kim42

I think that if change your texting habits and text her less, she could think that you're less interested and pulling away. It could create some confusion in my opinion.

This was actually my first impression about this situation.

Maybe she's an overthinker and because she doesn't usually kiss on a first date, she didn't feel comfortable after the date. It could also be that the kiss was just an excuse not to go on a second date. Maybe try to keep first dates more simple next time so you don't feel disappointed when there's no second date. Sadly this happens a lot, that one person thinks it was a great date while the other one has a different impression.

How far do you live from each other? If you want to see him again, you should ask him if he wants to see you again too.

I know it's good for me to get out of my comfort zone from time to time, and I think I can always leave earlier if I don't feel comfortable. I also think it probably takes some time to suggest hanging out with a coworker one on one after work, especially if you don't know each other that well.

Thanks guys for encouraging me to go, it's definitely out of my comfort zone but I'll go and keep you posted!

Great topic! I'm not a huge fan of dating apps, probably because I live in a big city and most people use these apps just to hook up. As far as speaking before meeting, I usually like to text at least for a few days but not like 24/7 texting. I don't like texting too long before meeting though because then I feel like the guy doesn't want to meet up at all. I agree that 'texting chemistry' can be misleading. I once matched with this guy on Tinder, we texted for a few days - very kind, he planned the date and everything but zero chemistry when we met, at least from my end.

Hey everyone, I thought I'd share my recent situation with a coworker. I work for a very big company, with lots of different departments, and last week a coworker from a different department, different team that I had never met before asked me for coffee during work hours. I was a little surprised since we didn't know each other. A month ago, he asked me to do something on a project he was working on - by email. He then went on holidays so I communicated with his manager. He came back from holidays last week and sent me a message to ask about the project. He then asked me for coffee. I said yes because I'm still rather new in the company so I thought it'd be nice to meet new people. The project was already finalized by then and we are not working on a new one for now. He made sure we would be at the office on the same day (we can work from home too). He sent me a message the day before to confirm, and on the day of he confirmed the time. I had coffee, or was supposed to have one, with other coworkers in the past but most of them were too busy or just canceled so I was thinking he might cancel too but he didn't. When we finally met this week for the first time, it was very nice, he was very talkative and funny, and I think there was some flirting too. I also realized that we had actually met already before - it was at our Christmas party, we talked very briefly and I'm not sure he remembers. While we were drinking coffee, he invited me to go for drinks after work with him and his team the next time they go out. I said yes but I don't know anyone from his team except for him, and I don't feel very comfortable in groups when I don't know many people. At the same time, I'd like to get to know this coworker a little better, he seems like a nice guy. Also, after coffee I went back to my desk and he sent me a message shortly after that it was nice to meet me. Do you guys think I should go for drinks with his team? I genuinely feel awkward in settings when everyone knows each other and I'm the new one. Thank you!

Did you talk to him about what he's looking for? Are you only hanging out as friends or did you kiss? Not everyone likes texting, so I think it's more important how he treats you when you are together.

I agree with this, especially with stepping back and allowing him to come to her. I think when we like really a man, we can get a little anxious and overthink things - this is something that I've been struggling a lot personally but I think it's important to learn how to handle this uncertainty at the early stages, and just let things unfold naturally. As @rainbowsandroses mentioned, you can't 'pull him in' more.

When is he coming back from holidays? If he asks you out once he's back and continues to text you to set plans, I think that's a good sign. I think it's too early to say if he's interested only in sex, so I'd continue to observe him. If he only invites you to his place and doesn't take you out, you'll have your answer. But none of us here can tell you how much into you he really is, or if he's emotionally unavailable. I wouldn't worry too much about texting, if he asks you out again, I think it matters more than texting.

No common areas, just the elevator. Many stores nearby so I might run into him in one of them. It's okay, no pressure, I don't want to overthink so let's see how it goes the next time I run into him.

Yes, a friendly hello is totally okay here. The conversation this week went well so let's see how the next one goes, will keep you posted!

There is nothing deeper going on, and I don't understand the need to overanalyze everything.

Thank you @Wiseman2! @rainbowsandroses I didn't say that I don't want to or won't talk to him again. I just said that some of these suggestions are too forward for this culture as people are simply reserved. I've lived here long enough to know how people interact and what's appropriate. It has nothing to do with my dislike of phone calls, I don't know why you keep bringing this up, it's just a personal preference. Also, it's totally different when you just travel and when you actually live abroad. Also, can we please leave the long-distance guy out of this thread? There's already one with 20+ pages about him, and this one is about my neighbor. Thank you.