lettingo2017

It's been a month and a half since I broke up with you. I know it was the right thing to do. You were abusive, cruel and I'm sure you were deceiving me and were lying to me. It hurts me to think about that. I loved you so much. I had to set boundaries because no matter how much I love you, I cannot allow you to take me for granted. You knew I loved you and that I gave you my heart. Yet you mistreated me. I still miss you. I miss the good things about what we had. They became fewer and fewer through time. The relationship was destroyed. As much as I miss you, I know it's right to keep going. I know it's normal to miss something that was bad for me. I need to keep going ahead, looking forward and not looking back. You were toxic. You hurt me knowingly and without any regard for my heart. If I told you this, you would mock it and find a way to suit you instead of appreciating. You are not a good person and you don't deserve my vulnerability. Men like you are like the pigs and the wolves. You devour the kind hearted and eat us a live. You will not hear from me. You don't deserve me.

I'm dying to contact him. Ugh!

I wish things would have been different. I wanted to be the woman in your life that would always be by your side. Supporting you and being there for you. I wanted to love you with all my heart. Yet you rejected my love for you. You treated it as if it had no value at all. I know my heart and the love I offer to give is worth so much and it comes from such a genuine place in my heart. It's too bad that because of your own issues you aren't able to accept it. I know the worth of it and I know that even though you did not value it or wan it it doesn't mean my love is worthless. I take back what I offered. I take it all back with dignity. It hurts deeply, but I cannot settle. I will give all of my self, all of the wonderful things about me that I can offer to someone who will appreciate it. I refuse to give it to someone who is never satisfied and who doesn't know what he wants. No matter how hard it is to accept that you're not the one, i would rather be alone the rest of my life than to be undermined, mistreated, and talked down to. You aren't well. I have nothing to do with that. We are in different places. We just aren't meant to be and I'm over trying to make it happen. I don't understand how we got so meshed that it's tough to separate my self from you. You are you I am me. Two different seperate people. I am no one to try to change you, fix you, make you do things or be things you aren't ready to be or do. You are free, free to love who you want to love, welcome in your life who you want. For whatever reason having me in your life is too much for you. I respect and honor your decision to let go of my love for you. To not fight for it, or desire it. You have that right. My love is a precious gift. I take it back, and will save it for the one that was meant to have it. Thank you for the opportunity to be a part of your life.