TeeDee

You know what to do. You just don't want to. You break up with him because he wants things you, a woman, can't give him. Unless you want an open marriage where he's off having sex with strange men, you can marry this guy. You also need to get an STD test immediately

The only thing that means you are exclusive is when the two of you talk about the relationship & verbally mutually agree to exclusive. Hand holding, cheek kisses, daily texts & even sex have nothing to do with exclusivity. After 4 months the idea that you will find it awkward to talk to him about the relationship tells me there are communication issues in here. If you aren't comfortable enough to talk., what exactly is your relationship based on?

I don't know that your luck has been bad. I think you make some questionable decisions. You are already far too emotionally invested in a long distance person you haven't met & don't know. The fact that you set your match range so broadly is a questionable choice. Dating locally & conventionally seems wiser to me. You haven't met but you are dreaming of monthly dates and having her move back to your state. You seriously need to slow down.

You owe her honesty, not marriage. Make a pros & cons list. Speak to an attorney on your own about a pre nup & and estate plan. Decide what you want. If you don't want to marry, don't. Do talk to her about her financial expectations if you are going to marry. If she can't control her spending & her bookkeeping she could bankrupt you. If you decide you don't want to marry tell her that & respect whatever decision she makes even if that is to break up & move out.

You really need to keep your expectations in check. Make sure she's staying somewhere other than your house. If she's flying in you can meet her at the airport but do not expect to be asked up to her hotel room. Decide in advance if you two will spend her arrival day together or if she will need time to decompress. Plan some public day time activities.

You have been doing this -- whatever this is -- for many years but never met? The guy is a time waster. Stop engaging with him. Things will never improve. What label you put on it doesn't matter. He's never going to show up in real life & be a good partner. Going forward, date locally & meet quickly. Then & only then can you start to invest.

You were attracted to her because she was mysterious & exotic. However, you never really got to know her. The language barrier was too much. Please accept my condolences about the loss of your mom. You have this job you love. Focus on that blessing. Love will find you.

Yes, you are totally over thinking things. You matched on an app. You haven't even met yet & you are talking about exclusivity & making thinks official. Just NO. It's all too fast & completely unrealistic. The apps don't mean anything. Who somebody is on a dating app may have no bearing on who they are in real life. You have to stop building this up in your mind & go meet in person. Remember a 1st meet is NOT a first date. All the talking & texting & whatever else before you meet in person is meaningless. Nothing counts until you meet. It's all just a figment of your imagination, a fantasy at this point. Slow down. You two don't even know each other. Getting to know somebody takes time. It's more than a few texts or conversations. It's watching how they behave; seeing how they are under pressure,, laughing together and crying together. Go meet. Keep it short & light, under a hour, in a well lit place with minimal alcohol. You two are strangers. A few texts & conversations are no substitute for in person interactions. You need time to assess the quality of your interactions not just the number of texts you exchange. If that meet goes well then you can schedule an actual date. After you have dated for a while -- at least a month, meaning at least 4 in person dates -- then you can talk about being official. To be exclusive or official now before you even met tells me you are going waaayyyyyy tooo fast & will burn out because nothing you are doing in grounded in reality. It sounds like you are a love bomber who does not move prudently or cautiously. You are going to end up sorely disappointed if you don't slow down.

How would we know? She is the only one who knows. If she won't talk to you, that is an unsurmountable problem.

All the examples you seem to have given were friends or purely social situations. There you do need more boundaries. If anybody mentions anything about your body in a professional business event they should be firmly & immediately scolded & told such comments are unwelcome & they will be reported to HR if it ever happens again. Make a note somewhere of their names, the location, & who else was present. Then do immediately go to HR if it happens again.

I have found over the years that many people mis-read any attention from an opposite sex person as romantic attraction. Friendly to some people is light flirting. Especially in the work place absent an overt specific request for a date, my advice is don't assume. Be cordial going forward but otherwise just do your job.

It sounds professional not romantic.

You didn't make a mistake. You had a relationship. You are now seeing that this is not your forever relationship. End things. Take some time to heal. Talk to your parents. Let them work with you to find a better relationship that they approve of. Meanwhile focus on your studies.

I think you should assume he was being cordial. You are new to the company & it was coffee during work hours. I would assume that was about work not romantic interest. If he or anybody else invites you to get drinks with the team after work, I think you should go. I get that you feel nervous when you don't know many people but the way you get to know people is to show up at events like this. Networking is a skill. It's one everyone needs to master if they hope to advance in their careers & life. You go & have 1 drink. You talk shop maybe some superficial small talk. Do not get into anything deeply personal. Have no more than 2 alcoholic drinks (fewer is better). Smile. Ask Questions. Listen more than you talk. Don't be the 1st to leave but not the last either.

It's definitely not love. It's more like an unhealthy obsession. You would do well to exercise more self control. Tell your sibling that you don't want to hear about this person. Find more constructive uses of your time.