Luck of the Irish

If you give blowjobs to random people, then it's a good idea. If you are monogamous, then I don't see the point in it.

Get a divorce. Get the police involved and follow their advice. Also talk to an attorney. You don't want him to end up with any of your stuff.

I was referring to this.

Wow, this is totally wrong. I am Mormon. I am in the military and I salute the flag. So does every other member I know.(hand over heart during the Anthem). We celebrate every American holiday there is. More so than most people infact. If you criticize a religion, atleast take the time to learn about it. Of course you only hear negative things from disgruntled members. That is WHY their disgruntled. If you actually saw a service, you would see that is is identical to most other services. Oh, and the tithing is not expected. You don't get excommunicated and beheaded if you don't pay. It's all done in private with a senior member of the church.

What does "beat the crap out of me" mean? The police won't care about how he is mentally or emotionally controlling you. Did he bruise you? Break your arm? Did he pin you down and hit you with a blunt object, or did he just slap you once?

Marriage in a secular society? It's worthless now, due to this country's complete lack of morals. 44% end up in divorce. The only place where marriage still means something is through a church and in front of God.

That actually sounds like a really great idea. What a thought! Thanks for the comments.

Yes, I've been a doormat. I don't put her on a pedestal. I put marriage and family up there, and I put everything I have into getting there. As a man, I don't avoid confrontation. If someone is rude to me, I let them know in a not so nice way. If someone rides my butt in traffic, I make sure to tell them they're number one. And if a guy tries to flirt with my girl, I intervene. But as a boyfriend, I avoid any and all confrontation.. I guess that set the standard, because when we do fight, she blows it way out of proportion. I've never talked to her in anything louder than a conversational tone. When I'm mad at her, I talk really quiet. I don't bring up the past and I never start fights. Sometimes when things are wrong, I look the other way. I think I am a very good boyfriend, except for this, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't buy everything because I have an ulterior motive to gain something from her. I was just raised that way. She pays for stuff as well. When I run out of money. Sad, I know. But she does offer. I always turn her down, probably from pride. She is the same way. Both of our families are very traditional. I think a man has a place that shouldn't change, to provide and protect. Those are our views, if it helps at all. There is such a fine line between being understanding and supportive and having self confidence and not letting women (or men) run all over you. I try my best to balance it. How do I tell her to stop doing this, and stick true to my plans if she doesn't, while at the same time trying to be supportive? I guess the proper term that people hipper than me use for a situation like this is "whipped". I am whipped.

So, what DID you get him for Christmas? Just kidding. It's a nice thought, but we both know he will never take the steps to get psychiatric help. I don't have any room to give advice on how to run a good relationship, so I'll do the right thing and give it anyway. The only thing you can do is tell him how you feel, and threaten to leave him if he can't pull himself out of "depression". What is so bad about his life that makes him so depressed?

Concur. The one who loves the most will give in to the whims of the least in order to maintain some sort of feeling of love.

I'm in serious need of a makeover. Not the kind where you put pickles and stuff on your eyes, but an internal makeover. A relationship one. Since they don't have any shows for this where a crew shows up at your house, I will ask on here. So, I will a little about who I am, my situation. Pick it apart, criticize me, call me names, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. If I can find a general consensus, then maybe it's me that's the problem, and not the fact that women can't commit! So anyway, here's a little bit about me. I'm in my early 20's. I'm in the military. I've been going to school on and off, but will finish a degree whenever I get back from my deployment. Good looking, hard working. I look like a typical meathead, military look, but I am soft spoken and articulate. I never get angry, or raise my voice. I have a decent job now and will have a good job when I come home. I have a good sense of humour. I'm not very humble. I'm very old fashioned. I can kill my own food, but also clean my own house. Very protective. I open doors for women and elderly. Pay for everything. I'm into the whole honor and integrity thing, which is why I'm in the military. I'm very passionate about relationships. I'm very loyal and would never even think about cheating, even in bad relationships. I put everything I have into them. I want a wife and kids more than anything. I never come off as desperate or aggressive. I take the relationship at the speed at which is most comfortable. So honestly, if you met a guy like this, would you want to keep him around? Here's my situation. My first relationship failed. It was 2.5 years. We were engaged and had a wedding date. But she couldn't handle commitment and cheated on me. The relationship I'm in now reached the point of both of us knowing without a doubt that we want to get married and have kids. Which is what I've been working for. So I buy a ring, and suddenly she tells me she still has feelings for the ex, and that they've been talking. She hasn't talked to him in months. So, I do the opposite of what I think I should do, I take the ring back and give her X amount of time to decide, before I break up with her completely. I am still with her, and told her I would do whatever I can to help her, but she doesn't have much time to decide. Normally, I would keep the ring, and cling on to hope. I'm a hopeless romantic. But this time, I'm trying this to see what happens. Am I wrong for doing this? Why can't women commit to me? Everything goes so perfectly until it comes time to do the deed. They like to talk and make plans and appear excited, but when it's time to do it, there's always an excuse. Why? All I want is a family. I want to meet a woman who is single, has no emotional baggage, who isn't crazy, and wants to fall in love and all that stuff some day. Do these women still exist??!?! Stereotypically, it's usually the women who fill my uncommitted shoes. What am I doing wrong?

I found out last night. Making a long story short, she still has feelings for the ex. They met up and "talked" for a few hours. So today, I took the day off work. I'm taking her ring back and getting my money back. It's a 2.5 hour drive. I also gave her an ultimatum. I'm getting deployed in a little over a month. I'm not even referring to knowing if she wants to get engaged, I'm talking about feelings in general. If she can't love only me, then I will walk away. Please, criticize my actions! What am I doing wrong? If it saves me going through this BS, it's worth hearing.

He killed him? How old is he? Are you guys married? Kids? I assume he just got arrested and is being held until bail is established. He will go to trial, so all is not lost. It sounds like he did a good thing to me. Were drugs or alcohol involved on anyone's part? The only advice I can give you is to support him through the trial, and help him find a damn good lawyer. If they convict him of second degree murder, something is wrong with our judicial system. It was a crime of passion. I'd do the same thing.

So my gf and I have been together awhile now. We are planning on getting engaged. We are both extremely excited. Well, we go out of town together and for a surprise I take her to a jewelry store to look at rings. I told her to pick 3. The next day I bought the one she picked out ($1900). We were both ecstatic. Well, I started ironing out my proposal plans, and one day out of the blue she says "I think we should wait". She won't give me a decent reason why. Her reasoning is "Well you just seem so stressed right now, I want to make sure this is right, and I want to pray and see if we're meant to be together." Well, I am a little stressed because money is tight, but I leave work at work, and treat her amazingly when I'm with her. It has little effect on my life, and almost none on hers So of course, I am furious. I just bought this beautiful ring, and I'm planning this thing, and she says this. I tell her, "don't you think you should have prayed and made sure before we planned this?". She told me she was sure before. Lately she's been distant. We used to email each other every day. I email her constantly, and I haven't received one back in months. She doesn't talk to me in depth like she used to. She is constantly moody. Fast forward to today. I go to see her at work. She tells me of her bad day. So I go and get her a little bear with some chocolate. Nothing elaborate. Well, two of her good friends were coming to see her too, to exchange Christmas presents. She invites me, so I show up, give her the bear. Well, she talks to them for an hour and says 10 words to me the entire time, literally. She puts the gifts form them on the table next to mine. They leave, and she grabs them. But she forgot mine. She laughs and jokes and smiles with her friends, but when she goes to say bye to me, she says "I love you. I'll call you when I'm off" with a flat face and no emotion. Well, she grabs all her gifts, except mine. She leaves it sitting on the table and walks off. Of course I'm hurt, and a little rejected, so I just pick up the bear, leave, and toss it in the trash on the way out. Overreacting, I know... But I can't help it. Am I looking into this too much, or is something lurking beneath the surface? We used to be different. I still have fun with her, but something is not right. Little things like this are always happening. It's never anything major, but it's just enough to give me a sense of foreboding. What's going on?

What exactly are you guys? Is she an American citizen in Indonesia? If so, let me know and I may be able to pass you along some info. The local American Embassy can help her if she is a citizen. Let me know.