Flipper15

I just drove for a 9 hour round trip just to have one conversation with you 😢 And you didn't show. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I cried most of the drive back. 4 years I feel now like we're a waste for someone who totally swept me off my feet such a kind gentle soul who had a conscious, whose now turned into some "lad" player to fit in with your new career. I'm devastated. I've known you for 4 years and it was always you who was the sensitive one. You've know your new workmates 6 months proberly along with girls your online dating gives you 😢 I thought I honestly meant more than that and considering the drive I did to show you could trust what I say I'm devastated. You have had full control for a while now. I should not have listened to you when you broke down crying in June, nor July. Because since then you've turned it on its head, broken me, lost our home, nearly lost me my job and all because your doing so well in your career with your new life. I helped you get there and look what you've done to me. I want to hate you, but I can't 😢

I miss you so much We were so close to one another, we had a special bond, we were each other's Little Rock's which you put in a card. We have the same interests, backgrounds, morals and so on. I trusted you with all my breaking heart which considering my past is a big thing. We have had so many laughs, jokes, fun times, many many memories we both said are the best memories we've had. We've also had challenges we battled through together. Some that would have broken us years ago. But then at Easter in my grief it became too much. I lost two important people in my life, then I lost you. I didn't realise you were suffeifnf so much between the family and I the rift there was. I should have let down my guard but the hurt me and every time we sorted it, you sister would say something to make me feel anxious again. I hate not being liked but I felt in a sense bullied. I didn't know how much it effected you as you didn't communicate to me. If you did we wouldn't be where we are now. I've had my faults and apologised, worked on myself, seemed counciling for the grief. But still Theban best girl you met seems to be a distant memory. I am still me, I'm back to my self easy going, realisable, trustworthy, honest, caring, funny. I'm still the girl you said you hit cloud 9 with. If only you could see. You said you wouldn't see me again, now you say you might do. I just wish you would let me in break down the barriers I was so proud of you when you landed your dream career. But I feel I made my bed in supporting you in it. I tried to do as any good partner would do, support your application, re teach you maths, helped you went you felt anxious you wouldn't get in. Now I feel your in and I was a stepping stone. You failed some exams because of the break up, I get that. But I'm not a bad apple and it shouldn't have been a choice because all I've done is support you. I know the job makes you proud, your family proud and even me even though you don't like me you will love to a new area soon, a new adventure start the career properly, I know how that feels. But I also know that adventure starts exciting then once in the routine you miss home and wish you'd miss me You were the man of my dreams. But I feel cast aside like other girls even though I've meant the most. I thought you would fight for me. It seems it was a choice between me and your family, but no one made you chose or even asked you too. You were a sensitive emotional soul who was always there for others, but with me now you couldn't care. You've shut down and closed off. Still email but that's slack compared to hks we were and how you wanted this to be. Even after the split you said we'd been through too much to drift apart and not know each other. It was too much to throw away. But within months you go online dafing like the lads in your class who are much younger than you. Like I meant nothing. I love you, I really do. I'd do anything to change this if I was only given a chance and was important enough ;-( xxx