I have been reading this thread and want to jump in. I am 63 so not so far away in age. By the way, I thought your picture was nice and many ladies do like guys who can play the guitar.
It seems you both are afraid to be vulnerable and simply ask for what you want, straight up and with no manipulation. And with kindness and respect. As another reader said, stop the threats to the relationship. Doing that takes a lot of courage, I know. But it's the only way the relationship will survive.
As my former father-in-law would recommend, everyone comes to their relationship like a half-empty bucket. Your job is to find the needs your partner has, perhaps caused by their wounds from childhood or past relationships. Then fill their bucket the best you can. They can do the same for you. This helps both partners heal and have a stronger bond.
Good luck to you and may jump in more later.