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Viewcart

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  • Birthday 12/31/1993

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  1. I’ll try what you suggested which will hopefully prevent any defensive reactions from him. These friends have been in his life for a long time, I don’t remember if I met them before we were married. We definitely didn’t spend that much time together with any of his friends until after marriage because he says he wants his friends to be my friends too. We shall see what happens after I try batya’s suggestion. I think most people show different faces to different people in their life. He’s just comfortable with me and unfortunately his negative traits magnified after marriage.
  2. That's an encouraging comment she made 🙂 I will make small talk with them, one-on-one. They're very kind people, but when they talk over each other in a group setting, I find myself shutting up to give space for them to talk. Usually it results in my husband talking for both of us. He did start a conversation about this but it just lead to him demanding an apology from me. I can be stubborn and told him absolutely not, I am in no fault. We both have our faults when it comes to communication, he's more of an intimidator and I can be avoidant. He's more quiet around my friends but when he's bored or tired, I respect him when he says we need to go so we will go immediately. But when I ask to go, he takes his time maybe because he has a hard time breaking away from his chatty friends.
  3. I'm happy to hear that you made a new friend! I can make friends fairly easily, although I find it takes more effort from both parties to maintain a friendship. Like you, I enjoy meaningful conversations where people listen and reciprocate. Unfortunately, most of his friends are those that you mentioned who talk incessantly, interrupt each other, and then when others are talking, they look at their phones or change the topic immediately. I will sit patiently and listen to this for a maximum of a couple of hours. My husband does that too, he's eloquent and interesting, but he isn't always the best listener so I guess he tolerates people like this better than I can. People who talk over others are probably just seeking attention. I do my best to love them but I also think it's healthy to build some boundaries by telling them that it's time to stop to leave when the conversation gets nowhere. Unfortunately, my husband enables his yappy friends.
  4. Awesome site, thanks! new guy Long distance ex reached out to me a few times, asked a couple times since if i'd like to meet again. But by then I moved on and didn't even bother to respond to him and blocked him. I was young and heart broken when I posted on this forum, hindsight 20/20 he wasn't the one.
  5. I will stay home next time thanks That's literally how long his chatty friends can talk for, I'm not kidding. It's not even a special event. Some people just love to talk! I mean I can talk to my friends for hours too, but when I've had enough, we end the conversation and catch up later, not dragging things on. But when I'm around his friends I have little to no control of how long he wants to stay chatting it up.
  6. No, he doesn't drink. Yes I didn't think I was being impolite because I told him once but he kept talking to his friends for another 15-30 minutes so I got more impatient and told him we need to go another time. He said that his friend was making funny faces at me or something so he got upset with me for being disrespectful. I will definitely take your advice from now on, I don't want to argue and he still brings it up about how upset it made him every now and then.
  7. Perhaps this is more of a social etiquette question… I love my husband’s gift and ability to start and sustain a conversation with just about anyone. He will listen to others and doesn’t talk too much when he’s alone with me. BUT when he’s in social settings with random people or friends who talk A LOT, to the point where there’s not even a second of silence as everyone is jumping from one topic to another. After more than 5 to 8 hours of being present at this kind of social function, I start to get very exhausted listening and eventually become annoyed. I can’t excuse myself because that’s just socially awkward since it’s an intimate setting. I can’t leave since my husband and I drive one car when we go out together. Eventually I nudge my husband telling him or using body language that we should leave. Unfortunately even though he knows I’m getting tired, he still continues the conversation for hour(s) more. When I confront this issue with him afterwards at home, he says I’m being selfish, socially awkward, and that I’m rude for saying we need to go in front of friends. He says he will decide when we leave and I need to deal with it and be sweet in front of others. What could I do in this situation in the future?
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