smsu06

Yeah I think that is the current problem and the right solution at this time. Thanks for the post and the luck chigal28.

If he is not willing to work out the problems with you, than both of you would not be collaborating and the scenario stated in flower99 post would most surely happen. Once you know if the problems are fixable or not, then you will know what you need to do next.

I agree with RayKay on this one. You need to find out if these problems are fixable or not. If they are fixable, both of you need to work together on them. If the problems are not fixable, well then you two might not be compatible.

It seems like you have a lot to think about in your current situation. However, I do believe you need to start communicating your problems with your current boyfriend. It seems like you are too nervous of being too critical to solve the underlying problems of your relationship. You should solve these problems with your boyfriend if you want it to work out. I would suggest on having more of a collaborating approach to solving these problems. Try and let him pinpoint what is causing the problems and how both of you can try and fix it. If you just go and tell him what he is doing wrong all the time, he might resent you and a fight will be close behind.

It sounds like you either have to give in on every argument or continue a huge fight since he won’t back down. Unless you like accommodating everything for him without him comprising, I don't see how you can be happy long-term.

Yeah, I understand she is insecure, I just don't know why she would be that way. Just to continue because I think there is a more of an underlying problem now; she also keeps telling me the following on the phone: "You're just going to leave me anyway", "You're too good for me", "I don't want to hold you back", and "I don't want to be your mistake". It's weird because she only says this when we are on the phone with each other. When we are actually together on the weekends and during school, there are no problems like this at all. We have a blast when we are together. It just frustrates me, because I don't want to leave her.

Is his job the only area in his life where he is spoiled, or does he expect to be treated that way in all/most situations?

Yeah that does sound remarkably similar to this situation, except she is not trying to make me gain weight. She is very self conscious sometimes, and I just don't understand why.

No you are not being ridiculous, and I think motivation is the big thing he is missing. Other than sleeping what is he most interested in or what does he enjoys doing?

Yeah, I am in 100% agreement with you "RayKay" on how to approach this. My gf thinks she is overweight, but she really isn't. So I will continue to diet and show her I still love her, because I think that is all I can really do in this situation.

-Scout I should have mentioned it before, but in high school I weighed 300 lbs when I played football and then I brought it down to 220 in college. My current weight two years later is at 250, so I just want to get at least back down to 220. Like I said it is all health related, it becomes hard to lose weight the older you get, so I figured I do it now.

Yeah Maggie, I told her about my family history. Currently I am taking summer classes at my college which is three hours away from her internship. We have hanged out with each other on most weekends during this summer. Even though it would be hard for us to directly workout together, I did suggest having a pact with each other to work out everyday and eat healthy on our own, but she did not seem too excited about the idea.

Thanks for the quick responses. Yeah I agree. I know I'm doing it for the right reasons so I will continue on my diet. However, it does concern me that she would think that I would have ulterior motives in trying to lose weight.

Hi everybody, first-time post. Currently I have been going out with this great girl from my college for almost two months now. About a week ago I told her I started to go on a diet to try to lose the weight I put on in the spring. I became surprised on how much she was not in favor of me doing this. She says the following on why I shouldn't go on a diet, "I like you the way you are, because I am not attracted to sticks", "this put a lot of pressure on me to lose weight", and "I don't see you why you are motivated to do this". In all honesty I didn't think this would have been a hot button issue, but she seems really concerned that I'm looking to lose weight. My real motivation in this matter is all health related because my family has a history of diabetes, and I use to be a lot bigger then I am now, so I want to keep my weight under control. I tried to tell her this, but she still doesn't want me to focus on it. Should I back off on the idea for a bit, or is there a better way to explain why I want to lose weight?