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NightFairy12

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  1. Here’s my story... met a guy online and we ended up in a relationship for 2 years. Towards the end I was going out a lot with my friends for girls nights which ended up with me drunkenly making out with a guy I knew from way back when at a club one night. So many people told me not to tell him or throw away my relationship over a drunken make out session but dishonesty isn’t my style so I came home and fessed up. During our argument I realized that even though I loved him if I was capable of doing that what else would I be capable of doing as I had no intentions of slowing down with my friends and maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. At that point he was CRUSHED, first because I had cheated on him and secondly bc in the same breath I was telling him I needed to be alone even though I loved him dearly and we had a great relationship. We had light contact over the next 6 years and both had other relationships during this time. Eventually i bump into him one night after going to a known spot he hung out at and sparks rekindled. This time we dated for 3 years and the relationship ended bc he developed a drinking problem. I tried to be supportive and work with him through the problem but after getting arrested for driving drunk and then blaming it on me for him being out drinking in the first place after an argument we had - something in me just died at that point and I no longer saw a future with him so I ended it again. He was devastated as he thought we were going to be together forever (it probably didn’t help that this was the second time I was ending it but this time it wasn’t me that screwed up). We have remained friends and he has since gotten help to quit drinking all together and is doing great with a new girlfriend who I believe he is going to marry someday. Another ex and me had a TERRIBLE tumultuous relationship for 1.5 years where I left due to his manipulation and mind games (borderline emotional abuse) and he ended up coming back a year later admitting how terrible he was to me and seeking another chance to which I said NO WAY. It has been 8 years since that relationship and every so often he pops back up and I’m fairly sure if I wanted to we could give it another go but I wont subject myself to that again.
  2. Dear ***, It hurts so bad in places I didn’t even know existed. If you really loved me would you continue to hurt me like this? I would place myself in the line of Fire so you wouldn’t have to feel one ounce of this kind of pain. You selfish POS!!! You never made me feel like I was #1 in your life, the way you were in mine. Anything you needed from me was at your beck and call the ONLY thing I asked for was your attention and unconditional love in return. The fact that I even had to ASK for that is sickening. The night my grandmother died you were “too tired” to come comfort me. The night my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer you “were too busy with friends”. All I needed was your arms and you couldn’t even give me that. I would have dropped everything and anything to be the shoulder you cried on THATS love. You just take, take, and take. I meant what I said that night I feel sorry for you, you will never know what it’s like to deeply love someone to the point where they come first. I don’t even know if your children will be motivation enough for you to change as look at your father. You never had a chance. But your an adult now, you NEED to know better. And I hope one day you see the error of your ways. And because I love you I hope your happy. I hope you find everything you felt I couldn’t give you to the point where you abandoned me without a second look. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough. I’m sorry my love for you wasn’t enough. I’ll see you again though, this side or the other.
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