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Buckley999

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About Buckley999

  • Birthday 05/10/1960

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  1. Dear V, remember all those times you told me that you were scared that one day I would discover that you weren't a very nice person? I told you not to worry, that would never happen. Well, I was wrong.
  2. One of the worst things about being apart...as well as the blindingly obvious of missing you more than I ever thought possible, is that I just want to know how you are. I want to know how your day to day life is going. I want to know about the niggles at work. The issues with your kids. The conflicts with your sisters. How your commute was. How your painful hip is feeling. If you'd like a cup of coffee. It's that little everyday stuff, that I am now excluded from, that feels so important and which I now feel is lost to me, a whole life forever lost.
  3. What made me think of us baking cakes together? I guess there's no way to really know what triggers these mental processes. It was late at night and we were making a batch of vegan cupcakes. We were laughing and joking and having such a sweet, sweet time. Its those little, inconsequential (or so it seemed at the time) events that leave tender memories that are so, so devastating. The cakes were for your sisters birthday party the next day. At the party you kissed me, and held me, danced with me and loved me. I didn't imagine it, or make it up. I'm not looking at the past through rose tinted glasses. I'm not exaggerating. So many people told me how happy we looked together...how does that just disappear, in what felt like the blink of an eye. How?
  4. Dear V, I know you are heading off to your niece's wedding this weekend, and then going to stay with your a sister for a few days during next weeks half term holiday, and I really genuinely hope you have a nice time, and get to relax a bit. The invitation came through while we still together, and you never once asked if I wanted to come along. I didn't push it, as I assumed you might want a break or something, but it nagged away at me. I don't want to think of you as calculating but maybe you had already decided that I wouldn't be on the scene when this weekend rolled around. Is that the case? Had you already decided my time was up, months before it actually happened? I wonder will you meet friends and family who ask after me because they don't know that we are no longer together. What will you say to them? Will it just be a brusque, "oh we split up, and how are you..." or will it give you pause for thought. And your sisters and your mother, all of whom told me that they had never seen you as happy as you were with me. Will they ask about me, and how you are coping with the split? Will you think of me at all while you are away....and more importantly when will I stop caring if you do or not. XX
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