SadMan

Hey there, I am going through the same thing aswell so, you are not alone. Eventho my ex has a bf right now, she still do the BF/GF still with me after I had no contact with her for 2~ years. But at the same time, while we talk, she always gives me the hints that we can never be together again. So some time I am very confuse because she would hold my hands, hug me, kiss me(countless times) and other R rated stuff..... but at the same time, she would tell me she dont want to cheat on her BF......so on one hand we have this HAPPY OLD TIMES but at the same time she would keep a boundry. To be honest, it hurts. It feels good during the time but afterwards, its just like another breakup when she say things like you will find someone better, someone you truly loves and be together. After times after times I see the pattern and its repeating itself. Everytime I see her its like getting together and breakup again after the days end. This is like a game to women and we men are stupid enough to play along eventho we know nothing good will come. I, myself is confused too....

First, I want to thank you all to take the time to help me. To give a little more background. I am pretty sure I am the father of the baby. She was pregnant before and she acted the same way of not calling me and stuff. She is doing the same thing the second time. Maybe it is the hormonal changes but does it have to be like this ?? She can have mood swings but geezzzz, give me a break too....... is not like I dont want to be there for her, seems like she is pushing me away...... I know a fact that she wants to keep the baby but we are not in the stand where we can have (ready to have) a baby right now. I guess this should be on the Pregnacy form but for the Mothers out there, does this sound normal to you ? Did you do this to your BF/Husband ?? I want to take care of her but at the same time, she is making me feel like I want to just walk out and leave....... I miss her, but she doesnt give me the same feeling back. Today is the 3rd day and she still havent given me a call whatsoever........ Should I call her ? or just give her the space ?? she didnt ask for the space but it sure feels like it. She I just wait for her to call me?? I feel like trash, when she need me, she would call me to bring her stuff, when she doesnt, she would just tell me to go home....... and not willing to call or anything..... I am the receiveing end of this and it does not feel good......

Hi all, Its been a while I've been on here and now I am in a problem. My girl friend recently found out that she is pregnant and even before she was pregnant we were always in an argument. Arguments about big things, small things, everything..... She doesnt call me as much as before, infact, she doesnt call me at all....... I told her this problem and I told her that why dont you call me anymore ?? then she would say, I'll call you when I have time..... I mean, you cant be busy every min at work...... Because of that, I would always be the one to initiate the calls ask her what she wants to do after work and stuff and its reached to a point where I think she donest even care. Every time we are in a fight or argument, I would always be the one that calls her back..... My fualt, her fualt, she would not be the one to call me back next day........ Recently she been doing on and off mood swings that I cant stand. I know she is pregnant and its a hormoes thing but it is really unbareable. Like on Wed for example: She told me she has a head ack and she doenst want to cook, so I got outa my ways and drove for 3 hours to buy her dinner and after that she just went stright to bed. She is always complainting how she is tire so I figure we are not gonna do much so I just went out with some guys to have some drinks and go back home, then she told me why dont you just go home (we dont live together) and i was pretty sad that she said that because I got everything ready so that I can spend a night with her, she turns around and told me to go home. I was pretty upset and I havent called her since....... and not suprising, she didnt call me since either. I dont know what to think or what to do now, I thought about breaking up with her but I dont think thats the right thing to do....... She made me very depress...... Some one please help....

Nope, Guys dont change just because you had an abortion. You really need to leave this guy. He doesnt want to have a long term relationship with you. He wants not strings attatched. He is simply playing you and all he want is sex from you. If he cared about your feelings and wants a long term relationship with you, he would sit down and talk to you about having the baby or having an abortion and giving you his side of the reasoning. Such as money issues, housing, etc... Not just giving you the, "Oh your pregnant ?? I dont want nothign to do with this" act. and just letting you know if you decided to keep the baby and he did that, you can always sue him for child support and negligence on physical and mental distrees. He will be giving you a BIG check every month. It would be STUPID for him to blow you off once he knew you were pregnant. If you want to find out more, contact your local women's group activiest and they will give you all the help you need to bring the healthy baby to this world.

Hi there Pinky, First of all, I am sure you are not a ugly person. You are young and developing. Have you heard about the story "The ugly ducking"? You will grow up and be more beautiful day by day. They tease you beucase they are jealous of what you have. Dont change for any body if you feel good the way you are, at least dont change for the people who dont like you.....I mean, WHY would you?? They treat you bad and they should receive the same from you. Dont respect anyone that who dont respect you. Changing for them is like doing their homework for them or do their book reports. You will have to ignore those people who are trying to hurt you. They say things to make you sad so they can see you sad. Dont fall into their foolish games. Be proud of who you are and only change because you want to change, not for anyone. If you want to do something about this you can always talk to your teacher and they will know what to do. They can move you away from those punks so that they will not have the chance to make fun of you during class to disdurb you from your studies. And please, dont try to be friends with those who dont respect you. There are other kids in school that would LOVE to have you to be their friend. Find the one that has the same interest as you and it will be easy for you to make friends with them. You know why that girl looked back and made fun of you ?? that girl who made fun of you after you change your hair and guys are complementing you ??? Thats the case of jealousy. She probly tried so hard and no one even notice her. That made her feel bad and ugly, so she had to make fun of you to make herself feel better. Feel that she is better than you. Dont fall for her games. Dont let those bother you. Make fun of them if it will make you feel better...

Hi all, Well, short and to the point. Before my GF was pregnant, she was aways warm and needed me. But after she found out shes pregnant, she seems like she dont care about me any more. She would sometimes be warm with me and some time just pure cold.... like she doesnt need me at all. When she always feels tire, I got upset one time and told her that you are always tire and its getting annoying. She just cuts me off by saying mean things and then dont even care how I feel and dont care if I am mad or not. I stop talking to her, and shes acting like I dont exist............She wouldnt call or anything...... she would call me every day and now with small arguments, she would not even call or anything. How can some one feel like I am the world and then now its so on and off. I am really turned off by all this cold shoulder went ever I want to talk about a problem...... is like she dont even care. What is going on ???

Hey Misery, Thanks for taking your time to help me out........... To answer your question, the first time she said she would break the friendship with her friend and stop all this drama.......... Now just reached to a point where I want her to choose between us.........because I am THAT much dislike her friend........Plus I am very upset how she lied to me about this whole thing........at least ACT infront of me...............she didnt even put up the effort to act infront of me....... What should I do ?

Hello everyone, It has been a while since my last post on this site...... Now I am on a debating on to trust her or now. We've been together for 1.5 years now...... and during the time, one of her friend that I made her choose was being a *beep* all these times....... and I know she is not a good friend, always drink and smoke and do pot and stuff, just not an average friend. I let her know how I feel about this friend of hers and she agreeed becuase she was affecting our relationship....... So short to the point, My gf told me one day that she has talked to her friend and told her that she can no long hang with and because of her actions that they can no long be firends.... I believed her and times go by, I notice that my girl friend still talks to her bad friend and yesterday at her graduation, when they all take pictures she would naturally talks to her and take pictures with her like nothing happen.........! So yesterday I made her choose between her friendship with her or relationship with me........ I know its a very imature thing to do but I dont know why she would lie to me about no being friends with that *beep* anymore and turn around and be like nothing happened with her.............I feel this is kinda like a two face thing...........

I dont know........... My guess is that her magic momnet with him is over............ She tells me all that and yet still refuse to be with me. I asked her why, she said she is afraid, afraid that will be my old self again once she is with me......... she said she wants to wait and see........ is that what you call using ??

After my ex and I broken up a year ago from a 5 year relationship. I broke all contact with her and healed myself from the pain when she lefted me with someone else. During the break up she contacted me in everyway posible. She is always the one that initialated all contacts. When she contacted me I thought I still have a chance with her. But I was wrong. Last month I finally put an end to everything when she simplily stop contact whenever she wanted to is like she didnt care all of a sudden. She told me that we shouldnt be friends anymore. That really hurted me so I want to end all these pain by saying a lot of bad things to her like " your a b**tch, sleep with all the guys in the world and pretend nothing happened" I know things like this you cant say to a female especially when you two were in love once. She basically blow up screaming at me and then I told her I will never see you again. A month later, 3 days ago, she came to my house and then tell me how much she missed me and how much she wanted to see me. I was weak and wanted to know why she came. So I let her spoke to me and see me. Then she was crying and said how she misses me. And she wanted to kiss me, I am stupid and I let her. Then we were close like couples again for the past few days. I think what I did was wrong. I dont know why there is a part of me that tells me she is using me. She did this in the past once and I think she is doing this again and I am LETTING HER do it. Well, she havent called me since yesterday afternoon coz she have to work. I dont know what I am doing..........I think I am letting her use me.......... I guess I have to wait and see if that is ture once again....... Can anyone tell me what have I done ???

Tinkerbell and Lady00 have just discribled my problem. That is exactly what is happening to me right now. After my ex and I broken up a year ago from a 5 year relationship. I broke all contact with her and healed myself from the pain when she lefted me with someone else. During the break up she contacted me in everyway posible. She is always the one that initialated all contacts. When she contacted me I thought I still have a chance with her. But I was wrong. Last month I finally put an end to everything when she simplily stop contact whenever she wanted to is like she didnt care all of a sudden. She told me that we shouldnt be friends anymore. That really hurted me so I want to end all these pain by saying a lot of bad things to her like " your a b**tch, sleep with all the guys in the world and pretend nothing happened" I know things like this you cant say to a female especially when you two were in love once. She basically blow up screaming at me and then I told her I will never see you again. A month later, 3 days ago, she came to my house and then tell me how much she missed me and how much she wanted to see me. I was weak and wanted to know why she came. So I let her spoke to me and see me. Then she was crying and said how she misses me. And she wanted to kiss me, I am stupid and I let her. Then we were close like couples again for the past few days. I think what I did was wrong. I dont know why there is a part of me that tells me she is using me. She did this in the past once and I think she is doing this again and I am LETTING HER do it. Well, she havent called me since yesterday afternoon coz she have to work. I dont know what I am doing..........I think I am letting her use me.......... I guess I have to wait and see if that is ture once again.......

My ex and I were together for 5 years and broken up 8 months ago with no contact for about 7 months until few weeks ago that she told me she is single again. We broke up because she left me with another guy. and during the time she was with him, he didnt treat her right and now she is single again. For the past three weeks we started to talk like friends and then got into this really weird relationship where we act like bf and gfs but we were not. She crys to me and tells me how much she miss me during that time of no contact, tells me how much she still likes me. However she told me that she cant get into any relationship right now because she doesnt have a stable job. When we go out, we act like bf and gfs, did more than what bf and gfs would usually do, we even had sex serval times. But two days ago, when I when out with her in the morning, I kinda blow up in her face because I know that she was paying bills for her ex and I was upset that she was taken advantage of. But that kinda back fired and she was upset coz I didnt change the attitude of caring into yelling........ Then the rest of the day was good.....then at night we had a serious talk about us. I told her I want to be with her again. Then she said she wants to be honest and told me that she had sex with some guy she likes last week and I asked her why are you doing this to yourself. She said she doesnt know and she just doesnt want to settle down right now. I told her how much this "PLAYING AROUND" is hurting me and I ask her if I was doing this, how would you feel ? She told me she would feel hurt too. So I gave her a choice of keep playing around and lose me for good, or stop all this playing and start over with me. She asked me if theres a time frame that she has to reply. I stupidly told her that she can tell me whenever she is ready and I wont see her during the time. She gave me a big hug and I told her to think about it carefully and she said okay and I left her house. I drove out for like five mins and the she called me to see if I am okay driving at late at night....... at that time I was happy she called coz seems like she still cares about me...... So you guys think what I did was right ?? Am I pushing her in a way? I read all the post that myjoy have posted about giving them space but what she was doing forced me to make her choose...... I dont want her to turn into a B****h..... When should I call her back if she doesnt call me for weeks or months ? So far its been 3 days since I last saw her and told her to choose..... Should I just take back the ultimatem?? Call her and tell her that " I've thought about it, I dont want to force you to choose anything....... I know I am just a friend to you right now.... you can do what ever you want....... we can continue to go out if you like with out the sex part"... You think its a good idea to take back what I've said and apologies to her about the whole thing and just be natural ? or I should just let it play along and dont do anything and wait for an answer ??? I dont want to screw this up...... thank you all for taking the time to help me...

Hello Everyone.... Heres the link for those who dont know my short story link removed My long story short, my ex and I have been an on and off relationship......and we've been together for about 5 years....... about 6 months ago she left me for another guy because I wasnt treating her right.... and that was the third time that we've broken up....(serious breakup).......and she has a bfs in between those breakups...We are both 23.... Now, yesterday she IMed me and she told me that she is single again and then I was happened to be interviewing around her house so I asked her to come out have a little lunch together and she agreeed and we went...... we talked for 3 hours and during the talk.... she asked me how I was, how i have been doing these past 6 months...I told her fine..... talked a little the things that happened to each of us during this 6months of seperation. We talked about the past what we've gone through. She was like a normal friend at first. Then as talk has gone longer, she became touchy......... touch my hair.....(coz I had short hair before and now I have long hair) touch my hand, my muceles ( I was buff 6 months ago and now just a wimply boy). She kinda brought that up that you've gone skinny.......... and she asked me a lot of senative questoins like have you seen any girls you like lately? you still like me? and forth.......... She wored the perfume that I like......... and heres an update: Well, after that day, friday, she invited me to go clubing with her on that same day and I was like wow heres my chance.... so I offered her a ride to there because she told me she had a car accident not long ago. So I tried to be nice. But then later that night when we were about to go, she called me and told me that she is goign to go by herself and I felt that she is with some new guy that she is hooking up with.....(wow talk about jumping into relationships)... well, I thought about it that night and changed my mind about going with her coz I dont want to see her hooking up with another guy....... I called her and told her that I am not going, she asked why, I told her I am not in the mood to go.........she asked if I was sure, I told her yes....then she said ok and promised to come to my gradutaion the day after. Well, on the day of my graduation, she didnt show up, didnt call or anything........... nothing.... is like she disappeared in the thin air...... Today is sunday and still no phone call, no congraulation, nothing....... Now why would someone you love that much do that ??? One day she is all touchy and friendly, the nextday she just dont give a damn.... I am so confused.............. Please anyone help.......

Hello everyone...... I havent been on this form because I have healed alot from it and it has helped me gone thorugh REALLY REALL tough times for me........ Now i am coming back because I am back in those tough times.... My long story short, my ex and I have been an on and off relationship......and we've been together for about 5 years....... about 6 months ago she left me for another guy because I wasnt treating her right.... and that was the third time that we've broken up....(serious breakup).......and she has a bfs in between those breakups...We are both 23.... Now, yesterday she IMed me and she told me that she is single again and then I was happened to be interviewing around her house so I asked her to come out have a little lunch together and she agreeed and we went...... we talked for 3 hours and during the talk.... she asked me how I was, how i have been doing these past 6 months...I told her fine..... talked a little the things that happened to each of us during this 6months of seperation. We talked about the past what we've gone through. She was like a normal friend at first. Then as talk has gone longer, she became touchy......... touch my hair.....(coz I had short hair before and now I have long hair) touch my hand, my muceles ( I was buff 6 months ago and now just a wimply boy). She kinda brought that up that you've gone skinny.......... and she asked me a lot of senative questoins like have you seen any girls you like lately? you still like me? and forth.......... She wored the perfume that I like......... Now is this normal or she is trying to make a move ??? I dont know what to do........... I am so afraid to get hurt again and seems like shes the one whos playing these games very well......... is like shes the player thats been playingn this game and I am just a game piece..... Please help me, anyone with had this happened to them ???

So Morrigan, If the ex hasnt contact you for a month or so, did they really give up? or they know I have a life now so they stop thinking I would be their backup man forever? Cos its the first time I havent seen my ex more than a month and its been 2. She hasnt called, e-mailed, text, online contact me and I am starting to worry. Having dreams about her everyday. Its really bothering me............. What should I do? Contact her ? or keep away? thanks....