This is the most frustrating feeling i have ever had. I questioned soulmates and thought they 'might' exist but now that I have found mine it is very depressing. she is taken. i am taken. i am willing to leave my relationship and she is 'sometimes'. my relationship is 5years and counting and hers is 9years. she has invested more than i have and is now feeling that she has 'responsibilities' that she cannot walk away from (financial etc).
background: we were friends and we discovered a huge connection/bond between us. more than just passion, this energy consumes us. mind reading, powerful energy exchange... i can feel here as i sit here and type this, we are always connected. we do not see each other -now, we are forbidden because we attempted to pursue this connection while still friends, so we just exchange letters and tele calls but our love grows more each day. it is so strong. we have tried to stop talking because it is 'wrong' since we are in relationships, but it never happens. our girlfriends do not know we are talking to each other.
i am writing now for advice because i feel helpless. should we push each other away and hope we find each other someday or should we try to be 'friends' and deny our hearts? we are not in a postion to be friends we are 'forbidden' by our gfs. we have tried to get into fights and hate each other, it didn't work. we have tried to create distance and not talk, it didn't work. we are using each other for support while we complain about our relationships and it is taking a toll on the both of us. we want to be with the other so badly, but our confusion is so heavy we feel we cannot make level headed decisions right now.
i honestly don't know what we will do if we don't pursue this...we will both be empty for eternity. i never thought i would feel something so powerful, i didn't know it really existed and now i can't let it go. we both spend much time during the week crying and frustrated and feeling so desperate.. it is ripping us to pieces.
this has been going on for about a year now, between us. we are both in our mid 20's and have never felt this before.
my relationship is and her relationship with our gf's are very similar yet very different. hers has reached a height of abuse and it is drawing her in. her self esteem has been crushed and her perception is severed. she needs help that i cannot provide so that she can leave her relationship for 'her'. what do i do? we must leave our relationships for 'ourselves' then for each other..not vice versa. we are trying to do what is best and what will provide us with the strongest and healthiest future together, but i am afraid we will never have a future if she cannot leave her relationship.
thank you
regan
