Stillsingle3

He made out he was looking for a relationship, but yes I think I dodged a bullet, I think the 6th date when I refused he was maybe testing my boundaries 🤷‍♀️ he obviously didn’t like being told no. I learnt a lot I think so I’m better prepared for the next time.

I did, I wanted to know. 3 times, I did get out of him why he didn’t feel we were compatible. It’s fair enough I guess. before we slept together for the first time I had said that I do not preform oral on someone that I am not in a relationship with (he’d mentioned it was a red flag if a woman wouldn’t) I said it’s something I do, do but not with just anyone. He asked me on the 3rd time and I said no, for the reason above. the other thing was he likes a bald down below, it’s not my thing, trimmed and some removed is what I like, I refused to remove all of it. so those were the two reasons we were not compatible.

This was spot on. his words ‘we are not sexually compatible’

Yeah I suppose that could be true, it’s only been a year. so what should I do? See what happens or just walk away now? I don’t know if he has anything personal going on in his life that’s causing him stress, I know he’s struggled to sleep the last few nights.

Yes he did tell me why, in great detail. It was a marriage that ended and she’s now re married. It’s been a year since they split up and the divorce came through a couple of months ago. oh I know, it’s something I keep in mind about being exclusive but I think 5 dates is too soon to know.

Ok so maybe big gaps is over exaggerated, but it was within minutes now it’s a few hours so I know that’s not an issue but my brain says it is. well I’d get voice notes and occasionally little videos, he’d go out for the day and I’d get photos and little videos of what him and the kids were up too (never asked for that) but then if he messages me, I’ll respond with whatever we were talking about then I’ll end it with ‘I hope you have a nice day’ giving the option to end the conversation till later but he responds within an hour or two so it continues so I don’t get it. maybe it’s me, maybe I’m the problem I’m so out of practice.

No this is not the same man as my previous thread. I wouldn’t say there’s a great distance, a 30 minute drive max. Only 5 dates because he has his children full time so I see him when he has childcare or the kids are visiting their mum. I know about his past relationship, when it ended, why it ended. I know about his children, only the basics about them, names, ages ect. Work, friends, things like that and other stuff about his life ect ive been to his but he’s not been to mine. well I don’t know if we are exclusive or not, he said he wasn’t talking to or seeing anyone else and I said the same.

Met a guy online about 6 weeks ago, had 5 dates and all seemed to be going well. last spent time with him last week on the Thursday and got the ‘had another great time text’ all seemed fine the day after as well. Then come Saturday the vibe felt off, I can’t put my finger on it though. I suppose because I was only seeing him once a week the texting was quite often and a fair bit of stuff to talk about. Now it’s died down, big gaps in between replies. The style has changed too. I suppose what I want to know is, am I looking into this too much? Should I say something about it feeling off? Is this like a slow ghost? im new to this so I don’t know how to handle the situation. the only thing I can think of is he had a family meal and they have maybe said something? I’ve not met them or anything like that but things were fine before.

Well actually we’ve had some changes as of last night. He’s confessed the affair, apparently told the truth though I doubt that. Now she’s contacted me, do I ignore? Obviously it’s over now so there’s no worries there and actually I feel relieved

How do you remove emotions? It took me a long time to actually feel anything for him. How do you just remove them?

It was only the once and I stayed away but was in the building. I was only told after. No not hr but the big boss. yes unprotected, but both were teenagers, not that, that is any excuse. I am going to try again to end things, it’s just difficult when you spend 8+ hours working closely together 5/6 days a week.

No I’m not in a relationship. yeah I suppose at the beginning it was the thrill of sneaking around, everyone at work knows about us apart from a few. We’ve spent birthdays together, he’s helped me move, decorate, put furniture together ect, he’s met some of my family. It’s been 2 years. he’s not told me the ‘we’re roommates’ line he had a breakdown at work because he doesn’t know what to do, I had to get his boss involved because of how distraught he was and how upset he got. And I mean full on tears. He doesn’t want to be where he is but doesn’t want the kids to suffer, I totally get that. he’s not married, I know doesn’t make a difference, he had a child with a girl he knew less than a month and chose to stand buy the accidental pregnancy (I didn’t get this info from him) though I knew that anyway and he a year down the line told me himself.

Now I know I’m going to get some (a lot of hate) for this, but I need some advice. I don’t even know where to start…….. so I’ve been in my current job for almost 5 years, about two years ago I met this guy who works here too, he’s been here a lot longer than me but worked on a different part of the site. anyway, so we worked together for a few months and became work friends, then at one point he said he liked me, was I interested ect. I said no and stuck by that as he has a partner. More time passes and things changed we started seeing each other. now it’s been a couple of years, we’ve done the ‘couple’ things ect, I did try and end things a few times because of the situation and was reassured that he was going to end it with his partner but it was hard because of the kids. someone gave her the heads up that something was going on but he denied it and things settled down, (we were still seeing each other but obviously it’s not as easy and he’s being watched closely. He’s tried to end it, I’ve tried to end it but it lasts an hour if that as we can’t stay away from each other. We still work together everyday, he can’t leave (or wont) I definitely wont leave and I can’t be moved. what do I do? How can I end this when I really don’t want to? He obviously can’t either. It’s more difficult now as he’s being watched (rightly so) I know I sound like a bad person, I am but I never meant for this to happen.