Batya33

No worries! It could be among certain top universities especially like MIT and CalTech. As you can see on the news a number of universities are now facing much bigger issues unfortunately. Very tense around here!

That's not the case -to the extent you describe - and I know many professors. That likely is specific to the field of study and the school -for example I would imagine what you wrote is more true of schools like MIT and Caltech, etc. But your friend sounds interesting with interesting work!

Kim I wanted to tell you this story - I was a 20 something intern at a huge company. Early 90s There were about 20 of us -same age-ish. One of them massively flirted with me and was very very handsome. And even a little younger than me. I was totally single. It was obvious to everyone he was flirting. So one day I asked him if he wanted to go for lunch during the workday -just to the pizza place down the block. He said yes. And - once outside the office -he was - stiff/awkward -and then mentioned his girlfriend at lunch. I never described it as a date and I didn't make a fool out of myself -but there you go -who the heck knows what the deal with him was -I was just glad I found out before I felt embarrassed.

How close are you with your childhood friend? Who is paying for the prom? If he still wants to go -go and go and have fun and have no expectations beyond a fun and memorable night.

I can totally see that -since I was born into this environment and always lived this way I actually don't like when it's too quiet and I'm good at navigating around huge crowds of people. As I get older I'm more sensitive to loud/sudden noises especially in our apartment -my teenager, etc. And all of a sudden I noticed -in a negative way -all the crowds when I was pushing a stroller in my 40s!

OP I don’t think he’s interested in dating you or having a personal relationship outside the office. But I think he likes being work friends and making new work friends.

Oh that sounds lovely ! We live in the middle of a bustling active neighborhood in a major city . I’ve never lived for more than a few months at a time in any different environment. And only a few times.

I think it’s GREAT that you followed up with the comment you did about the nearby bar. Whatever the outcome. Good for you.

With rare exception I don’t think sexual touching to initiate sex is appropriate when the person is sleeping.

I've did the same when I moved 9 miles from my parents home into the major heart of the city instead of in a borough and was totally worth it -same reasons. And we now live with our son in a 2 bedroom/2 bath instead of a large house for very similar reasons. I'm glad you made that choice! The gorgeous park down the block which is a lot like Central Park in NYC is the backyard we share with thousands and we too are in the middle of a restaurant and shopping and arts and culture area -all within walking distance like yours. Enjoy!

She wrote later on that she told him in advance not to do that.

That's not at all what I meant by it. I mean if a committed couple is sharing a bed and they typically get sexual when sharing a bed then a person who doesn't wish to should probably let his or her partner know that there's a change in their routine. Obviously if the person touches the other person in a sexual way and the other person says - not tonight darling -that's NO. I don't think there's a problem with one person touching another in bed if their routine is to get affectionate in bed. I don't ask my husband permission before I kiss him goodnight. I agree totally with what you wrote. Now the OP says she told him in advance clearly what her boundaries were which he violated. I feel badly for her.

He shouldn't be all out groping when you're asleep. A hug or a gentle touch on the shoulder or face - I mean sure that can happen accidentally too like footsies lol. But he acted in a very aggressive and offensive way IMO. I'm so sorry!

OK thanks for the information!

I didn't see where she asked him and she physically turned away - but if she asked him yes of course.