LootieTootie

Ok. Again, people can like you and still bust your balls. Glad you have made friends at your workplace.

Again, everyone giving solid advices to you, Alex. And again... I'm pretty sure you will ignore everyone's advices. Alex, do you ever ask yourself "Why do I keep getting the same results in my life?" Einstein once said... Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I wouldn't say its to humiliate you. More so as using you for laughs. You described yourself as quiet/introverted so these coworkers probably see you different and target you. They can also like you but because you come off different, they find you amusing. Also, a workplace is no fun when people arent laughing. You can tell people to knock it off or keep quiet, like you're doing, hoping all the gossip is true. I wouldn't play into it.

It's not about assuming the worst in people. Its about reading the room. You have coworkers who keep teasing you and saying "hey she said this...hey she said that.." Probably to get you to react and poor girl probably doesn't like it but this time, I think she played along by asking loudly and putting you on the spot if you were trying to hold her hand. I'm sure everyone talked about it, and even behind your back laughed about it.

Wow, don't ever get a dog if a cat was this much of a headache. Sorry but agree with Catfeeder. Your son's responsibility to find a reliable sitter is on him and assigning people to be a petsitter when they've already shown you the first time, they arent good at it - well, thats on him. If grandma didnt do a good job the first time, shouldn't have asked her and definitely not expect her to do a redeeming job.

What you need to do is called the cops. This is domestic violence. Either it keeps getting worse or you just end up dead. Please do not be with this man any more. Find your spine to walk away.

Me thinks your coworkers, including this girl, are giving you a hard time because they want to laugh at you. Do you get picked on at work ?

I don't know ..but if a guy is funny and I want to know him better, I would probably reach out and ask "hey, when are we getting drinks with your coworkers?" 😁 I know that's just me and not you Kim. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, I wouldn't worry. But yea, I love when anyone can make me laugh and feel at ease. Might be too much but I've always felt that if you want to find someone, you gotta be proactive too. And yes, that means doing/saying something you normally wouldn't. I didnt meet anyone significant doing meetup groups - and some of those meetup groups were obviously for dating under hobbies/interests - but I did meet a lot of interesting and amazing people just pretending to be something I am not.

Can I ask what country she's in? Also I really think you need to think about this relationship a bit harder. For her to confess to you that she's been lying to you about this John, what else has she lied to you about? Please know that there are a lot of women in poorer countries who prey on men in first world countries. So lying and being deceitful is something most of these women are used to doing. Not saying all of them are like that but many of them are so you have to be smart and ask yourself if her lying to you is just a tip of the iceberg,

Also its very normal for someone to be on "dry spell" and use porn and then all of sudden stop using porn because now they're actually have sex. For most people, sex is a need.

Ok I agree with this even tho I am a big advocate of figuring your sh*t out before you get into a relationship. NN I think you're probably just tired and frustrated because this all new to you and you're not used to the mental and emotional aerobics of it all. Once you keep working on it, you will get better. The only problem I see is that your friend (or is it girlfriend now?) might find you exhausting too 😐 You mentioned she said you arent like this all the time but enough times for her to speak up. Any way, I think its an uphill battle for you but I do think that for you are trying to be a better and healthier version of you. It's hard to change what you've always been so I commend you for trying because we all can agree, a healthier version of you is a happier version.

I think this is fine and natural. You're feeling good about a new prospect and haven't felt the need to fantasize by watching porn or go to only fans. It's a good sign.

Thank you Rainbow 🙂 When you meet someone special, your whole body, mind and heart just know. Now... I think all these rules and dances are just silly games! Like "I don't have all day to read our fortune as well as your mind, mister/missy!" Thats exactly how I felt when I was dating and I played them too so I am not just a victim, I was a perpetrator too. I've been married to my husband for almost 8 years and I can tell you all, wow what a relief I don't have to go thru this vicious cycle any more LOL. Ok enough about me. But this is why I don't like the rules and dance stuff.... It plays into people's fricken emotions/insecurities. I think it stifles a relationship from organically developing. I believe the OP said that he would like the relationship to organically develop and feel like equal footing where he isn't the one doing all the initiation and looking like he is the one coming on too strong - esp. after she gave him some insight to her insecurities and how she's been hurt. Thats why I think he shouldn't do any of those "rules" - he should be himself - and if being himself means stepping back a little, awesome! Maybe a little bit more texting - awesome! But it looks like he got a good head on his shoulders and decided to give her some space. Before we get to the good night and good morning texts, I just want to say he did mention somewhere that the lady he is seeing actually said she liked them. & you said "what's she gonna say when he asks, that she hates it? That can be difficult to admit as we don't want to come across as hurtful and unappreciative." I think its hard to say what anyone would say when we don't know them. But I say please take people at their word! So if someone tells you they like something, go with it. Don't doubt them - to doubt then is to disrespect their word - disrespect them. So I can see why OP is doing the texting after he provided context. But you're right. Not all women would like the texting every day, morning and night, with the standard "good morning" and "good night" texts. But I know if I really like a guy, I love it. Probably why my husband still do it since we are on different sleep work schedule.

So you say she doesn't let you retreat. Is it because you need to retreat to sort yourself out, you need to retreat because the emotional toil of it all is too much for you, she is forcing you to talk, etc.? I am a big believer that when someone is ready to talk, they will talk. It just sounds like you are not ready to talk about things that weighs heavily on you and even when you open up, it doesn't seem like you're lighter from sharing. Maybe you are not ready to share?

Sounds like she is enjoying her vacation and its a good sign she has sent you texts without you initiating. Every busy mom/dad needs a holiday... or two... or three 🙂 Since you are an old-fashion guy, I would just ignore "rules" "the dance" or any "help books" by supposed dating gurus. When you meet someone and there is a deep attraction and deep connection, the last thing you need to worry is if saying good morning every day is too much. If I really like someone, I would be happy to see their text every morning and would text them right away with a big smile. That's just me tho... I guess not every women want to do that because it might appear desperate. Glad my husband wasn't into rules and "the dance" too and maybe thats why we clicked so well.