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Foofadoo

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  1. I was doing... ok. Not great, but ok, sometimes not thinking about you so much. I had a date with someone and was even a little excited about it - but I wasn't attracted to him, and I went right back to wondering whether I'll ever be attracted to anyone but you, and why you had to end it when we could have been good together. And then last night I dreamt that you drunkenly texted me a novel-length apology for getting scared and screwing up something good, and that you wished that you hadn't. I don't think you ever said the words let's get back together, but it was implied, and I was thinking of how to respond... and then I woke up. And for a horrible long 5 seconds I didn't realize that it wasn't real. I've cried today more than I have in several weeks. I hate all of this. Also, I'm genuinely worried if you're ok. You won't actually tell me what you're depressed about, though you've dropped some hints. It doesn't seem you were ever upset about ending things with me, but maybe you just refuse to tell me. Maybe you don't even know. Please go back to therapy, there are a lot of things you need to sort out and you can't do it on your own. I hope that someday, when I can stand to be friends with you again, I can lead by example in this area.
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