I’ve been seeing this guy for 6 weeks. He is a single father.It has been good but tough to get used to the downsides of being with someone who has a child. In fact, after week 2 I kind of called it off as I felt like he didn’t have the time for another person in his life. He agreed but in less than a week later he wanted to see me again to try and give things another go. I agreed.
Since then, unexpected drama has come up with his ex which has made his life really tough. She brought bad false claims against him and now he is dealing with preparing himself for a court battle. I have been supportive and understanding despite him always being wound up over this when we are together. He was venting for so long o the last day that I had to ask him to stop because it was only stressing him out more and getting in the way of us getting to chat and to know one another more.
After this, we went out for food and he stopped venting as much. He has shown in many ways that he is into me. He has had me around his child, I’ve met his dad and his friend. We aren’t bf and gf yet and are only dating so he didn’t introduce me as this. They seem to know I am the one he is dating. He was telling me how he talks about me a lot and that some people close to him even ask him how I’m doing. He said he was seeing a few people before he met me, but that he didn't mention any of them to friends or family. In the shop the other day, he tried to hold my hand.He talks about future plans "if we were to get serious." So I don’t feel like this is all in my head.
After the meal, we came back to mine and had sex. He seemed normal and content after it, kissed me goodbye and then I don’t know what happened, but it was like he was about to say “I love you” , but realised what he was saying half way and changed “you” to “myself” - I just looked at him funny and we started laughing. He said “what? Is it too soon to say that I love you?” I kind of smiled and didn’t answer. He smiled too and then left.
What is confusing to me is that he says that he doesn't want to rush things or feel the pressure to put a label on what we are. I think his past relationship was rushed and it became very toxic so maybe he is a bit scared.I am happy to let things evolve slowly and naturally as well, but I don’t know if this means that we are still on dating apps and seeing other people. He has told me that he doesn't want to get in the way if I meet someone who I have a better connection with as he knows he has a lot going on.
He mentioned how he uninstalled Tinder from his phone as he didn't have the time for dating around. When out for the meal, we were trying to remember when we first met to see how long it had been. I opened Tinder on my phone to look at our message history to calculate this.I have the app still but haven't been using it.
After this date, I sent him a long message because I was worried he may think that I wasn't being supportive when I told him to stop talking about the situation with the ex. I assured him I was still there to be supportive and listen, but that the venting was better done in moderation because it was stressing him out and wasting our precious time to get to know each other. I assured him that I do really like him and want to get to know him more.
He then left me on read for a whole two days which is abnormal. Usually it may be a couple of hours as he is busy being a dad and sorting out the court stuff. He finally got back to me and just said that he read my message, took it all in and then briefly told me his plans for the day. Over the weekend, I also noticed that he must have reinstalled Tinder again as there was a new picture on his profile when I was showing pictures of him to a friend.
This and the tinder thing has really confused me. I don't know whether he is playing me or whether he is just uncertain about what he wants relationship-wise.I think a chat is needed regarding seeing other people. Leaving me on read when he was clearly active on social media over the weekend, and it being after we had sex has made me feel like ***. I am in no rush to get back to him. Should I wait 2 days as well? So appreciative of any advice x
