mack1490

It's been almost four months since I told you goodbye and blocked your number after you told me you weren't sure you wanted to be with me, and I still find myself thinking about you every day, even though you put me through so much pain. I still get tempted to unblock your number and contact you, but thankfully I've been able to resist the temptations. I will admit, I do sometimes get angry inside at the pain you put me through, but you need to know how deeply I cared about you and wanted to make it work between us; you even said yourself that you "never met anyone nicer or more caring", which tells me that you left me because I was too nice for you. Even though I am angry at you for hurting me the way you did, I have a kinder heart, and I wish you the best. Where I stand currently, I cannot have contact with you, and if my mindset right now is how it's going to be in the future, I will probably make no attempts to ever contact you again. I did block your number, only because I did not want to keep your number unblocked and know every day you didn't contact me, that you didn't try contacting me, if that makes sense at all. Every day I wonder if you ever will contact me; sometimes I check my mail wondering if I'll see a letter from you, or unlock my phone and wonder if I'll see a text message or missed call from you, even when I get a call at work saying I have a phone call, but nothing comes around. Since you left me, I have felt lost, lonely, disengaged, and depressed; every day wondering if I'll ever move on and find somebody new. I have not been on any dates since I was with you, only because I am still healing from losing you; to this day I still wonder why you left me, I wonder every day exactly what were you thinking when you wanted to leave me, I wish I could spend one minute in your head to understand why, especially given everything we did together. There is a huge part of me that wishes we could go back to how we were when we first started dating, but I am slowly accepting the fact that it's no more, and I can't hang on to false hope. I did not mean to get mad at you when you left me, you just need to understand how hurt I was after you left me, and how much I cared about you. I looked at the messages between your mother and mine, and my mother was in no way rude or vile to your mother like you claimed that she was. My family loved you and cared for you too, and when they see me hurt like you hurt me, it's a given that they're going to get upset. Even though you're out of my life, I still wish the best for you, but you most likely will never hear from me again. Where it stands currently, if I were to ever run into you, I'd probably go the other direction, but at the same time if you ever were to contact me, I wouldn't respond with hostility, only because I have a good heart, but at the same time, I have to protect my well-being. Staying hung up on you was affecting my quality of life, therefore I couldn't hang on.