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nman414

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  1. I know writing about it won't change anything, however I want to type this out just to vent a bit and figure out how Im feeling. After our first "date" she texted me telling me how she had a great time and would be interested in doing it again. I thought I was doing everything right, I opened doors for her, paid for meals, didn't rush into anything. Date two was at my apartment, I made dinner and had some sides prepared. She ate the whole plate and we played some corn hole in the courtyard. We then went to grab ice cream and just sat, talked, and ate for an hourish. I also thought this date went very well. after dropping her off, she said shed text me. That night, she texted thanking me for a great night and praised how good the dinner was. I responded the same and started asking if she would be free to hang out again at some point this week. She never responded until last night Where she said that she's had a great time hanging out with me but just doesn't want to get into anything new because she's busy with school and work but that shed love to stay friends because she enjoys hanging out with me. This is all completely valid, she has the right to her own opinions and to make her own decisions so I said that I totally get it and for her to text me if she ever wants to hangout. There are a few things that just don't really add up that are making me hurt a little though. First, she said she's busy with school and work, why would she agree to hangout in the first place? Second, last night I decided to re download a dating app just to get my mind off of things, and one of the first people I see is her, so apparently she is looking for something? Finally, I understand that there is the completely real option that she's just not interested in me and is just letting me down nicely. Im just confused on that as well. She always seemed very enthusiastic and flirty in her texts and when I picked her up for dinner, she was taking shots with her roommates and her roommate told me she was super nervous. I doubt this is the case, but my roommate is convinced its because I didn't try to make any moves on her. I understand that Its time for me to just let things go and move on, but having these unanswered questions is just leading me to be stuck in my thoughts when I need to focus on classes.
  2. wow, not necessarily the responses I was expecting. Not sure if things just go differently or if I am just around "bad people" but these days, sex is a common thing on the first date for college age kids. I thought I was being conservative by not trying to make any sort of move on the first date. To all saying I am being too aggressive, I would much rather play it safe and really get to know her and take things slowly, but unfortunately, in past relationships I have been ridiculed by friends and the exes for going too slow. I like the idea of going for a walk, but unfortunately were having dinner and it'll be dark and a bit chilly. I think Ill probably suggest maybe heading to the store to grab ice cream or heading to an ice cream shop. Im essentially just looking for a filler activity. I want to spend time with this girl and continue hanging out like we did on our first date, but I feel like if I don't have a set activity to do after we finish dinner, we'll just kinda end up awkwardly sitting there on the couch in my common room of my apartment with my housemates going in and out past us.
  3. Hi all, So I came on here last week to see how I should ask out a girl that Ive been acquainted with since childhood but never really knew. I ended up texting her and asking if she would be interested in getting some smoothie bowls and eating them on the beach while we caught up. She accepted and it went super well, we sat and talked on the beach for 2ish hours before I dropped her off. I think Ive made it clear that Im into her and she has dropped signs that she is into me as well(sitting very close, lots of exclamation points and smiley faces in text.) I just don't want to take things too fast and have her get scared. So after our first "date" she texted and said how she had a great time, I invited her over to my apartment for dinner on Friday and she said yes. With it being a college apartment, there is only a couch and a kitchen in the common area, no where really to eat so I was planning on just cooking the food and eating out in the courtyard. So that part of the date is fine, Im just wondering how I should proceed from here. I would love to show her my room and maybe lay in bed and cuddle/watch some Netflix with her, if she took things farther I wouldn't oppose, I don't really plan on initiating anything just yet though. So my question is, should I just ask if she wants to head to my room? Are there any good ways/questions to ask in order to test the waters and kinda see what she views me as? anyway to end up in my room without scaring her into thinking I'm pressuring her for sex?
  4. Lol I am definitely an over thinker. Ive already thought of all possible outcomes both good and bad. I am happy to report that I decided to text her this morning. I invited her to catch up over a smoothie bowl by the beach on Sunday. She seemed super excited and we'll be meeting up this weekend. Thanks for the encouragement everyone.
  5. Aha no I not from stalking, just saw from her posts that she was going to school in the area. Not really interested in just the sex aspect, there are plenty of girls on campus that could fulfill that need. based off social media posts (also not stalking, just noticed what she posts over time) it seems like both of us are looking more for a long term relationship. It is also not the girl from my past relationship. I decided to allow her to heal on her own and if she initiates contact then so be it. been testing the water on the dating apps for quite some time with no luck. not many people looking for serious relationships. Ill take your advice and see if she wants to grab coffee or something and go from there.
  6. I recently transferred to a state school near the beach. I really miss being in a relationship and would love to have someone close especially because I don't have many friends at the moment. I just found out a week or so ago that a girl from my hometown is living just about a block away from me. She goes to a different school about 15 minutes away however lives with another girl from my hometown In a house about 2 minutes from my apartment. We've gone to school together since pre K and have always been acquaintances. Ive always thought that she is a very pretty girl but we have never really talked much and nothing has ever happened. I have seen her on dating apps on and off for the past few months and whenever I do, I can't stop thinking about her for the next few days. then the feeling fades and the cycle repeats. I just recently saw her pop up again and this time I think I might make a move. I already have her snapchat so I was thinking of just messaging her there. how would you guys go about messaging her out of the blue to see if she wanted to grab food or something? A few concerns that have always held me back though, first, I worry about how she fades from my thoughts. Is it normal to have this happen? I don't want to get into a relationship and then have my feelings fade. This kinda brings me into my second point. Around high school graduation, her boyfriend, who I am also acquainted with, broke up with her. Judging from her social media (twitter retweets and likes) it really messed her up. She still likes tweets about relationship stuff to this day. I would feel so bad if I were to hurt her, especially because all our hometown friends would know. I have a feeling people will raise the argument that there are plenty of girls and that I shouldn't settle for a hometown girl. Although that is true, there are plenty of beautiful women that I see on campus, I just don't know how many of them are fit for me. I am more of a night in, non partier. and as a student at a large state school, most girls here are only interested in getting drunk and hooking up. This girl on the other hand is different from the rest. I have also been searching dating apps and meeting people in classes for 2ish years in this city with no luck and I am starting to feel desperate. So my question is, should I wait it out and keep hoping for the right girl to magically appear into my life, or should I reach out to this girl and try to start something with her, and if so, how should I go about doing it? Thanks
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