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raindrop96

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  1. I don't know how long it has been since starting NC, a bit more than a month, I think. Yesterday was a terrible day, I cried for most of it and missed him and barely could hold myself from texting him. Instead I reached out to a friend of his and asked about whether I should and she said that it's not a confusing situation for him like it is for me and we are broken up and that's it for now. So I decided to not message him or get in touch. I want to try again, but one month down the line is probably too soon. My dad said something very true, 'You are 10 000 km from him in distance and 1,5 years in time, you have to get yourself together and get over this, you can't spend a year and a half like this.' it sucks to hear, but it also helps. Plus everyoje who's had a successful reconciliation says that the breakup was long, so maybe this is something I have to suffer through. I am doing my best, it still sucks, but at least I will keep trying. Hopefully it gets better soon, it's already been a bit more than a month since the breakup and it's not getting much better.
  2. Day 21/25 Nothing new to say. I think about him often, dream about what it's going to be, worrying we won't be together ever again even if it was just circumstances that split us up, andddd just overall stressing I'll miss my shot, but oh well... Hopefully life will be good again soon.
  3. Day 19/23 I still think of him and I still have moments when I want to message him and tell him about something, but it's not as overwhelming as it used to be. I hope time will do its thing faster now. I still have hope for the future, but today was the first day I really actually thought that maybe we won't get back together, and it stung, but I think I'll be alright whatever happens... Have a good day, everyone, be strong.
  4. Day 12/16. Yesterday I cried again, it's too early in the morning now to tell how today will be, hopefully not too bad. I wrote another letter you won't read, hoping that you would, but knowing I'd never send it. I barely stopped myself from messaging you yesterday. I miss your beautiful face. I wish it was a year and a half into the future and we got our fairytale or we were over it.
  5. Day 10/14. It was a sad day today. I think about him a lot still. Hopefully there is more in store for us and it's revealed in the next couple of months. I am excited about growing and improving myself, but I would like to have him by my side after that happens. Good luck, everyone!
  6. Day 9/13 Second day that I haven't cried so far, almost did, but held it together. It's getting easier faster than I expected, I do miss him so much, but I can laugh and forget about it for a bit, which is nice. I can't imagine us not being together again, so I think that's why it's becoming easier. I'm bracing myself with patience to wait out the being abroad. I am trying to have faith in this and it's not too bad
  7. Day 8/12 It's just before noon so I'm not sure how this day will pan out. Mornings are still the saddest part. I can hardly stop myself from crying. If I have something to do, it generally can distract me, but I still find myself thinking about what could happen in the future way too often, and getting sad about it not being the future yet so that I know what's going on and I could move on if there's nothing for us left. I started a book to help me cope with the sadness and I've been trying to keep more positive and trying to have good thoughts, but it's hard. Hopefully no crying today, it's time that I stop, but I don't know yet. Have a good day, May10 and PCNetwork!
  8. Day 7/ day 11 I was having a good day, didn't cry in the morning or anything, I was busy packing, but in the afternoon I had another breakdown. People keep saying I have to move on and if fate decides, we will be together again, or I will be with someone else, or I will be alone and happy. I want to forget him, but also not forget him, I'm afraid he will forget me too and he won't reach out ever again. I'm afraid this was our only shot and we just got 6 months of bliss and that's all... I don't know how to move on, guys. Is it going to stop hurting? Will I stop loving him, or will I just push it to the back of my mind and forever hope something will happen between us again? If I speak to him in 2 months, do we even have a chance? Should I even try, considering he broke up with me because of the distance and the distance won't be gone then yet... I hate this.
  9. It will definitely get easier with time... Sadly we can't really do anything but wait. Our biggest source of comfort is sadly the source of this discomfort right now, and we have to let it go... And let time do its trick. Friends do try to help but yeah... My friends didn't even know him because I study abroad so there wasn't a way for them to meet, so they keep blaming him so much and making him into the devil and it makes me really sad... I hope you get your answers, stay strong and hopefully NC. Day 6/day 10. Mornings are the worst. I wake up and try to stay asleep, because when I'm in that state, I can imagine the time after 4 months or even after a year and a half when things will have magically improved, and it seems soon, like not much time at all. I see our first time seeing each other and him staring at me, unable to do anything else, I hear our witty conversations, him admitting he was a fool, him fighting for me.. I don't know if it's unhealthy, but when you're half asleep, it seems like the time will pass much faster and it will suddenly be time to come back here and the opportunity will be there for the taking... Much like when you're sleeping, time will go fast.. But once awake, it seems so daunting. I can't see myself forgetting how amazing he was... I can't imagine anyone topping that and I don't want to, I just want him back... Today is going to be a struggle.
  10. I think it has something to do with how many posts I've got, cuz they are not many, so maybe later we'd be able to message Day 5 of me not reaching out, day 9 of not actually hearing from him. It was an okay day today, cried a bit, but mostly it was okay because the weather was really nice. I really want to work on myself and let him go. They say 'if you love them, let them go. If they come back, they're yours forever.' Hopefully that's the truth in my case as well. Really trying to let him go, set him and myself free, wish him all the best healthwise and happiness wise. Hopefully it works out for the best. I think we both should really try to focus on ourselves and not when we are going to be able to break NC. As in I know right now this is the end goal for both of us, but maybe we should not think about it and let it go, and see how long we can go without doing it. I've read on here people actually recommend at least 2 months before contact so that you can be composed and also not as in love as before and more able to think straight. Let's see. I am glad there is a person here as well who knows what it's like, May10. all the best to you! I hope it starts getting easier with time.
  11. Not exactly a success story, but a getting back together story nevertheless. I was with my first boyfriend for about a year and a half and we broke up, it was messy, I begged him to stay, I didn't want to break up at all, even though it was a toxic relationship, but being my first I didn't realise. One month goes by, I'm feeling so much better, not really wanting to be back with him, we haven't spoken in 3 weeks, we meet at a friend's birthday party. My ex messages me the next day saying how he wants to talk, I agree, we meet up and he's begging me to be with him and how he's seen the error of his ways and he made a huge mistake in dumping me. I believe him, we get back together, I feel in control and not as in love as I was before, little did I know it wouldn't last long. Fast forward some more time, nothing's actually changed, relationship is still as toxic as it was before, no one has changed at all, and now we are doing LDR as well. I broke up with him, cut off contact after about a month, took 2 months to heal, never looked back afterwards. They do come back, in my experience when you've healed and when you least need them to.
  12. Hey, May, I can't send you a private message, so I just wanted to say that you should probably just speak to him calmly and tell him you guys need to stop talking for a while and see how you feel after that period. You need to give yourself some time to think about things, especially because he broke up with you without giving you a reason after 2 years. That's not exactly justified. Just my two cents on the topic. Day 3 of challenge, day 4 since I sent him a letter that I got no reply to, day 8 without messaging/texting/talking/emailing. So I'm not sure which day of NC this is exactly. Anyway, still crying once or twice a day, still missing him, but I think I'm slowly realising for the time being we can't be together and that I need to piece myself together and have a good summer... Hopefully in a few months I will have healed and he will have realised we let go of something that was working perfectly, and we would be on our way to getting back together. I'm trying not to hold on to this hope, since we said we would maybe try if the circumstances are right after I come back from Spain, which is in a year and a half, and that's so far in the future, I'd like to know faster than that if we have a future together or not... So in 4 months I'll reach out if he hasn't yet.
  13. Fingers crossed for you as well, we seem to be in the same boat (if not the same, at least quite similar). Day 2 of NC, but I checked his profile on Facebook to see his face. Looking at him doesn't make me very sad, but thinking about what we had is what really breaks me. I am having lots of doubts about whether or not our love will make it through (we dated for 6 months, were friends before, now we have to be apart for either 4 months or 1,5 years) and whether there is hope for us on the other side. I know that I won't forget him and for both of us it was terrible breaking up, but it was the lesser of two evils, so... Hopefully NC will clear out our heads and I'm hoping afterwards we will be able to talk and maybe even pick up where we left off with less expectations, less stress and more of what made us great for each other.
  14. I think I will try this as well, wish me luck It's day 7 after the break up, day 2 since I sent him a goodbye letter, and day 6 since we haven't actually spoken. And day 1 of the challenge. I am hoping for reconciliation in a few months, because our break up was due to circumstance, not because we were fighting or didn't love each other anymore. Hopefully the circumstances will be right soon.
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