Bignomis

Today is the 40th day’s NC. I hope you are happy somewhere without the better fish you told me before. Maybe ! I hope not. But I know you can date a girl even without real love. I had gave up my career for this relationship. And it meant nothing to you. One day, I hope, soon enough, you will realize that none loves you as I loved you. And that will be the day, I don’t give a damn about you anymore. The day you mean nothing to me. The day you tase your own medicine. Be happy and good luck ! Karma does exist.

day 4 I did not break NC but miss him so badly. I thought i am ok now but in fact i am not. I still got bump on my stomach when i think about her. Kept wondering if he is missed me even just a second . Wish all of this hurt is just a night mare.

day 2. Still think about him and miss him terribly at afternoon but still under control to don't break NC. Many things are still playing in my mind. many questions and wonder why does he never give me an clear BU. But have to deal with it. Hope for better day tomorrow.

Thanks Spawn. I am getting better every day and I think do meditation and listen to Buddhism help me a lot. I know nothing else I can do, just have to be patient and take time to heal. I have passed the hardest time I guess. I don't cry any more and don't cry in the morning when I fist wake up and wondring how is he doing? Where is he? If he is seeing someone now.... I know it is a good sign. More important is I have accepted that he is not here for me any more. Everything between us is over now. I think i have found the key to open a new door. Just i need more time to be ready for a new life.I know, with him or without him, I still have to live my life.

Day 1 Today is the 1st day of my challenge but it is 13th day i went into NC with him. I feel ok, less hurt, no cry at all. Before I just cried all day and night and sent him 4-5 emails every day. I still think about him but don't look at his photo or Whatsapp to see if he comes online. I spent a lot of time to read many advices from people here. I feel so stupid about that I wasted 4 months to try to contacted him with emails, whatsapp... I did not know that what I did only pushing him to run away from me. I were thinking that i wanted to show him how hard I want to try to fix our relationship. Totally stupid. After read a lot others stories then I am now in confusion. I know I should stay NC to move on and heal. I should do it for myself not to get him back. But in my mind I am so confused about that I am staying NC with him because I am losing love for him or I am still hanging myself on hope that after some months NC , he will start missing me and will come back to me. I even started to think that what will I do if he contact me again. I don't want to hang myself on this kind of hope. It's not good for me. I want to let him go completely and just live my life. I am also wondering that he had blocked my emails, phone number, FB....then I made a email to contact him but he did not block me. He read all my emails. Some he read 2, 3 times but just don't reply. He told me that he will never give me a second chance. He is over me, don't hurt any more and just want to live his life in peace without me. All of this he told me after I bombed him with tons of emails. He said that i am so selfish. I have to be patient until he wants to talk about things. I have to put my emotions trash together and swallow it down. I can tell him the way i want thing to happen but it doesn't mean he has to follow my way. So why does he still read my emails? Why he doesn't block my new email ? I don't want to keep wondering about it then it's holding me back from move on and heal. And it makes him stay in my mind longer. I wish I can know the answer then move on.But I know he will never give me answer.

Babe Today is 1 month and 24 days you are in NC with me. You ignored me completely. You blocked everything number I have sent you messages on WhatsApp. Today is also 13 days since I decided to went in NC. Are you ok ? Are you happier without me? Have you already found a better fish that you told me that there are many fish better in the ocean. Are you still in Thailand now ? Are you dating the girl you met in Thailand at New Year and spent couple days with her? You told me nothing serious with her but after stayed with her for few days make you know you are over me. I hope you are happy as you say. I know I hurt you so badly. I wish it is true that you told me you don’t hurt anymore. I am doing ok. Much better than before. Now I’m feeling I am so stupid to waste 4 months to sent you emails , messages to beg you for another chance. I feel less hurt every day passed by but I still miss you. I hope you are happy and have peace life as you told me that you just want to live your life in peace without me. You will have it all. I will not come in to your life again and I hope you will never come into my life again either. Stay good babe ! Still love you but it’s over !!

Hello guys I am new here and i have read many others stories to find the way for myself to go through BU. I have been a dumper then he wanted to have a second chance with me. But i were confused too long as he told me so he decided to move on for good. It happened since Jan. And I have been really crazy to emails him, sent text, videos to beg , ask, for other chance explain my feeling, remind about how happy we were together, angry with him...all emotional stuffs. First he still answered because I were still staying in our flat. Then since I moved out he was completely into NC and only answer to my emails every few weeks. Now He kept blocking my Whatssap , FB , number ....when I tried to contact him. He said that email is the only way i can contact him.Then I sent him few emails every day. I tracked it and I know he read every single email I sent to him but no reply, of course. After 7 weeks NC from him( i still sent him emails everyday). He sent me an email to say that he is doing good and he has moved out of the flat.( We used to live together.) he asked me again to stop talking about our long gone relationship. 6 weeks since he sent me last email I still sent him few emails every day. I still read it and yeah no reply as normal. So today is 13th day I have stopped sending him emails. i found out that at 5th day after I go in to NC and don't send him any email , he opened and read the last email i sent to him. I still feel it is so hard to not look at his photos and whatssap to see if he comes online, just to know that he is still there. So i hope this challenge will help me move on and don't look at his photo any more. Hope you guys stay strong and heal soon. i will update my 1st day tomorrow.