MrMan1983

Pretty much in a nutshell, a lot of people have a lot of one and done dates with some of them being seemingly pleasant nights yet don't lead to a second. People on here will know I've had similar situations where I thought a date went amazing even where the women has initiated a passionate kiss goodbye to then be told they did not feel enough of a spark after. So unfortunately it's pretty common, just try not to take it too personally. Understand that it's disheartening though when you feel like you've had a great date. Agree with Yogacat probably didn't need to apologise but good to make it clear you respect her boundaries and if she warms up with contact again best you can do is suggest another date idea and if it's a negative response move on.

I think it's a balance, I chat enough to know there's potential there and some general things in common, also that they're not as dull as a dishwasher then will try and set the date otherwise you run the risk of using up too much of your convo and getting to know too much about someone before even meeting, where's the fun in that. Plus developing some sort of connection before even meeting face to face is a recipe for wasting your own time in a lot of cases.

Yes I love speaking with couples who have lasted so many years, my parents are in their 70s and been happily married since they were around 20, both my brother and sister have been married happily for 25 years now too. Hell even my nieces and nephews are starting to get married! So I have been surrounded by it however sadly never found it for myself and had a different childhood/teens to them. Interestingly they all grew up as Christians and bro/sister met their other halves via the church so there's something that can be said for traditional values sometimes whereas I deviated away from the church thing in my early teens. In regards to your question I'm single, overly choosy, and admittedly unhappy with my current situation at the age of 41. I'm also feeling rather stuck/hopeless but at the same time in a dating hiatus because I got tired of it (at least temporarily). The either me not being interested/feeling enough of a spark and having to let nice people down (which makes me feel bad) or the other way round happens and I like them yet it gets to 2/3 dates before they disappear or their other hundred options come into play and it started wearing on my mental health. The problem is I'm no happier sitting on the shelf either especially in my early 40s and not getting any younger. I do have a couple of 'casual' options, one being a lovely girl in her 20s (spoke about her a while back on here) who I actually would date, we get on like a house on fire however as far as I can tell she's not looking for anything serious and that does not do me much good in the longer run outside of some nice company/fun from time to time. Guess I'll get back on the horse again in a few weeks. As @rainbowsandroses would say, time for a run I think!!

Can really resonate with this post, and that's from both sides. I've been guilty of being too picky to a point where I annoy myself for not being interested in certain people who have been keen on me, then boots often been on the other foot too so you end up in this situation where too many people are after some fairytale match made in heaven which results in a lot of people stuck single.

Haven't read all the other replies yet but to be honest when women or people on the apps have so many options and it's only a certain amount that lead to a second/third date it would get expensive to court women on a first date so it's better to do something cheap and cheerful. If it's a second or third date or you have established you clicked that's when the 'courting' and extra effort will begin.

Jesus, that's so confusing for guys. If a women kisses you at the end of the first date you would assume it was because they liked/were attracted to you, not the other way round 😂

In my opinion that's taking it a bit personally, it's rare people on apps are chatting to just one person and they hadn't even been on a date yet where you can build more rapport with each other. I've often had people disappear, come back, explain, and unless you had a date actually planned (time and place) and they did a disappearing act I try not to take it too personal.

Sounds like a fun dream, but wouldn't read much into it. Bet he would of taken it as a compliment though 😉 Is lift guy still on the scene or is he out now? I had a dream last night that my nagging shoulder injury was a t shirt stuck within my joint and I tugged it out somehow and it felt better 😂 What the actual hell...😂 I've also had sleep paralysis like you mentioned above, it can be terrifying can't it! Like there's a presence in the room just out of site and you just cannot move however I did shout once my body started responding which scared my house mates Mrs 😐 That was caused by chronic insomnia though I think.

Agree with all of this 👆

Hmm yep more needy vibes 🚩 Who wants to be stuck bombarding each other with texts all day what's the purpose outside of soothing each others insecurities. Good to have a bit of communication and to schedule dates though but sounds like he's expecting more than that sort of balance.

Yes I'm sure almost a billion people born between July 23 - August 22 are all more pushy when they are interested in someone 😆😜

Jeez not too annoying then 😆 You must be a patient person. At least it sounds like he came across better in life, wouldn't hurt to see how he reacts to suggesting a date and time however yes he does sound a bit luke warm to not be nailing down the next date unfortunately. Who knows maybe he will get in contact soon to set that date but would do your own thing in the meantime.

Not to the same extent it wasn't, being able to sit at home swiping away is more accessible than bars and clubs ever were in my opinion. You don't even have to go out and then have the confidence to go up and talk to one or two people like you did in bars or clubs, people can sit at home swiping yes or no at the rate of 20 people an hour on the latest apps if they desired. A female mate of mine who is not traditionally 'good looking' (not trying to sound mean) can date a 'decent seeming and good looking' guy a day if she wished to she gets that many matches.

Sorry but his messages give me slightly needy/possessive vibes even before the first date, kind of inappropriate at this point. It’s a convo that would be valid after some dates though (in my opinion) but before even a first date? I wouldn’t even bring it up.

To be honest I don't think it's anyones business if you're multi dating or not till you're a few dates in and both starting to develop feelings, obviously it may come up in casual convo but for it to matter to someone at that point especially before you have met shouldn't really be a thing. If they're going to choose someone else before you are close enough to be 'exclusive' that's their choice or loss (that's what I tell myself). I actually go into dating assuming women are multi dating even though it's not personally my thing, the amount of salami being thrown a womens way on the apps it's better mental preparation (for me) to assume she has various choices then just be your happy self, enjoy the dates/time you do have with good company and see where the chips fall. Perhaps I'm too laid back about it though and too far in the opposite direction.