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maew

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maew last won the day on November 27 2019

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  1. Agree… mind you I’m a lot older and have been married once already… I have friends that have been in my life for decades, and if they wanted to take me on a girls trip on my birthday I would absolutely go and make alternative plans with my partner to celebrate at a different time… he knows this about me and not only accepts it but would help them plan it. 4 months is hardly any time in the scheme of things… that’s 16 weekends… try not to put so much pressure on the relationship, enjoy the process of dating and live your own life. Alternatively, if you are this unhappy after only 4 months, it’s probably a sign that she is not the one for you.
  2. My chiro will often ask me to try movements out in her office, sometimes on the floor, but she always demonstrates them herself first and then provides me with a mat to do the movement on. That she didn’t demonstrate the movement or give you a mat is concerning… I like my medical professionals to have attention to detail!
  3. If you have to point out the fact that you are a supportive, caring and generous friend… and/or regularly point out things that you don’t like and bother you… why are you continuing to invest your time into them? I have a dear friend who would constantly vent about one of her long time friends. Knowing that sometimes we all need to vent about the people we love, I just listened… however after hearing her vent off and on for a few years about it, I finally asked “Why do you want a relationship with her if all you are going to do is complain about how she treats you?”. She paused, and said “you have a point. either I need to stop complaining about her or I need to re-evaluate the friendship.” Since that time, she changed her expectations of her friend and the friendship changed with it… she doesn’t expect her friend to be someone she isn’t, and also decided to move their friendship from the inner to the outer circle. Sometimes we out grow our friends, or they go through stuff and aren’t capable of being the friend we expect them to be… then we decide if the friendship is worth investing in at which point we need to either accept them for who they are or let them go. For what it’s worth, it sounds like you really love your friend Kelly, and perhaps with her impending baby (pregnancy brain is a thing!) and her mom having passed, she is experiencing a whole tornado of emotions that make it difficult to stay focused and make decisions. At the end of the day… if you want the friendship, only give what you are willing to give without expectation of anything in return. This will help you not have a resentment and enjoy the process more.
  4. This right here. I would also add… your reaction is VERY strong given the situation… do you think you may have been triggered by what he did because it reminded you of a past experience?
  5. I’ve been a member since 2017, I originally found this site because I was searching for advice on how to date (such a nerd haha) and came across this forum; I ended up joining it because I was enjoying my interactions and wanted to be part of! I used to post a lot, like daily, but I haven’t been very active for the last few years… life just took over I guess! As for what I do… I work in IT as a people manager, and I am also a certified professional coach.
  6. Oh jeez OP I feel this in my soul…. the beautiful thing about being human is that we have free will… the challenge is that we need to accept the consequences that go with our choices, good bad or indifferent. The consequences you are experiencing are the result of your choice to stay in a relationship that is one sided. Believe me I get it… have done it multiple times.. and been in a world of hurt and confusion as a result. Let’s put it this way… in my experience, if the guy really wants to be with you, you will never be confused or wonder where you stand or have to beg him to spend time with you, he will make it very clear by his words and his actions that he wants you in his life.
  7. To answer your original question OP… I was 47 when I started dating my now fiancé… I got tested after my separation (just in case) and between all of my sexual partners, casual or otherwise. When my fiancé and l first met we had the protection/testing convos… we also talked about what we liked and the kinks we were comfortable with… turns out we are very compatible in that area.. and TBH as others have said, if we weren’t we probably wouldn’t have stayed together as our sex life is important to both of us… life is too short to compromise on important values, especially since I had already done so on my previous marriage! PS. We do often have to lube up, even though he works very hard to take care of my needs first, it’s just the nature of the beast with mature vajayjays… and as others have said if he is right for you he will WANT to have those conversations with you 🙂
  8. It's so crazy out there... we are fully stocked for food etc, however had to pick something up on Sunday from the store... the energy and anxiety levels were absolutely through the roof, we got what we wanted and skated out of there as fast as we could. I work for a large global tech firm and all offices across Canada have been closed... they disabled our badges so we couldn't go in even if we wanted to.. but they did prepare us ahead of time that it could happen, and we are very very fortunate that we are well set up to work from home to keep business moving. That said... all of the 12 step meetings I go to on a regular basis have been temporarily closed, and while I do have access to online technology it's going to be a tough go without that human connection. Just taking it one day at a time and staying closely connected with the rest of my group. My bf decided he wanted to stay at my place for the next little while... we've been together for a bit over a year and normally we don't stay together every night, usually just a few nights a week... but neither of us wants to stay alone right now... I guess this will be good practice for living together some day. I don't know if any of you are near where I live but since I am working from home, I am offering to help friends/family with picking up or dropping off things they need so please feel free to reach out if you need anything.
  9. Contradictory as it may seem... to re-invent and re-think you must first take time to re-flect on who you want to become. What kind of colleague/dad/friend/sibling/son/partner do you want to be? This means slowing down, allowing yourself time to experience your feelings and to process everything that happened. This may also mean seeing a therapist, life coach, someone that can help you figure out how to become the person you want to be. To do this successfully you need to do this on your own without the distraction of another relationship. For now, focus on having a civil co-parenting relationship with your ex... this will be enough work in and of itself.
  10. I love all of those Friends clips, the one with Rachel's sister is one of my favorites! I've seen each episode probably 10 times, so good. The last thing that made me laugh really hard was some ridiculous conversation I was having with my BF a couple of days ago that sent me into fits of laughter... literally so much that my stomach was hurting and I was shedding tears just like the laughing tears emoji lol I wish I could remember what it was about but alas peri-menopause has stolen my short term memory! The other thing that makes me laugh on the regular is the show "8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown"... They have the comedian Sean Lock as a regular and his performance on that show absolutely kills me!
  11. I don’t understand why you didn’t want to work on the relationship. And I don’t understand why, after having a 15 year marriage, when the breakup was YOUR idea, you barely acknowledge I exist after 3.5 years of being apart. I would have liked to develop some sort of cordial friendship for the sake of our kids... not like actual friends but an open line of communication when it comes to our children... instead, you cut me out in every possible way, make decisions to share information with them without talking to me first, including telling our oldest that it was because of her that we had struggles in our relationship. I don’t understand why you aren’t happy for me in my new relationship while you have had 3 since we split up. I have chosen to practice grace and dignity through this and walk through my feelings with my friends instead of having pointless conflict with you but I want you to know my heart is still broken as a result of our break up and while I never want to get back together, I suppose I had a faint hope that we could at least get along... which is probably more about my codependency than it is about you but anyways. Deep down inside I wish you had at least once acknowledged the harm you caused in our relationship and that it wasn’t all my fault... I have come to accept for the most part that I will never get that amends... and am working on forgiving you and myself for what happened in our marriage. That’s what is in my heart and while I have no desire to actually be that vulnerable with him as he would not treat my heart with care, it’s those sorts of feelings I am still letting go of.
  12. People that complain without moving towards a solution no matter how much airtime you give them. 🤦🏻♀️[emoji849]
  13. This is what I wanted to send my ex this morn after having a dream about him last night: "I miss you so much... was thinking of you all day yesterday... I love you... my soul cries out for you... I am so angry and hurt that you didn't fight for me, that you took advantage of me, that you didn't want me enough, weren't into me. I hate you. I hope you hurt as much as I do right now, I hope you realize what you are missing out on. You missed your chance with me, forever... F&%* YOU"
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