writerwill

Anyone? Happy 4th

I LOVE reading these. I don't want to hijack this with my own situation, but here goes. If you would like to delete, I won't be offended - but if you'd like to offer your thoughts, even better AND so appreciated :) It's a good story, I think - I'm gay, too, so please be kind! My story: I am 31 and gay. My ex (25, gay) and I were together for a year. We were deeply in love, though we fought sometimes and even broke up twice. It was both our first relationships with guys, and we were each other's first loves. I lost my job when the publication I edited folded back in January. In February, I received a job offer out of state that I could not pass up. Though I was devastated about leaving my boyfriend behind (he had just started a new job so he wasn't going to up and move with me, nor did I want to make him), I was excited about the job. My ex helped move me out of state, even taking a road trip together. Before I moved away, we had lived together for a month after I had sublet my apartment, and everything was amazing. Soon after I moved away, we decided doing long distance was too hard. And truth be told, I had hooked up with other guys when I was there. And we still talked nightly, until a month in he came to visit and we got into a big fight because things just felt "off." We were living in different cities and we weren't boyfriends anymore, but had been talking every day long distance. Anyways, it turned out that I was miserable about the breakup, and after our big fight, we didn't talk. Meanwhile, the new job I had taken and moved cross country for turned out to be a disaster, and I hated it. So lo and behold, I got another job offer back in the city I had moved from just 3 months ago, and now I am back in the same city as my ex. We had reconciled after out fight, and he called me drunk one night to say how much he missed me but was upset with me. When I told him I was moving back, he and I talked for a week or two, but as my move date back drew closer, I could feel him pulling away. By the time I had moved back to our city, he told me never to contact him but gave me no reason. He HAD told me he was 'hanging out' with another guy but he was just a rebound - my ex's words. (While I am tall and lanky, the rebound guy is apparently my opposite - short and muscular! LOL) As the story goes, I ended up moving to the same neighborhood as my ex. Currently, we text sometimes, and I have bumped into him twice, though he has been cold, mean and guarded when I see him. I live a few blocks from him, and I told him on the phone the other day I'd like to take a yoga class together or meet up as friends sometime, and he seemed to be responsive. He even called me the nickname he used to call me when we dated at the end of the phone call. THIS MORNING, I saw him. We work out at two gyms by each other and we ran into each other! We ended up walking back to our respective places, talking and joking. He was less guarded and hugged me immediately upon seeing me - and yes, we did linger a bit. I even showed him my apartment that I just moved into. I said I'd love to take a yoga class or grab coffee sometime, and he said in due time "if you're lucky" - an inside joke and something he always told me. I asked him about him blocking me on Instagram out of nowhere (he never posts and we had not been following each other even!) and he said he will unblock me at some point, but that he didn't "want to see me pop up." I truly believe he still has feelings for me, and that he's warming up to me! A month ago, he told me he never wanted to talk or see me again, and clearly he did not mean that. For now, I am going to try not to worry about the supposed rebound guy he is hanging out with and give him some space and time. I truly believe that if we began a new relationship, things would be better. I have worked on myself and realized that I put way too much pressure on him when we dated, and I have been gaining independence, taking exercise classes, and I look and feel good. Any friendly advice is so appreciated. Thanks, friends.