sadgirl19

Very far, over 1k miles now. We were in the midwest and I moved to the south.

This man (30M) and I had a casual/fwb situation for about 3 months. We both deep down knew it wouldn't go anywhere as far as commitment as we were in different places in our lives and wanted different things long term, but we really enjoyed each other's company and the sex. I was about to start my new career, and he's in hybrid grad school program that required him to go out of state for a few weeks at a time. He would come back home every month for some weeks, though, and would come see me first whenever he did. He mentioned he has no interest in marriage or commitment and admitted to being a f*boy from the beginning, said all men are cheaters, women are h*es, and not to trust anyone. So I continued to talk to other people and he was aware of this and had no issues with it. Yet, because of his sweetness, consistency, attentiveness, and what he liked to call 'lover boy' behavior, I still got caught up in our situation, got attached and caught feelings for him over time. I keep thinking about the intimacy we shared, and I truly think he wanted me to fall for him. We talked every single day, he took me on dates, he made time for me, he pursued me and seemed like he was so into me, even more so than I was in the beginning. His eyes would light up every time we saw each other. He told me he had no interest in other women while we were sleeping together, seemed to respect my hypochondria around sex, he's kissed my forehead and said I'm enough for him. He even had offered to help me with my upcoming move. I did end up having to move to another state for work, and the last time we saw each other before my move, he flipped a switch and went completely cold and heartless on me. Said that realistically it will be too hard for him to visit me, and that if I keep texting him he'll get tempted by me and will want to hook up with any woman available around him - including his married classmates, who apparently throw themselves at him. He said I'll most likely find someone new after I move, who has more money/is more endowed which I found odd to mention given we were so attracted to each other. Then he made excuses about how he's trying to better himself and stop sleeping around, and it's best if we stop talking and move on. I thought we could keep things cordial and maybe would have naturally just let things fizzle out instead of having this dramatic break up as we weren't a couple. It hurts to be cut off so suddenly, told all these cruel things in the end, and not be able to talk to him again when I thought we had bonded to some degree. He's also told me a former flame had called him during the holidays crying and asking why he stopped speaking with her, and that he ignored her. I don't know how to not take his sudden shift in behavior so personally and stop feeling so confused and unwanted, because he's clearly a bundle of red flags, but I'm having a hard time coping with the no contact and it's been 2 months already. Everything he's done and said to make me feel like he cared at first has been thrown out the window, and I feel so abandoned and rejected. I've learned to not be intimate with men I'm not in a relationship with, but for some reason unfortunately, I felt a connection with him that I hadn't found in a long time. I guess I'm trying to make sense of what all transpired.

Update: He just responded with "same". I need to delete him and stay strong 😪

A few weeks ago he mentioned he really wanted to meet me before my overseas trip, which is this week, and to let him know which hotels would be fine to book. Then some stuff came up with his work, which I'm not sure if it was an excuse or not, but it seemed genuine based on what he shared and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I didn't bring up meeting since he was stressed that week. Though I probably should have? And then this argument transpired that weekend, so we just never got the chance. I think that's also why I'm regretful, because I don't know what could have been if we had met. It would've been easier for me to figure things out if we did.

Sorry, meant to quote on earlier response. No, we have not met but he was planning on it soon, so we would know if we were a good fit. You're right though. He would also say he had a desire for kids but not so much the wife. I don't know why I ignored all the red flags. I just enjoyed the friendship aspect a lot but now it is lost forever.

He's definitely not a catfish as we shared a lot of snaps with each other! I knew about his work, where he lived, where he's from, where he went to school, we even shared childhood photos and our ancestral dna lol.

This guy (26M) and I (31F) met on a dating app and hit it off really quick. We have been talking for about a month, and seemed to have a lot in common as far as our mentality, personality, and what we were looking for - almost a twin flame feeling. Very intense, fun, and flirty. He stated he didn't mind the age gap and prefers someone older. Our humor matched up perfectly, we had inside jokes immediately, he made me laugh all the time, we were attracted to each other, and we would text every single day. I am not used to the age gap or the consistent texting, but I think the constant communication is why I ended up feeling so attached to him. We had a few phone conversations, which would last 5+hours and he said he had never done that before. We loved hearing each other's voices and shared so much with each other. We talked about our past grief and marriage and kids. We shared that we had feelings for each other. He did give me warnings about how in his previous relationships, he was accused of not caring enough. And that he doesn't have emotions like everyone else and does not like to argue. He's made it fairly clear that he struggled with some form of depression as well. We also both tend to push people away, so I thought we would understand each other a little better. All this of course worried me though, but I thought we could try. Well, I suppose that day was to come. He tends to provoke people and make sarcastic remarks, and he did frequently with me, but I typically took what he would say as jokes and would laugh it off. This past weekend, I unintentionally said something that upset him, and he went silent. I noticed he also deleted me from the app. I regret what I said immediately and apologized profusely. I felt horrible and explained where I was coming from and we ended up talking it out a little bit despite him not liking to argue. He repeatedly said not to worry/don't stress it/it's not a big deal and that he will get over it, but I don't know where we stand. I hadn't heard from him in 3 days so I reached out last night saying I miss talking to him, and have not yet heard back. Is it safe to assume I will never hear again? Or is it possible he needs more time? I feel like I know the answer, but I'm having a hard time accepting it. I haven't felt this way with someone in years, and I can't explain why. I know we're not even in a relationship or anything, but I feel as though I lost a good friend that I trusted and it's because of what I said. That's what's making this so hard. We were like mirrors of each other, until we were not. I also know it is illogical and irrational to feel so upset over this considering we hadn't even met, but I am having a hard time coping for some reason. It feels like a breakup which is so bizarre to me because I do have a lot of experience with dating. He claims to be marriage oriented and seemed keen on not "wasting time talking" if we weren't to marry. So I doubt we could even maybe continue a friendship. This is also a long distance thing. He lives about 3 hours away and was planning on visiting me, but I doubt that will happen now. All signs point to failure at this point. I am just sad, that's all.