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Babe210

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  1. Thank you for your advice! You’re right! We had all these plans for our future friends , it was all exciting. Seeing it come to such a terrible end sucks. But I know I can still have this future with the friends that I still have and that still support me and stay in my life. She is the type of person to badmouth someone after a friendship ends , she will lie and add in details that never happened, these are things I saw throughout our friendship but to me I figured she’s my friend , she loves me she will never do the same. So it happening was shocking but I should have known. I am really working on putting her on my rear view, even though this might sound petty I have erased all pictures of her on my phone , blocked her on social media and her phone number. I cannot wait until this moment in my life is over and I’m past this.
  2. @Cherylyn reading through your experiences with your sister reminds me of some of what I went through as well that I chose to ignore. It must be so hard for you to deal with this as its family. Just like you I plan to have healthy distractions. My therapist said something so simple to me that I never really thought of she said “you’re a 25 yr old single woman , with a work from anywhere job , you should be travelling and exploring the world” and even though this is something so simple and often talked about I just didn’t think of it , but now I am distracting myself with the planning of my upcoming travels , I will be going back to visit my home country and will be around good friends and family. Another thing she also mentioned is to focus on the love and support you have around you . This ex friend of mine when I met her I ignored so many red flags. She never had any genuine friendships , she also never had any close female friends , like zero , the ones she had they always had a falling out , I chose not to judge her because of this and befriended her , only to learn now why she doesn’t have any genuine friendships. I am so thankful to be surrounded by loving people around me , beautiful friendships that have lasted for year and years and they are all fully supporting me on this and it has really helped me overcome blaming myself. I was so hurt when I initially wrote my post , I am not all fixed yet but I am getting there , baby steps. And I love your thoughts about my move , it has changed my perspective “out of sight , out of mind” I will always think back to that whenever I am sad about the moving process. Hearing someone else have a somewhat similar experience makes me feel less alone. Thank you for telling me your story , I hope you focus on healthy distractions too and keep toxic people out of your life.
  3. I am really struggling moving forward from a friendship breakup . Recently one of my really close friends really hurt me . Long story short she ended up siding with a man that she has been with for less than a year. She accused me of doing something with her husband when in real sense it was him who was coming onto me , I even recorded a voice memo of him trying to come onto me . And me denying him . But I never had the chance to show her this because he went and told her a completely different story and she believed him. at the end of it all I atleast never expected to receive personal attacks from her . She has gone ahead and used some of the things I told her throughout our friendship, thing I confided in her about my family , she used it all to say terrible things. And it’s just been really hurtful to see , it has me thinking whether this person was truly my friend . She even claims that people had warned her about me and she didn’t listen. I am just so saddened by this , at the end of it all she decided to come to my apartment and basically beat me up , I ended up calling the police and she was arrested. It’s just been a tough situation to deal with as this is someone I saw growing old and raising our children together. One thing that’s really hurtful too is some friends that I thought were my friends went ahead and removed me off of social media which I’m assuming is them picking a side . And that even hurt me more , at the very least I was expecting the mutual friend to not pick sides but seeing this is making things very tough , I am having to move out of my apartment as it’s in same building that she stays with him and I don’t want to have to run into them in the hallway or elevators. It just feels unfair that I am the one that has to leave and uproot my life but I have to do it for my safety reasons . How does one even move on from a situation like this ?
  4. I didn’t know her that well , I knew her from a friend of a friend , and we did not get close at first . But I started getting close to her when she visited my other friend and that was when she had talked about coming back to visit the current state I’m in and because she didn’t seem bad, she was actually nice . I was ok with her staying at my place when she visited . And before allowing her to stay at my place no I hadn’t spent any personal time like one on one. She just seemed ok and regardless of not knowing her that well I saw the chance to get to know her and form a friendship by agreeing for her to stay over as she explored the state Im in.
  5. Thank you for your reply! And this is what makes me sad , regardless of anything I just didn’t expect her to call me a ***ty friend , and twist things around. I would have been totally ok with her ending the friendship and just leaving me alone , this is my first time facing a friendship that has ended in such a terrible way , but I am really trying to view it as a good loss
  6. Thank you for your reply! I am trying hard to see it as a good thing but I’m also sad because I thought I was good friend to her I’m not saying I perfect or didn’t make mistakes I did but I didn’t know at the end of it all I would just be told I’m the fake friend.
  7. Today I lost a friendship and a part of me feels like it’s for the best but a part of me is also sad about it. I met this particular friend last year , and early on in the friendship she did something wrong to me but I ended up just forgiving her for it and we moved forward. Early on in the friendship she had talked about moving to a different state , so she wanted to come and see the state I’m in to stay for a couple weeks and see if she would like it . I invited her over to my place since I liked who she was and didn’t think it would be an issue. The first week everything was fine , we got along well and a friendship was forming . There was a guy she liked here , so she asked if the guy could come over and I was ok with it . The guy came over and we all were chilling and talking . I got tired and went to bed and left them alone. The next morning she proceeds to tell me that they had done some things , and I didn’t think much of it I ignored it . A couple weeks go by she invites the guy over again, and this time she doesn’t let me know she just alerts me about it a couple minutes before the guy get here , so I was a little upset because I was just planning to chill so I had a talk with her and told her that next time she plans to invite other guests it would be good if she let me know and she apologized and we got over it . The guy came over and again we were all chilling and talking , and I got tired and proceeded to go to bed . As I was getting ready for bed I hear noises , and come to realize it was them having sex on my couch . I was upset about it because I don’t know this guy and I just thought it was rude and a little disrespectful to get intimate in a living room where you are a guest. I did not go out and confront them because I was shocked but I went ahead and messaged a close friend of mine about the situation , because I didn’t know what to do at that moment. I ended up falling asleep and the next day had a talk with her about the whole situation. Again she apologized and I was trying to be ok with it and just move on from the situation. The other day I happened to make a joke about the whole situation and she got really offended. And while talking I mentioned that I talked the situation out with a different friend. She got really upset and started to say I am talking about her private business to others and I am ***ty friend for doing that. I kept explaining that the situation directly involved me as she had gotten intimate at my apartment and I had a right to consult a friend on the matter . But she kept on saying I am not a friend that can be trusted and I talk about her to others. After that a day passed and she came and got her things from my place and brought me my things . She later sends me a long message saying I am such a terrible person. I am saddened by the end of this friendship because I thought we would have been long term friends
  8. @DancingFool this is wonderful advice! I just downloaded meetup and will be looking more into it! I have been thinking of stepping away from dating for the longest time and after what happened , I think I will
  9. In the past 4-5 years I have been on and off in a relationship with a man , when we first met I was 19 he was 27. I was in this relationship with this man but there was manipulation, lying but I was too naive to see it. Recently we broke up for good and I moved to a completely different state. I started talking to another guy and he started out really strong from the beginning. It kind of freaked me out , he asked me to be his girlfriend the second week we met but I said no because I hadn’t known him that well yet. We went out on a couple dates, he cooked dinner from time to time. It was all going well , he was willing to move mountains to do what I request . It was all going too fast for me so I asked him to slow down , as he was calling me babe already , he bought tickets to a couples event even before we had gone on an actual date. It was all too fast. I asked him to slow down. I was new to the city so it felt good to be around someone who already knew the city . He was at my place almost everyday , recently as he was leaving I just asked if he could go out with the trash bag by the door as he was heading downstairs to his car. He started to complain and I asked why he was complaining and he raised his voice stating that it’s my apartment and I need to learn to take out my own trash( not that I have never taken out my trash before) I was taken back and just surprised by the raising of his voice . I then just said it was fine I would take the trash out myself. I later messaged him stating how him raising his voice made me feel , he switched the whole thing and said I was overreacting and that all he said was no , but I could have sworn he raised his voice at me over a simple request . He made it seem like he never raised his voice at all He replied to my message being a complete *** and stating that he wants nothing else to do with me . He removed me off of social media and even blocked my number . Im just confused how someone can go from being obsessed with you to removing you from all social media and blocking your number . How do I stop attracting men like this
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