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Cherylyn

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Cherylyn last won the day on February 21 2023

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Community Answers

  1. I'm not insecure. I enjoy talking but I'm mindful not to monopolize conversations. I don't interrupt either. I make sure there's back 'n forth dialogue with whomever I'm engaging in a conversation with. I enjoy conversing with others but I do NOT like people talking over me, cutting my sentences off, finishing my sentences, assuming what I'm thinking or about to say, gaslighting me by throwing me off track, trying to confuse me, controlling the narrative, expecting me to conform to them, changing the subject or any of those typical, old tricks. I enjoy talking but I give courtesy to the listener and give him or her a chance to be fully invested in the conversation, too. I've known people to be conversation hogs to the point where they don't come up for air. You can't get a word in edgewise. I tend to avoid those types like the plague. 😑 Even though I enjoy talking, there's an art to it. I make sure it's not all about me. I ask the other person a lot of questions, make it about them and I enjoy listening to them and hear what they have to say. At this point, I let them talk because it's less work for me. Suits me just fine, too. πŸ˜‰
  2. For me, personally, I prefer exclusivity. My husband feels the same. It's been this way ever since we started dating, our courtship, marriage, all of it. We wouldn't have it any other way. Commitment is a beautiful thing if both people are on the same page. ❀️ As for you, as long as there is mutual understanding regarding what both of you want to do and communication is clear, go for it. πŸ‘
  3. You have choices. Volunteer elsewhere. Or, continue volunteering where you are, maintain a very cautious, safe distance with those who talk badly behind your back and carry yourself with dignity. If it's too uncomfortable for you, if I were you, I wouldn't be with people who are unkind. Enforce strong boundaries.
  4. If you decide to give her a humble apology preferably in person, make sure you change for the better without repeated mistakes otherwise your apology is perceived as insincere. I've had some people give me apologies without any intentions to change whatsoever. The only reason why they gave a fake apology was to keep me as their utility and then an empty relationship resumed as the norm all over again which was most infuriating. πŸ˜’ ☹️
  5. After she's finished working and perhaps after her daughter's birthday, she will hopefully have the time and brain space to express how she feels towards you. Just make sure both of you are on the same page and proceed from there whether a relationship or strictly friendship. If she wants a relationship with you, great and if she prefers friendship with you, simply switch gears and readjust so you will treat her as a friend and no more. Hopefully both of you will be mature and can handle this situation either way. Keep in mind she is a mother. I'm a mother so I know how time, energy and focus are limited outside family priorities. As long as you're realistic whether with a relationship or friendship, you will be fine. πŸ™‚
  6. Since she ghosted you for 4+ months, no, you don't owe her an explanation. She never explained herself to you for 4+ months, so why should you? πŸ™„ πŸ˜’ Block and delete her everywhere. Carry on and continue moving on . . . πŸ™‚
  7. Often times, people exit the relationship if there are bad memories associated with arguments, insults, deceit, betrayal, offenses or any of that. They don't wish to risk repeats of uncomfortable or infuriating scenarios. It's easier to dissolve relationships than take chances at situations going awry again. ☹️ Most people are risk adverse. They prefer to move forward instead of going backwards and experiencing pain in the future. It's universal human nature.
  8. If you want to get to know a person, look to his or her friends because this determines what his or her criteria is regarding values and what is important or unimportant to them regarding personality and character. Pay close attention to a person's discernment because this affects your relationship or friendship with them. If a person surrounds themselves with great, very honorable, moral and decent people, this is a telltale sign that this person prefers high quality individuals in their life. If a person socializes with subpar characters, then he or she has low standards in people.
  9. No, second chances. He'll only repeat his same patterns all over again which wastes everyone's time. ☹️
  10. Yes, ask her out. You won't know until you ask.
  11. Have an in depth, in person conversation with her. Discuss what is expected in this friendship or if both of you agree or disagree to go further into relationship mode. Make sure there are clear boundaries from both sides without any misunderstandings whatsoever. The true measure of all friendships or relationships is to have those heavy duty, hard and uncomfortable conversations with each other as opposed to playing guessing games or merely sustaining shallow and superficial small talk. Whenever people are uncomfortable, dismissive or have a total disregard for serious conversations, this is a sign and red flag informing you that clear communication is a big problem. I've known people who are nice as long as you're extremely careful with what not to say and what to say. Guarded dynamics feel very controlling to the point of unnatural. Sooner or later, these types of friendships or relationships are doomed for failure. It's only a matter of time. Have a talk with her and let that be your guide meaning whether or not the friendship was meant to endure. It's a good test so both sides won't waste each others time and energy.
  12. Sincerely apologize, continue changing for the better and it's all you can do. She should accept your apology and you can prove to her that you will try your best to improve from this day forward. I've always felt that if a person humbly apologizes in order to make amends and heal the relationship, this is a good sign towards recovery. Both sides can breathe a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, most people will never apologize because they either don't care, in denial, become enraged if they're shamed or confronted and it's all downhill from there. ☹️ Those types of relationships are doomed to disintegrate. πŸ˜’ I commend you for having a conscience. This world would be a better place if more people thought of what they had done and took responsibility for it.
  13. Happy Belated Birthday! I'm sorry for your hurts. I've found that whenever I feel down and depressed, I'll put myself aside and do something for someone else such as those who are less fortunate than I am or the disadvantaged. I'll do some type of community service and my spirits are lifted. There are so many people who need you. When you help them in your own way, you'll feel grateful no matter what. If that's not possible, do something special for yourself such as pampering yourself or do something indulgent. Or, gather your friends and tell them that you'd like to go out with them such as dinner or something like that because you want to celebrate your belated birthday. Tell them not to bring a gift and everyone can pay their own way. Be bold and just do it. Sometimes friends need a nudge to get them moving and to get them to do something enjoyable together.
  14. Tell the truth. You will determine if he's for you long term dependent on his reactions.
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