration with myself for what I did. Still couldn't forgive myself for making that silly mistake lol, because that classmate I'm talking about had a terribly toxic personality and I let her cross the boundaries. Anyway. let's forget it.
  9. That's what I always do. I don't put too much effort on making online things look better, including my profiles. Notifications are always off even messanger apps (to avoid distraction). The main thing that makes me insecure is that I don't put effort into making my online stuff look better while other people do and I'm a bit hesitant whether what I'm doing is ok. It feels like a race, and not sure who does the right thing. You guys helped me with real life stuff and I put a lot of effort into making my real life personality better by being my real self and really appreciate that. Just the problem with online stuff still persists. I won't be having any problems afterwards. Online stuff are tricky and hard ones because people are putting too much effort into it (and not in real life, that's why it's easier for me to forget real life scenarios unlike the online ones). Maybe cutting down the internet usage? I think so. Let's forget about profiles and stick to real life. I will try using internet only to get what I need to succeed in academic life and music. Legit.
  10. Done. Seems like people are obessed with social media stuff these days and are putting a lot of effort into making their profiles look "irresistible"(just came across several websites with the tag how to make your profile pic irresistible). I wasn't aware of this as I don't have social media accounts (I'm busy with real life but "had been" obsessed with profile pics). Great points, noted, thanks.
  11. Hey Rose Mosse, thanks for your suggestions. Good points indeed noted, and I will consider doing them soon. And there's something I'd like to talk about xD. I've been curiously thinking about one of your remarks almost everyday, which was about my genuine intention of getting into a relationship and whether it's to have sex or otherwise. I asked myself sincerely whether it was because of sex or not. Good question. And the answer was a NO, fortunately. That's because if you really love sb, then you wouldn't let them feel even more vulnerable when you're not sure about their current living situation, whether their fundamental needs (for example, satisfaction with life, success etc.,) are being satisfied (these are just my honest opinion). Culture plays a role at this point. Anyway. The main thing I afraid of is that I'm extremely picky in real life situation and haven't yet found one that I really would fall for and that's mixed feelings; I want to get into a relationship (not now ofc, plans have been changed) but in the meanwhile I don't find the girl of my dreams and that's frustrating.
  12. One important question. How to deal with the social media pressure? seems like nowadays people are so different in real life than who they show up online.
  13. Hey, after a few months of contemplation, I've come to realize that this is me who has been making things worse, mainly because of high standards, being extremely picky, and impatient. It wasn't all my fault either, those who I had a connection with were not at all up to my expectations, and I'd been unknowingly playing games with people. I've realized some patterns need to be demolished, some thoughts patterns that potentially ruin a relationship. I would not let the partners approach, and in the meanwhile, I want them to have feelings for me. When not in a relationship, I feel highly confident, which attracts. I look highly insecure and impatient in relationships (like playing games with people), and there's repulsion. Of course, it's not only about my issues, the partners hadn't had some personality traits that are most valuable for me, like they were only trying to win me, and that's why I'd been unknowingly playing games; letting them be disrespectful and crossing the boundaries and start playing games with them. This is a psychological pattern that would happen in specific situations, and I'm aware of that. And also I suspect it's the social media pressure. Because in the real life out of the social media, I'm extremely picky and confident, exactly opposite of what I look in online scenarios. I've decided to temporarily stop initiating any relationships, work on my mental health, and pursue my dreams. I'm not in hurry to initiate a good and serious relationship/friendship. It feels like being a real man ngl.
  14. Yep, excellent points! I understand I need to change the way I think about various things including the friendship definition itself and the way I can make a long-lasting relationship. I will need a few months to work around this because I need to re-form my thoughts pattern. I feel I've come one step closer to the actual roots of such problems and I'm currently working on them one after another. Thanks everybody ❤️ for your time and help. Will try my best and get back to you guys whenever I'm done working on these stuff.
  15. That's right. I work too(part-time though) and do volunteer projects as well. I don't have enough time to do things. I think I haven't fully described my situation yet, that's why. I'm a senior in the uni, and my current major is related to Engineering and I'm gonna change my major to Physics (so I've been having to study the 4-year materials in 2 years all by myself), and in the meanwhile, I've been pursuing a minor in computer science and attending many other courses including vocational training, workshops, online courses .... Ohhh that's a long list right? Add my current uni courses to these! That's a lot of pressure already and I can't do anything about that, because that's how I can make a buff in my resume. Classes 6 days a week, and volunteer work on the seventh one lol. So, unfortunately, I can't do anything regarding this.
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