Jump to content

Guardian452

Bronze Member
  • Posts

    42
  • Joined

About Guardian452

  • Birthday 10/13/1993

Guardian452's Achievements

Contributor

Contributor (5/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges

2

Reputation

  1. I tried that before we met. I was on dating apps for a few years but found most the conversations I had were going nowhere and was burned out from that. However I was also perfectly content being by myself at the time which of course was when she entered my life.
  2. The five days I mentioned was the most recent time we met up - we also spent two weekends together (once at hers and another at mine) and we also had plenty of virtual dates in between visits as well as phone calla etc where we were both very open about how we felt about each other.
  3. I do see your point, but she was very clear about how much she did love me and even yesterday on the phone said it was impossible for her not to fall in love with me. What I mean is if she didn't have this baggage (she's over him but has a lot of insecurities surrounding how he treated her) then things would have been fine, but she needs to work through it alone. We're giving each other space as we both agreed we couldn't be friends right out of the gate and would need to start things from scratch, so she said she wasn't going to message me until I'm ready to do so.
  4. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://poosh.com/three-loves-theory/&ved=2ahUKEwiQkP2DkrH-AhUGAsAKHSp8CIEQFnoECAsQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3q1I9Jyd7IrlTNlDGRmT72 It's this theory here. I'd already experienced the first two (once at 17 and then the second at 23/24) and the third sounds exactly like the bond we had. I'm very introverted but I do go to gigs fairly regularly and play in a band myself, and go to the cinema and the occasional comic con. I'm not currently in the headspace to meet anyone new but also don't want to have to fake interests etc under the pretence that I might meet someone.
  5. About six months ago, I came across someone incredibly wonderful on Instagram. She followed me as we had a mutual follower and I followed back thinking she was cool and not thinking much of it within that moment. A few days later, I replied to her story as I saw that she went to see a band in her hometown that I was supposed to be seeing that evening. We started a conversation from there and quickly discovered we had an awful lot in common. After a couple of weeks of talking, I realised that I had pretty strong feelings for her, and then after a month of talking we both confessed our feelings to each other. Following a few 5-6 hour video calls over the next few months, I went to visit her for a weekend in January where we became a couple. Then cut to yesterday. Following an incredibly lovely five days together, we have an incredibly tearful phone call together which effectively ended the relationship. She felt because we were long distance, things got way more intense and passionate than she was expecting to and she wasn't ready for that due to lingering baggage from her emotional abusive ex of 9 years who she broke up with about a year ago after finding out he cheated on her. She made it incredibly clear her decision was nothing to do with me and that I don't need to change anything about myself and that she did love and care about me a lot, and that she does want to be friends once we're both ready for it. However, she doesn't want that friendship to have the expectation of getting back into a relationship hanging over it. This is such a bittersweet experience. I've never had a relationship that was this loving and nurturing where I've loved someone so honestly and purely and received the same love in return, so I'm glad that I got to have this relationship as we both would have regretted not giving things a go. However, I'm pretty sad that things had to end as I do care about her a lot and really imagined us having a future together. It feels like I came across the right person at the wrong time - she embodied everything I want from a relationship. We vibed really well together, she was understanding of the difficulties I have due to being autistic, we have similar values/ethics, and she's accepting of the fact that I'm vegetarian and don't drink (the latter being something she also didn't partake in). Obviously I'm not in a state to date anyone at the moment - I need to find the time to work through this pain as much as it hurts and it wouldn't be fair to drag another person into this. However, I've been thinking about how long it took me to find someone I felt that drawn to and am already dreading having to wade through endless conversations on dating apps that just go nowhere like I did before we met. I feel like I've lost my third love (if we go by the three loves theory) and that I'm not going to find anyone who I love as much as her and need to settle for "second best". Is there hope for me to find the happiness I seek?
×
×
  • Create New...