magpie

your answer depends soely on who you ask. but let me just let you know that from the couples that i have known, where pot is a center piece in the lifestyle, they dont end up all that happy in the end. but i think it depends on a few things. 1) why does this person smoke all the time? some smoke bc it helps them to distance themselves from themselves (past problems, current problems, etc). if this is the case, you will prob. not ever get far, and not because of the pot, but because this sort of person had emotional issues. 2) does this person have a care-free and care-less attitude about life in general, or is pot smoking the only way they exhibit this? again, if its that the person is careless and carefree about nearly everything, it probably wont go that far. to these sorts, life is often just a series of distractions and "good times" and they dont put much stock into deeper meanings. relationships need deeper meanings or they fizzle out. anyhow, it depends ENTIRELY on the person, their motives, and their outlook on life. some things to look for: 1) does this person have goals? 2) do they self-motivated enough to accomplish those goals? 3) do they skate through all, or nearly all aspects of life? if those anwers are yes, you probably wont get far. again, its not because of the pot, but because of the type of person. only a certain type can become a true pothead. the "lazy skater (not like skate boarder) i dont give a crap" sort. and those are the types, that regardless of whether or not they are smokers, drinkers, or iv drug users, that are not in the place to MAINTAIN a serious relationship. and most of what keeps people together is the ability to maintain.

get good at oral sex. honestly, if its that short, and if its not all that thick, your partner wont be satisfied from intercourse alone. but here is some good news...approx half of all women, if not a bit more, are unable to achieve orgasm from intercourse alone. so, to really satisfy a woman, one must do more than stick it in and wiggle it around (hehe.) be open for experimentation and adventure in the sex arena. its this openness and some oral skills that will get you the bonus points.

being a woman, i can tell you that after what you have just said, i would not go back to you. and i dont think i know a single woman who would. you asked her best friend for a hand job? my god, man, you are lucky she didnt castrate you when she finally found out! IF it happens, id guess a fair bit of time is going to have to pass. like months or years. its one thing to find your girlfrineds best friend attractive, to masturbate to their image, but to ask for a hand job and grab at her ass and tits! now that takes it to a whole other level.

ive a question... why do people often not listen to their own insights about themselves and human nature? i ask becuase since my boyfriend broke up with me, i have always felt it was becuase he had allowed himself to get freaked out by being in a relationship. anyhow, we were chatting recently and he let me in on a secret: he has a live journal. so i went to the url and read what he had to say. something really struck me. it was written in 2001. he said that people often want relationships, but that when they get them they fail because they allow themselves to become tangled in confusion after the reality of a relationship settles in, and its no longer the fantasy. that a real relationship is not your dream (because in your dream everything is perfect, and the other person is by no means a real person with an identity, likes, wants, etc). he went on to say that this causes people who love one another and who should be together to be pulled apart, as the one experiencing the reality crash allows themselves to lose the spark. anyhow, this is EXACTALLY what happened to us. 2 years ago he predicted what would happen. anyhow, what i want to know is how someone can realize something about their own nature and then ignore it, like it was never realized before. he seems to do this often, but this one really struck me.

thats horrible! if she has a boyfriend, STAY OUT. be her friend, but nothing more. if it will be, it will happen in time. think about it this way. would you want someone following those suggestions to get YOUR girl. absolutely not!

lifestyle sounds good to me! a good friend of mine is a social worker, and the condoms that they provide to their clients are lifestyle. so, if they are saying "hey, use these to prevent STDs and HIV" (they work with a predominantly gay community, so no pregnancy problems!!) id have to say they are a good choice. and, i think they are actually a bit cheaper???

any sort of latex condom should work. its important that you use it properly, so practice on yourself when you are masturbating. make sure you can get it on securely, make sure it fits right (they do make some of different sizes), etc. if you have any doubts, id go to the local planned parenthood and ask for someone to show you the right way to use it, making sure there is enough slack, etc. but, i doubt you will need to do this! and an important thing to remember is to PULL OUT WHEN YOU COME. if you like to remain inside of your partner, or if your partner likes you to remain inside of her, only do so for a moment. when you wait, your penis shrinks back to normal size, making it so the condom can slip off easily and get "lost" inside of your partner. this is not good, as it means your semen will end up roaming free inside of her! also, i would suggest that she also get on the pill. condoms are effective, but not 100% so. if you are in a relationship with steady sex, its just a smart idea to be 100% safe. you are both really young, too young for any mistakes. many people would probably preach abstinance to you, but im a realist and sex is a reality. but, so is teenage pregnancy. anyhow, your girlfriend should be able to get info on the pill at a planned parenthood. im not sure what the state statutes are where you live, but hopefully they will allow someone of her age to get bithcontrol without having to inform her parents. bc, like most teenage girls, im sure her parents have NO CLUE she is sexually active, and probably would flip. good luck!

i disagree. a child is a TON of responsibility. if you want true freedom and are not ready to settle down yet, having a child could be a terrible mistake. being a parent is easy. being a GOOD parent is difficult, and if you are not in the right frame of mind, its easy to screw it up. just look around you and you'll see what i mean. people yelling at their kids, taking out their resentment on their kids, grown kids all messed up because their parents did that to them. not that you would do that. im just saying that unless you are ready, and if you already have reservations, dont go there. not till you are 110% sure its what you want. ive seen great couples break up over this. if one wants children and the other doesnt, it can be a HUGE problem. but, i would let HER make that choice (decide if its such a huge deal that she is willing to move on over it). if you love her, and if she loves you, give it time. marriage should be about expressing your love, and if you can express your love and commitment without all the legal crap, go for it. maybe you could compromise. have a ceremony for your close friends and loved ones where you do just that: express your love for one another. isnt that what the big thing about marriage is supposed to be, anyway? it wasnt until fairly recently that one had to sign legal documents as part of the ceremony. you can be "married" in your hearts and in the eyes of your friends without having to also be married in a court of law.

DONT DO IT! NOT YET!! it takes a while to reduce a love to merely a friend level. sometimes, it cant even be done. when you feel empty and alone in the end, is it worth it? no. whats going to happen when he starts to date someone else if you allow yourself to still hold on? you will be hurt even more. ive been there, and its really hard. your lover becomes your best friend. when you lose the love, the relationship, the commitment, you lose it all. and after time, after healing, THEN you can rebuild things. the way i said it last night to my ex, who wants to be my "special friend, more than just a friend" is this: "you took something valuable away. you cant just take something that means so much and replace it with something less and expect me to be fine about it." and its true. the trust and love that you experienced was friendship times 10,000. you cant just expect to take it all away and have the other be fine. you lost something important. you need time to heal. so get upset. get angry. cry your eyes out. and in the end, when you feel like you are on solid ground again, then be his friend. he has hurt you, the last thing you need to is to depend on him to fix you.

where you are headed depends soely on you-your wife-and communication between the two of you. you feel you lack confidence with women. you married not out of undying love or commitment, but because it was your only option to keep things going. you need to have this talk with her. you need to explain where you are. and she needs to see where she is herself. maybe she will be open to extramarital sex. maybe not. but either way she has the right to know and the right to tell you what her feelings are on the issue. some people function well in open relationships, others dont. but, you must discuss things with her!

i think its LUST at first sight, LOVE later. love is deeper. its not about whether or not someone is attractive physically or if they have cool style, awesome demeanor, etc. its more about whats below the surface, what you dont know right away. the true beauty of people is below the surface...for everyone, not just plain or unattractive persons. but, LUST can lead to LOVE...admittedly, we are more apt to find out whats below the surface on someone whose surface is pretty fine to look at.

hey...hope you are feeling better right now. anyhow, my suggestion is to TALK TO HER. these are very deeply rooted issues, and its HIGHLY IMPORTANT that you communicate with her openly and honestly. its not possible to just overcome issues that are deeply seeded in us. so, talk to her about your feelings and your past. and, although many people find it taboo, though it should not be, you may want to consider councelling. your fears and jealously and insecurities are poision to you and anything you touch. until they are faced and overcome, you will continue to feel the anxiety that you feel now. relationships grow and become stronger, yes, but in order to grow there needs to be proper nourishing. and its hard to provide that whenyou are coming from a place with a lot of baggage.

call a clinic or obgyn IMMEDIATELY. im pretty confident that if you are pregnant, you would not be having symptoms yet. you would not even be 5 days along! lets say that conception did occur on the 9th, implantation wouldnt occur till a few days later. and its the implantaion that causes the hormonal changes that trigger pregnancy symptoms, not the conception itself. either way, there is something wrong with your body right now, and you should get it figured out. and WHY ARE YOU NOT ON BIRTH CONTROL? you are playing with fire to be sexually active without it. even in couples who use condoms EVERY TIME, 30% of the women will become pregnant during the course of one year. I think its something like 70-80%% of all women who have unprotected sex every time will become pregnant. This is compared to 1% of all women who use hormonal birth control, and use it properly. there are other options than the pill. there is the nuva ring, which you insert once for three weeks and remove for one, and insert another at the beginning of the 5th week. there is also the bc patch (name??) that is the same. on for three weeks, off for one, new one for three weeks, etc. and the good thing about the pill, the nuva ring, and the patch is that your hormones are regulated so that you have a regular period. none if this worry, and a body that actually functions as it should.

i can see your frustration. i was in a similar situation recently, except i saw no harm in my boyfriend hanging out with this female friend, i felt our connection was great and that there was no harm. HAHA! now we are no longer together and he is sleeping with her. not to freak you out. but i guess the moral of the story is trust your instincts and be honest with yourself. dont say to yourself "im going to be the better person and give a nod of approval" if you really dont feel like it. tell your girlfriend how you feel. if she still is insistant that she maintain a personal one-on-one friendship with this person, then you need to ask why? i would love to say trust her, but its not that easy. people are attracted to temptation, challenge. and its so easy to cross the line without knowig it was crossed. i mean, if this guy kisses her neck when shes not expecting it, how will she react? what will this bring up in her? its hard to tell. she may not even know at this point. i guess all i can really say is that whatever will be, will be. if she is going to fall into temptation, it will happen eventually, and whether or not you even know of this other person. life is full of temptation, and i guess one of our challenges is to find someone who through thick and thin will resist. and again, the only way to know this is through time. but a good indicator is found in asking yourself this..."if she KNOWS that this person is interested and that you are uncomfortable about the situation, does she respect you and your relationship to just let it be?" she owes her commitment and affections to YOU, not a new friend.

im sorry. the other two posts seem to feed negative self feelings. so, ill propose something else... if alcohol was such a problem that it broke up the 4 yrear relationship that you two had, i SERIOUSLY DOUBT hes going to "just quit" for some other woman. he probably says he will quit. im sure that there were points in your relationship when he said this. but alcohol for those with issues is an evil demon that doesnt just go away. its a serious problem that requires, in most people, various phases and attempts and phases of attempts to finally beat. anyhow, i agree that 2.5 weeks is really fast to move on. i dont have anything i can really tell you about that, other than the fact that if you sit patiently, you are pretty much guaranteed to see his new relationship fail. he obviously has a lot of baggage, and i cant forsee anyone coming straight out of a long term relationship with that sort of baggage just picking up and starting over with out any hitches. recovering from a relationship can be likened to recovering from an addiction. you will also go through many phases before you are finally ready to just move on. the only way i can see this NOT happening is if those phases were already passed through while you were still together. either way, its a tough time to be in your life. just remember to breathe and get a voodoo doll if you must (hehe).