Daemon

Thank you Sinead for the vote of confidence, it helps to know that it COULD work. And thanks lady00, I think you're absolutely right, and that's a problem I had (or have, but I'd rather think it's in the past). But I'm not sure how much to leave it up to her. I mean, her family (most of whom have never met me) have only heard that bad things I've done and thereforeeee hate me, so talking to them just reminds her of how much of a jerk I was. Second, if I don't do anything she'll just continue thinking I'm an uncaring jerk and that won't help me either. Obviously I'm not going to stalk her, but... I don't really know exactly where to draw the line. And no problems acting like I don't NEED her, I just GOT INTO MED SCHOOL, GO ME MUAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA, I'm in too good a mood to stand there sobbing. Which raises one last question: when I appear at her door, should I be in a good smiley mood, or more somber and nervous?

Uh... let's just say that for now, a few months of debt is more of an annoyance than a real problem, and getting out of it is one of my lowest priorities. And about buying her back... well, I said I changed. Two months ago I would NEVER have spent that much money on someone I hadn't gone out with for a least a year, and trust me the idea of buying her back annoys the heck out of me. But it's not like we just drifted a part and I'm throwing money at it to bring her back. I kicked her down, now I'm just doing everything I can to at least get her back on her feet. At least that's how I see it, hopefully she will too.

I'm writting this because I've been in bed for three hours and can't sleep, so I might as well get it out, though any advice is appreciated. Not to reiterate my whole story, but basically 2 months ago my ex broke up with me because I was a complete * * * * * * *. I immediately realized the mistake I'd made, and tried to get her back, but being me I started small, flowers, teddies and stupid emails, and that didn't work. Then a month and a half ago she left to Europe with her family, and that sucked. Eventually I decided... screwit, I screwed up so I'll do everything I can to make it up to her, even if it just means committing emotional suicide. So I bought her the nicest Versace necklace I could afford and went to Marseille... and Amsterdam, Paris, basically a really fast Eurotrip to deliver it to her. I sent her an email to tell her I was there, but all I got back was her friend telling me that she (my ex) was happy her family was there or she would fall back for me (she's pretty much been angry at me the entire time). When I finally found her (in Barcelona)... I decided, weirdly, that I didn't want to stress her out on her vacation, so I left her alone. I've been back for almost 3 weeks, and she gets back in 4 days. Since I'm currently very very in debt and can't think of anything else I can do without spending, last ditch effort will be to give her a few days to get back and relax, then pop by her appartement and give her the necklace (that she doesn't know I bought), and hopefully talk to her. And that stresses me out. I've done everything I can think of, blown off other girls, changed myself as much as I could in so little time... I know it would work if we went at it again (doubt me if you will, but I DO know). I just... needed to get that out, and I'd kill for some advice on what to say when I see her, or if there's something else I could do. Thanks.

"if you can get it for free why work for it" would apply if girls where all the same. But they're not. To me, it's more a question of "If McDonalds is so cheap and convenient, why ever waste time and money on a nice restauraunt?". And you, like a nice restauraunt, will probably never have as many customers as McDonalds... but is that the point? This is how it is: when a guy walks in to a room, he'll obviously notice the 36D peroxide haired girl in the tank top and mini skirt first. But often (not for all guys), about 3 seconds later he'll realize that those girls are a dime a dozen at any club and spot her friend in the sweater and loose jeans. Why? Because she looks like someone I can actually TALK to. Sure, I'll spend alot more time at a party with a girl who just sits on my lap and brings me a beer, but I'll REMEMBER the one who made me laugh when I overheard her telling a joke to her friends, and she's the one I'll talk to if I see her in class or anywhere else. To not seem cold or prude, just don't make a few easy mistakes: don't overtly bash the skimpily dressed girls. Be approachable, don't try to prove you're better than them by acting cold to guys and acting like you don't want any attention (not that YOU seem the one to do that kind of thing, but it happens alot). But don't go overboard and try to drown guys in your personnality either, whether by being overly sarcastic, intellectual, trying to crack jokes every 2 seconds, whatever. As long as you seem like a genuinely interesting person, my being able to see little paw print tattoos on your cleavage or not is a non-issue.

That's a very good point, and believe me I've thought about it. Maybe it's because I'm too young, maybe I'm just a confused person, but I can't be sure either way. There's no doubt she's special to me or I wouldn't bother, but whether I'm acting on love or because I just feel bad for what I've done to her, or like you said whether I'm just playing power games... I honestly can't tell. But the way I see it, the worst case scenario is that, even if she still hates me, she'll feel better knowing that someone would go through these lengths for her. And I at least owe her that.

hehe she decided I was the love of her life, not the other way around. My original plan was to wait for her to get back and do something big then, but I've wasted a LOT of money before on girls only to have it be a waste, so I'd rather just go there. At worst I get a trip out of it (+ I have friends there so even if she refuses to see me I can have a good time).

Hey, I'm new here so I'm not 100% sure how this is supposed to go. I'll just try to be as concise as possible. Basically I've known this girl for about a year. She initiated everything, apparently (though she never told me directly) thinking I was the love of her life. Long story short, I got 3 strikes against me: December: When she was about to tell me she loved me, talked about how I still liked my ex (we weren't going out at the time). She kinda distanced herself then, until: February: Was 4 hours late meeting her, because I was out with some female friends (which of course I told her, thinking honesty = good) a month ago: said some mean stuff about her (didn't mean it but doesn't matter) on msn. The logs saved to her computer, oops, and she was very very upset. So since then, almost no contact with her, though I've been talking to her best friend, and learned: 1) That I was the "love of her life" and destroyed her. 2) That instead of just getting over me, she's still acting angry at me (which in my experience is a good sign, but who knows) 3) She destroyed this teddy bear I got her, but kept the flowers I dropped at her house a week ago, though she went online to check the meanings of all of them, found one meant "false love" and decided it was sign. 4) She calculated the price of everything I got her, realized that in total it equalled one week's allowance (20 years old with an allowance, ain't that sad?) and... I'm not sure. Wasn't impressed. 5) She told her friend she met some couples in which the guy did stuff way worse than me and are still happily together, and told her friend about this (kinda ambiguous, but according to the friend a very good sign) 6) Told her friend to stop talking to me (which she obviously didn't) because it was giving me hope, but... it was surprisingly ambiguous. Anyway she's spending a month and a half in Europe, mostly in the south of France, and I decided screwit, I'll take a week off class and go there, partially to see her, partially just for the gesture, and partially because... why not, travelling is fun. BUT I'm not sure if it's a good idea... the way I see it she'll either freak that I'm stalking her, or take it as one of the best things I could do. I'm leaving in 3 days, and I want some idea of what could happen, and if this is a really stupid idea. Any help/advice would be great!