Hi everybody, i wasnt sure were to post this but i thought this was best, i'm having trouble sleeping, it's now 5:16am (UK time) and i could'nt sleep for thinking, i was thinking about the things that are going on in my life.
I think its a mixture of things that bothers me, like i've recently met an old friend of mine, i've known her since juniour school all the way up to secondry school - we was "boyfriend and girlfriend" all the way up until she left school when she was around 13/14 and i didnt see her again, i didnt know anything about it, she never said goodybye or anything, at the time i was also 13/14 and it didnt affect me that much because i was young etc... I'm 23 now and one of my friends told me that she was living in my very road - this was around a month ago now - we bumped into each other one day, she is so pretty, i was so happy to speak to her again, we spoke catching up for hours. I didnt really know what to think about what she had been up to since she left... along story short she had moved school because she went to live with her dad and when she left school met some guy and had two kids with him, they guy buy the way was was much older than her, 36 now i think! ...And now she's met this other guy and pregnant again, shes only knew him for around 6 weeks and she's already got his name tattoo'd on her arm!
I just feel so ... disappointed, you know? It's like she's not botherd about what happens, another friend of mine i know well decided to get in contact with me too a week ago, i havent spoken to him in a while also, last time i did he met some girl and got a house - i *thought* he was doing ok until he text me last week, he told me that she got pregnant but they split up because he was drinking alot and couldnt afford the rent on the house they had, now he's living on his own in some place where loads of homeless youths live and he was telling me how depressed he is.
It just seems that everyone is falling appeart, i hear storys also about my ex and how she's getting barrd from pubs and how she isnt welcome at my friends house's, she's another one thats fell off the wagon, since me and her split (about 4 month ago, maybe longer) she just sits at her home and smokes weed with all her stoner mates round, she used to do it when i met her but she quit - she was such a nicer person when i knew her, i dont really talk to her now, she use to hang about with some of my friends and at first when we split, i stopped seeing them because of this, i was still getting over her, i suppose i still have feelings for her now, but again, when i hear about what she's up to im just disappointed - but it plays on my mind. I think that i have kind of drifted away from some of my friends because i was getting over her, im just frightend of hearing about her - not quite sure why (i dont think frightend is the word but its the only one i could think of )
I think its more my ex that bothers me come to think - i sit and wonder about what she's doing and if she ever thinks about me or anything but i dare ask someone - you know? I dont think i would like to see her again, not as she is now, she seems to have an attitude or something now. It's crazy.
It just seems that nobody is really thinking about what there doing, it's like there not 'switched on' if you know what i mean and i dont know what to do, i think about this stuff most of the tim. I'm sorry this thread is so long, if you've read it this far please reply, i would like to shed some light onto why this stuff bothers me so much, or is there something i can do? If i havent explained something vary well let me know, because it is early hours and im slightly tired
Thanx!