itsallgrand

Sounds like a very good plan.

What are you thinking you will do now, OP? Is it helping talking it through?

I haven't read most of the replies. But all I can think is oh God, this lady is acting like a stereotypical Mountain Dew swilling hick lol. Does she yell at gay couples too? You are an educated man in his 40s, obviously have patience!, and you are a catch for so many women! Keep a watch on your picker so you aren't standing in your own way going forward in finding someone who will treat you as you deserve.

It's not going to work. You don't trust him anymore and you seem afraid of him. There's multiple issues here. You don't seem ready yet to assert yourself and to be comfortable saying no. Why did you go into panic mode? Past trauma? What does him buying you things and hanging out have to with it? The other issue is he seems to be either clueless or exploiting your inability to be firm with him. The fact that he "forgets" things you've said to him makes me think he's cool with pushing right past your boundaries.

You are expecting way too much of your friends. Some people you may remain close with, others may drift away. That's totally normal. I don't think you being married and/or kids would change that. I don't have kids, and have lived through many friendships where my friend became a mom. Some drifted, others we found a sweet spot where we both were able to stay in touch and in each other's lives through the years. I'm an "auntie" to some of their kids. It takes both putting in the effort and being flexible, but also, some friendships are just different than others. Some the connection it doesn't matter what is going on in your lives, some are more built on a certain place and time in your lives. It's fine. I agree with rainbow where she said you need to get comfortable letting go more often. It's like you are holding on with clenched fists, not leaving room for things to change. You have to be ok respecting change in people's lives. As for what to do, do what you want. Do what you are going to own. Don't go and then hold it against them that it doesn't turn out like you want. Just be genuine! People can sniff out bs a mile away.

I totally understand where you are coming from. Recovery from trauma is such a long road. I'm forever grateful to you for sharing over the years and your support. I'm so happy for you for every stride you make. It can all be so bittersweet. You have built a beautiful life filled with love, strength, and achievement and you have been everything for your family. It matters, it means something. And you did it all on hard mode. I'll always be cheering you on even if I live to 98 and have no way of telling you.

Some of them are on Tubi in Canada, not sure about the U.S. though. Tubi is free which is awesome if you don't mind a few ads.

I love some trashy reality TV, but never cared for the Bachelor or Survivor or Big Brother. Yet these ones have gone on forever so somebody likes them! Rainbowandroses, do you remember the real trashy VH1 shows? That ride ended with a murder. Those shows were insane and were the golden age of reality trash imo.

This may come across harsh but she's not giving ready to be in a serious relationship energy here. To just have fun? Sure. But you shouldn't even have to negotiate this, it's common sense for someone who wants to see what can really come of committing and seeing where it can go. She doesn't have to pledge her life, but needing to be told the dude she was still sleeping with when she first started dating you is off the table for sleep overs goes without saying !

Canadians, remember FashionTelevision?! Lol. Can't hear this song without thinking about it.

The only one in this scenario who deserves a break is the poor baby that is coming from this union of great minds.

The reason I brought that up is you come across rather immature for your age and I think that happens a lot when people are insulated too much by their parents. You trivialize money because natural consequences aren't really on you. You tiptoe around your bf saying some very serious things to you because you are so accustomed to doing what you think other people want you to.

He is right that he isn't in a position to date though. He needs to be focusing on his mental health and basics of survival on his own. You can be supportive of him, but that's about it. If someone mentions plans of killing themselves like he has to you, for me that's an automatic call to 911. I'm not playing. That is beyond "let's chat and I'm hold your hand and listen, hon". Thats serious business. I think too you need to consider why you chose this, you knew this person was not in a stable point in his life when you got together (living in his car!) yet you dived in anyways. Why? Is it because you are living at home and are scared if you date someone who is standing on their own feet they will expect that of you too? Time to get real with yourself here too.

She posted anon because she felt silly asking it! Lol. I was thinking of this skit today. How many people are over thinking "don't stare directly at the sun" today? STARE DIRECTLY AT THE SUN !! 😆

It's a very strange situation to put yourself in. I'm going to guess there's no common law where you are living?