kim42

Thank you for all your input, it's great to read this! Just to clarify - I'm not that shy and reserved, I think some people might have gotten the wrong idea. I'm not the biggest extrovert but I go out a lot and I like to socialize with my friends. I am a little shy when it comes to men because I would rarely make the first move or show clear interest in the past. This has been changing though, I've been doing things differently lately and I enjoy it! I'll see what I'll do in this situation with this coworker.

Yes, I have been practicing direct communication with other men and it has helped a lot. I have stopped posting in my other thread but I still appreciate your advice!

I'm not saying touching a man's arm is sexual but I don't think it's appropriate with a coworker that I have seen only once. It's too soon to break physical barriers, at least for me.

I don't know anyone from his team, just him.

Yes but he's still a coworker so I have to take that into account and be cautious with physical contact.

As I said, I'm not sure I gave him indications of interest, from my point of view I didn't do anything that could indicate clear interest, apart from being friendly. The thing is that there is a very little chance that I'll just see him at the office because most people work from home, and go to the office only a few times per month. Anyway, it's interesting to read about different opinions and experiences.

I'm actually not sure if I gave any indicators that I'm interested in him. I mean, I always accept coffee suggestions from coworkers, or I say yes to lunch or an after-work thing (if I'm free), for me it's a polite thing to do at work.

So I said yes to his invite for drinks with his coworkers. That was the last time I saw him in person so we only interacted online afterwards. As I said, he sent me a message right after coffee that it was nice to meet me. I replied that it was nice to meet him too. Last week and this week we exchanged a few messages but it was only about work. He also messaged me to apologize that it took him longer to finish one task I was waiting for but again, it was just about work. His messages are friendly, with lots of emojis. I work for a big company and we can also work from home so I have no idea when I'll see him next at the office. I don't think I was cold during that coffee break, we talked very easily, there were no awkward pauses. It's hard for me to tell if I was flirty because I'm not sure if he would interpret it as flirting, but he did laugh at my jokes. I tend to be a little shy but overall the coffee break went really well, at least for me.

Thank you, it's akways good to hear a different point of view, I think I'll try to be more proactive this time, instead of just waiting for him to make a move.

I like this and honestly wish I was more proactive in these situations. I'm just worrried it would be too much since I've only seen him once.

I have seen him only once so I can't say that I like him or something, but yeah I'd like to get to know him better and maybe spend some time outside work, we had a good time during our coffee break, he was funny and easy to talk to.

Just to clarify, we had coffee during work hours, we didn't hang out outside work. While we were talking during our coffee meet, he invited me to join him and his team for drinks after work. But that didn't happen yet. But yeah, it's totally possible that he changed his mind in the meantime for whatever reason.

Ok thanks for clarifying. Can you please explain how you progressed romantically with her? If you feel like it, of course.

That shouldn't be an issue, I have very limted contact with him as far as work, we only worked on one project and then my manager gave me a little task that involved several people, including him. But otherwise we don't work together and I don't see him at all because we can also work from home so most people don't go to the office.

Yeah maybe I simply misread the situation. I think it was the flirty vibe that is hard to describe and the 'nice to meet you' message that he sent after coffee that made me think he might be interested. No big deal though.