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oli123

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  1. I (27F) started a new job 6 months ago, but am now wondering how to deal with the feelings I have developed for a male colleague who has become a close friend. We clicked instantly and have the same sense of humour, so we began to spend time together outside of the office, just us two. When we first met, I was on the dating scene and navigating the online dating highs and lows, whilst he was (and still is) single and waiting for the right person to come along. I am now in the early stages of a relationship but feel that, despite my partner's best efforts, something is missing. My colleague often asks how things are between me and my partner, and I've noticed that he's been getting more tactile (poking me in the ribs, touching my nose to "annoy" me). Various people at the workplace have asked if we are together and he jokes about them being "happy for us." We both have said how we haven't ever met anyone with whom we've had such an instant connection so, whatever our relationship is, it feels special. I have always applied a strict "no dating at the office" rule, and I think this should be the same, especially given the small size of the company. However, how is the best way to deal with such a situation? Any ideas?
  2. I've just met someone via a dating app and we've been on a few dates. We get on very well, have shared values and there is a lot of chemistry, but he happened to mention that he had just got out of a 6.5-year relationship (after ongoing issues for a couple of years in the relationship, she broke up with him a month ago and moved out of the city). We were both open about our dating history and I mentioned that I had been through a bad break-up last year and that I am keen to find the right person this time for something long-term. After that date, I sent him a message saying that I wasn't sure that we were both looking for the same thing and that I wondered if it was too soon for him, so perhaps we should stop seeing each other. I said that casual relationships didn't make me feel fulfilled and I thought that was perhaps more what he was looking for. He said he understood my being hesitant given my recent break-up, but that I shouldn't worry because he thought we were on the same wavelength: he isn't sure it's really "as casual as that," he likes me and the time we spend together is great. He said things are well and truly over with his ex and that if we cease being on the same wavelength, we can just stop seeing each other so we should "go with the flow." He has since gone out of his way to come and see me, not just for "Netflix and chill," but I'm unsure whether to take it slow and give it a chance, or to cut it off now to avoid any misunderstandings later down the line. Any advice please?
  3. Though he does show his commitment in other ways (moving in, planning things in the future like refurbishing a place), I would tend to agree with you. No, it's not the same person.
  4. My boyfriend (27) and I (25) have been together for 2 years and are currently living together in France. He has been told by his boss that they'd like to send him to Montreal for a year or so for work: he still has to do interviews, but it's looking pretty favourable towards him. Our relationship has been pretty solid despite COVID restrictions, but I don't want to go long-distance. His sister lives in Canada (albeit an 8-hour drive from Montreal), but I don't know anyone out there and have never been. He's asked me to go with him if he goes, but I'm unsure for a couple of reasons. My career wouldn't be affected so much, since I was looking to change jobs at the end of my current contract anyway. My main issues are the following: 1) Will we have animosity towards one another for having moved over there (or having stayed here if he chooses not to go) if things don't turn out? This could possibly cause us to go our separate ways anyway. 2) He is a home bird and, on going to Montreal the other month, said he didn't really picture himself living there. 3) Like many others, he is unable to commit to saying that he wants to be with me forever. It's fine usually, but when you're putting all your eggs in one basket, it's nice to know that you are doing it for someone who's on the same page as you. He just says that he hasn't wanted to be with anyone else since we started dating and doesn't know what he'd do without what we have: we plan the future together but he's unable to say I'm "the one" for him since "no one can ever say for certain what will happen, so it would be lying to say that it will definitely happen." 4) There's no guarantee he'd only go for a year. I'm feeling very conflicted. Does anyone have any advice?
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