l0stNc0nfuzzLed

well none of us have kept contact since that day. hell, before he "broke up" with me, he ignored me for 4 days straight. i pretty much waited til he got out of work and went to his place. that was probably the only way to get him to talk.

i'm kind of in the same situation right now. can someone help me out? i mean, since the break up (like, on tuesday) i didn't attempt to or was even tempted to contact him. and of course he hasn't contacted me. but all of a sudden i want to call him, to contact him. what should i do? the answer seems obvious, but how come all of a sudden i want to contact him when this whole time i never tried, or wanted to?

drinking makes me feel good, period. there was only one or two occasion where i was all crying and depressed because of the events that were happening at the time. but normally, i'm all happy and loud and obnoxious, in a good fun way. but after what my ex pulled, i wanted to drink to numb the pain. i haven't had the chance yet (i'm going to party hard tomorrow) but my friend said that's a bad thing. at least the reason why i'm drinking. my friend thinks he knows everything, but he said that's how alcoholism starts. you connect an emotion to alcohol and everytime you feel that emotino, you drink. in other words, if i drink everytime i feel depressed, i will depend on it every time i am depressed. it makes sense, but i dont know.

well i hope you're right that it's normal. and that maybe eventually i'd stop doing it.

and also, back to the whole "am i not letting myself heal?" thing. i think i might have not explained it correctly in the initial post. it's like this. i realized i've been better these past 2 days. but the thing is, when i AM better, when i say to myself, and acknowledge that i'll be okay, i can get over him, and i know this, i try to make myself miserable. i'd say and realize "you know what? i'm alright." and in that instance, i'd think about him because i want to cry, and feel pain and want to wish that he would take me back. why? i dont understand. are you sure this is part of the healing process?

all situations are different, but i don't believe two people can be just friends after they broke up, especially if it was a strong relationship and even one, if not both partners is still attached and having feelings. to be just friends, there needs to be a separation period where there's no contact and where the feelings dissipate. because i dont think you're being a bad friend. you still having feelings for him and you're use to staying in contact with him and you want to keep that connection. i was like that with my ex. we broke up on mutual terms but still remained friends, hung out and stuff, and when he got a new girlfriend, his girlfriend didn't like me calling him so much and stuff. and he didn't call me much either. the contact between us suddenly dropped tremedously, almost like a bad break up. but i kept saying "our friendship is one-sided. he's not doing his part as a friend, blah blah blah" but in reality, i wasn't over him. that's what it was. you need to cut off communication with him until you're okay to become just friends with him.

well it's not that he had no friends per say because he does, but on myspace, he doesn't have anyone on his friends list. not even tom. he didn't even add his sister. i guess he didn't want the girls he was messaging, including me to know much about him except for whatever he was feeding me.

i think thats cool, but i'm in a similar situation. i want my ex to feel my pain, i want him hurt, but i want to see it, and know it. but of course that would never happen. it's not like we have mutual friends or anything.

yeah. there were times where i wanted to get back with my and at the time when i said i'd do anything to fix it, but it didn't include death, though at the time i was going to ditch my friends for him and thank goodness i didn't do it. but sometimes people can get desperate. i know from first hand experience. i mean you mentioned her dad's abusive and her mom's somewhere else, so maybe you're the only other person she has, so that's why she is the way she is. but you can't sacrifice your happiness for someone else's. though if you did leave her and she did hurt/kill herself, i know you will prob ably have a guilty conscious and would beat yourself up because you could have prevented it, despite the fact you don't want to be with her anymore and find her annoying. but what would i do if i was in that situation? i really don't know. but the others made some good suggestions. slowly limit your contact with her and try to find her help.

i'm trying. i'm really trying. and funny you mention internet strangers because i met him off of myspace. and when i saw in his profile that he has no friends, that should have said something.

yeah i know you want her to feel pain, to go through what she did to you. but if she's really not worth it a penny, then don't even waste your time with that. let karma do it's job. just forget her and move on with your life.

i guess. but i dont learn. this is the third time he's broke up with me but this time, it's for good. and if right now he wanted to take me back, i'd run back into his arms in a second. i know it. and it's like, i don't want other men. i just want him. because he makes me happy.

my friends tell me that, and i try to be mad at him, but i try to justify everything he did. he really made me happy despite the stuff that he did. i love being with him. i love spending time with him, especially in the beginning. he would do all these things that made me smile. i can't help but think back on those things. i want nothing more but to just be in his arms.

well honestly, i feel he probably isn't hurting from the way he broke up with me. he ignored me for 4 days and i had to pretty much hunt him down to find out what the hell is going on. he told me reasons whether they really were or not why he wants to end it. he even said he wasn't sure if he was ever going to contact me or not if i didn't go look for him. and after the talk, he expectd me to give him some sex. and he acted like everything is okay. like i said, i like to believe alot of things. i like to believe that the way he acted was just a mask and he really feels guilty and he's hurting and he also wishes to patch things up.

well whether this girl is the one or not, it's good it's helping you move on.