Rob1000

I remember you from my break up in 2009, Dave, and I had to read your post. Great to see you and have a happy Christmas!

My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago. She broke up with me saying she wasn't ready to give me a full commitment any more and that with so much change in her life, she wanted to do some growing up. I went NC straight away until early this month when my dog got very sick and I text her to tell her about it. We exchanged some lovely messages and 3 days later I asked if she wanted to chat on the phone. She was really happy to hear from me. We chatted for about 2 hours. It was nice catching up but I felt way too needy and weak while we were talking and catching up. I did my best to hide it though. She's made some big changes in her life and I could feel how confident and in control she was. Still, I asked if she fancied meeting up sometime and she instantly agreed, but asked if I meant as just friends. I said I had enough friends and that I knew how I felt about her and wanted to try again - to just go on a date and see. She didn't seem too off-put by my intentions - she even mentioned spending New Year's together - but did say that she still wanted her freedom and hinted that I wasn't going to get that full-on commitment she believed I was seeking. In the end, we kept it simple. She was going to be in town that weekend and suggested we could meet for coffee before she got her train home. I agreed. We ended the call late in to the night, calling each other by our old pet names, but something inside me didn't feel good. It didn't feel like I had been talking to the old her, and that I was too vulnerable and emotional to go ahead with it. And my instincts were screaming at me not to meet her. I spent the entire next day feeling that I couldn't go through with our meeting. I felt that if I saw her I wouldn't be my old self, that she would see right through me and that our short date would be the absolute end of us. The day she was due in town, she text me with her train schedule but I said I wanted to leave it and not meet. When she asked why I said I just wasn't feeling the love any more and felt from our conversation that she needed to be by herself and that we were some time off giving us another go. She didn't reply until later that night when she asked if "its still a no for tomorrow?" I said I had other plans and to text me over Christmas and we'll do something. She didn't reply. And I don't think I'm going to hear from her now. While part of me regrets the chance to meet her and possibly start dating again, I still think I did the right thing because I wasn't ready to meet her and chance messing it up once and for all. While I still think we have a chance in the future, I believe that the best chance is when there's been adequate time between us and we come back together as equals, rather than me feeling like a needy simp and chasing her, which would only end with her dumping me again. The only problem now is, its Christmas and I can't stop thinking about her and hoping I'll hear from her. Ugggggghhh!!

Does anyone else experience that while trying to recover and move on? This morning I was feeling really good, with great clarity over my situation but then a little while ago I got so overwhelmed with every emotion - from sadness to overwhelming grief and crying - that I could barely function. I hope the waves of grief mean I'm accepting and letting go, which will help me get over her and move on.

I was recovering from heart break number 2 back then. I remember my now-ex telling me that my then-ex didn't deserve me, after the way I had been treated. Practise what you preach, biatch!!!

DAY 97! In three days it'll be 100 days since I send her a birthday card! The last time I contacted her.

I know you hate me. I didn't want the ring issue to push us even further apart but it obviously has and I guess that's understandable, but I hate that we can't even be civil to one another after everything we have been through. I do believe you.

I know exactly how you feel. I don't want my ex back. I don't feel the same way about her any more. But I'd love to talk to her and see her. Crazy eh!?

Day 23. Found out (pretty sure anyway) that she's with someone else. It has definitely helped me cut the last chord and head out on the final road to recovery!

Day 17.. up and down!

Day 16. She broke it. Probably Day 30 something for me. Been 7 months now. I still miss her. It really sucks!!

Time, time, time. That's all I need!

Day 8. Prolly the hardest day so far. I hate Saturday nights in by myself.

It's this simple folks. Sending a birthday greeting to an ex is not going to have any bearing on whether you ever get back together with them. If they ever wanted to come back, a birthday text or no birthday text will not have been a decisive factor. In my opinion, no good will come from wishing them a happy birthday.

Day 7. It's getting better, man!

I got back together with my ex about 3 years ago. My posts about it should still be on here.