Jeannette80

Well. Its been 8 weeks almost but me meet often (2-3 times a week). Some weekends we spent it together. Of course we have jobs and other obligations, but for me its best this way, because if we met lets say once a week it would took me longer to know his personality. Although some of you said i should have runned from 1rst date when he mentioned his ex and you are propably right. Sometimes we see the signs but dont want anything to mess our hope. We believe that if we give a chance we will see if the person is good for us 😢

I went out on 2nd date to give a chance and see how things will unfold

I dont want to confront him with the hope that he will change. I want Before ending this to be clear with myself and him so i can feel food about my decision. I know that if i confront him he will find excuses. He has already showed me that he cannot admit anything or that he will put the blame on me. I know that he will drive me crazy with his answers. I know i will regret not saying anything Before leaving. I need to get everything out of my chest also. I want to give back the watch and say something " you think i didnt realise this was your ex's".

Of course i see some signs but ive spotted then very recently. Tonight we will meet and i will try to confront him about a few things and see how he reacts. For example i will Ask him directly some questions. And tell him what i want in Order to be happy in the relationship. I want to do that so if i leave the relationship to feel good, not quilty, show him that i have the power.

Also i remember one time Before we meet to go to a place he asked me "would you like to sleep at my place tonight" and i said " sorry i cant tonight" So during the night he was silent, no hug, not even a Kiss good night. And i asked him whats wrong. No Kiss tonight? And he said something stupid like "oh sorry i had on my mind that im hungry i should go to find something to eat"

Also he tells me something like "tomorrow we should go out", then tomorrow comes and no contact. I send him message or maybe he sends me but around 7.30 in the evening. Its like he wants to show me that he doesnt care much if we plan something or not although he was the one suggesting to go out.

I forgot to mention that he compared me with his ex wife on the first date ( he said that he prefers me than his ex because of this and that). He also said that he is worried about how his ex wife will react if she finds out that he moved on. He also a bit jealous. One day i was wearing a mini skirt and its was a bit cold and he said "of course you feel cold, you are not wearing much clothes" I felt he was being sarcastic. He said it in a funny way but it felt offensive. Other times he said "oh you are sexy in this dress and everyone will look at you" Sometimes he critisize my choices. Or he insists to change my choices. And he might say something like "you should do this and that". You should do your hair like this. We should buy you new clothes. He even critisized my driving.

Hello. I would like some thoughts and opinions about the guy im dating for 2 months. We met online and started dating. He is divorced (3 years ago) with a son. From almost day 1 he showed enthousiasm and he showered me with excessive compliments and affection, messaging all day, talking about future plans with me, said he loved me, that he found what he was looking for etc. You get the point. Too fast, too soon. But now he is a bit changed. During this 2 months im trying to figure out his personality because some things dont feel right. Examples : *Hot and cold. One day affection, the other distance. * We plan for a trip, cant decide where to go, i give him 3 choices (1 of them is his suggestion) and he chooses something else instead. He doesnt want to have things my way?? He wants to choose his own thing? *Drops me at my house and i ask him"would you like to come to my place? " and he answers" you are not inviting me, you are asking me in this way". What? He wants me to beg?? Playing with Words? * We agree to go out to a place and he gives me 3 choices about where we should meet Example: At the gas station, at his house, or else. If i choose something else rather than his house he tells me " See? You didnt want to meet at house so you dont spend the night with me". Testing me to see if i want him?? *He says "i think someone else would suit you better than me" And i reply "are you trying to tell me that i you and i dont match? " And he says" i just wanted to see your reaction and what your reply would be ". * He doesnt admit something for example he said that he would Call me back and he didnt. But he said "no i never said id Call you back" *I slept at his place and when i asked if he had anything so i can remove my make up, he brought me women products that he admitted that it was his ex wife. And when i asked why he still have them after 3 years, he said stupid excuses like "i paid for them so they are mine, i have plenty of space in the house so why not have them, i thought that maybe someone will need to use them etc. But when i Asked him, at first he didnt even want to talk about it, he became defensive and said he doesnt want to fight about it , while for me it was just a conversasion. *he gave me a present (a watch) but the battery was expired since 2021 so i Ask him where did he get it from so i can go and change battery, and i figured out that he didnt buy it for me but was probably for someone else (his ex wife??) and he bought it years ago. Maybe for some reason he didnt give it to her. *I told him that he is defensive and he said "of course i am, ive been Hurt in the past". His wife left him and he begged her to come back as he said. Maybe thats why he told me several times that he doesnt like to beg. Im not even sure if he got over the divorce. * he said that in the past he could become angry easily, but now he is changed. The only thing that can get him out of control is if he sees me with another guy. He also said he hopes i wont find another man (its like he is afraid i will go or find someone else). He said that he hope he wont get Hurt. *he wants me to move at his house at some point soon. By the way im currently at the beginning of building a house. He is worried where are we going to live because he already has a house and he thinks its not necessary for me to build a house. I told him we'll see what we will do when the time comes, but i cant stop the building of the house and just come live with you. Its like he already has a plan in his mind about us and doesnt want anything to mess this up. In general, he doesnt like to have conversasions about serious issues or anything that may bother me about the relationship. He becomes defensive, he says hes been through a Lot and he wants to be calm. His words dont match his actions.(i love you, i want you, but often he becomes distant, no Kiss, hug, or brings the ex wifes staff etc) He gives me the impression that he doesnt like to show vulverable, or show affection always, or that he wants to control the relationship (where we will go, what we will do). Its like if he shows too much affection, or have things my way he will fear of losing control. Im not really sure if he can have deep feelings for me or that he can let go of his insecurities. He also gives me the impression that he wants his life back (the house the wife the family) and maybe im the replacement. Maybe he is emotionally unavailable? I thought i should give time, but i have my doubts about him. Any opinions??