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Rdunsany

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  1. My apologies, I was under the impression that this would be a supportive forum open to discussion. Instead, this first reply is quite passive aggressive and is making judgements without adequate information. The only thing I can guess, since I've provided no information here either way, that this judgement is based on gender? Since it seems relevant: I've spent the entirety of the relationship all-in prioritizing her needs. I go to her house 90%+ of the time so she can have the environment she wants to do school and work. I regularly take half days off of my own work to get my house in order so I can be there for our time together without my own stuff interfering. I bring all the groceries, make all the meals, do all the dishes. I bring books to entertain myself when she's doing school work. I give her backrubs and coffee when she's working. I make her a cocktail when she's relaxing. I do *all* of this while also making decisions that are best for me and my family because, to me, these are not mutually exclusive things.
  2. My GF and I have been together for about 3 years. We started dating just prior to the pandemic and so our time, for awhile there, was relatively flexible. We're both single parents, so it was limited to the 50% of the time we didn't have our kids (and then some time with, after they all met), but it was pretty easy for both of us to prioritize our time together. Then my girlfriend went back to school and she got a new job that takes up more time and involves her travelling once a month. Between these two things, it's definitely changed our time together. My girlfriend is also someone who always need to excel, be it in school, work, or being a parent. And she does! She's great at all of these things. What this means is that our relationship has taken a definite back seat. When ticking off her priority list the other day, she said: work, school, family. There was no 4th spot for "relationship" and I feel that's accurate. Whenever I am scheduling dr appointments or things like that, I always look at the calendar and schedule them for when it will not interrupt our time together. It's not hard, after all, that's 50% of the time. She doesn't do that and often our time is cut short because of some appointment. We live about an hour away from each other right now and, with kids and schools, that's unlikely to change anytime soon. We have plans to move in together once our youngest kids move out, but that's a good number of years from now and, honestly, I'm starting to doubt how well that'll work. I mean, by that point, we'll have been dating but living separately for almost 10 years. That's a long time to be able to successfully maneuver such a big change as living together. So I guess my question is: am I being unreasonable to ask a working parent, who is also going to school, to be able to prioritize our relationship with all of that?
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