Starlight925

The first season I watched was Trista & Ryan, so I've had these rose-colored glasses on ever since. Trista faced a ton of early internet snark during her season. She was a Miami Heat (basketball team) dancer, and all the buzz was that she was only doing this for fame. She kept saying that all she really wanted was to be a wife and a soccer mom. In the end, she chose the humblest of all guys, Firefighter Ryan, had 2 kids, and has stuck by him through his terrible illness of several years. So I keep waiting for that next magical season, but it's been so few & far between. I had high hopes for this one, him being a widower, this "great guy" who lost his great love. Turns out, he was a liar, a cheat, and simply not a nice guy.

At the heart of this, Alex, is an unhealthy relationship with your mother. This isn't about ingredients, or baking, or slaving. It's about your mother only dripping out affection to you as she sees fit, and because you can never get quite the amount of love, respect, or caring from her that you truly desire, it feels as though the attention she gives to this girlfriend is love that you are supposed to get. I get it, I promise. I had a very difficult relationship with my own mother, who couldn't be bothered to attend my college graduation. But when my sister barely graduated from high school (she had to check the day of graduation to make sure she was on the list), my mother scrambled us all, making us wait until the last minute, then driving like mad to support her as she graduated last in her class, only because the teachers were tired of her. The only way through this is, and I believe it's been said 10,000 times on your pages: Change the dynamic with your mother. Move her to the periphery of your life. Cut the time of your calls in half; cut the number of calls to half. The visits. Cut them all down to where it's maybe 20% of what it was, and don't even say anything to her about it. Just be "so so busy" that sorry mom, gotta go. I'm telling you, that's the only way I got through my life with my mom (now deceased). I got it down to one Sunday call per week, one hour. She'd go on and on, and at the 1 hour mark (yes, I checked the time), I'd have X, Y, or Z that I had to get to. Love you so much mom! Miss you so much!! Can't wait to see you at Thanksgiving! Bye for today!

There are actually 24 couples still together from The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. Re: Dating locally with better results? Two shows have tried and failed miserably: Love is Blind and Married At First Sight. Both of these shows are filmed in a certain city, so all people are from that city. Heck, on this recent season of Married At First Sight (Denver, CO), 4 of the 5 couples lived together for 8 weeks but never consummated. Regarding the 24 couples still together from The Bachelor franchise: It sounds good until you analyze it. 24 years....YEARS of this show, as the first one was 2000, and many offshoots of the franchise (Bachelor Pad, Bachelor in Paradise, people from one season getting together with someone from another).... So yeah, going on TV to meet your soulmate is a distant possibility.

The comment to his girlfriend about the weight has been repeated many times, and he has never disputed it. He is a broke janitor who put himself out as a “restaurateur”. Truth is, he owned a local fast food hamburger place, but went out of business and took odd jobs, which is where he met this woman. While he was married. She has texts to prove it all. Nothing wrong with being a maintenance person, it’s the lying. Teresa, his Golden Bachelor wife, has done very well and still works in finance. It’s long been theorized that her money was his reason for picking her. I believe she did fall in love, but it was only after the wedding that all the truths about him came out. He love bombed her and got her down the aisle lightning fast, before she had time to blink.

Color me surprised….not. When all of the truths about “good guy Gerry” started coming out, I gave this a short time. Gerry is a liar, a cheat, and just not a nice guy. He broke up with a woman just prior to the show, telling her she was too fat to attend his high school reunion, as she had gained 10 lbs. This was the woman he cheated on his wife before she passed, the same wife he cried over on the show to melt America’s hearts.

I always make separate batches of everything, including duplicate items, for my SIL, who is gluten free (celiac disease). I'll buy separate ingredients, use separate dishes, separate mixing spoons, separate plates, because I don't want her to have to miss out. Never once have I considered it "slaving". Nor have I cared if she ate it in front of me. Never even noticed. What I did notice is that she always thanks me. I've missed out on a lot of martyrdom. I'm starting today, seems like fun.

Agree completely with @catfeeder. Your sister will dig her heels in further, the more you speak up. She sees you as this person who sits on a high horse as a judge, even though that’s not your intention. Shift your focus to be her friend. Her equal. She’s an adult, so treat her as such, like a new friend. It’s so hard to watch those we love making horrible decisions, but sometimes we have to choose between being right or having them in our lives.

Backhanded comments like this are awful, especially when they come from someone you really like, and whom you’ve always reached out to and been a supporter of. My guess is, you are not the only one to whom she does this, even though it seems like it is. Because for people like this, it makes them feel better to do these small put-downs to people who will not speak back to them, such as yourself. I am sorry that you have to deal with this, although I agree with all the other advice here to step back and distance yourself from her. If you are so inclined, continue to send small gifts to her child for birthdays and holidays, as it is not the child’s fault. I had to do this with my own sister, where we didn’t speak for almost a year, but I continue to reach out to her children as they had nothing to do with their mother’s insensitivities.

I've done OLD since before Jurassic era. Today, it's swipe, exchange a couple of messages, meet. I like today much better actually. Add to Cart, receive product in an hour, return and receive refund before you're even home lol.

Long ago and far away, when OLD was new, then yes, speaking before meeting was a must for me. I've long learned that in-person chemistry can not be felt through the phone. For me, a quick meet at an outdoor cafe is perfect.

Awesome update! The only odd thing is, if I were her, I'd have pulled out my phone and deleted my profile right in front of you, after you had that discussion. I'd want there to be no questions. None of this "is it hidden or deleted" stuff, none of this "if I find it's still up I'm outta here" stuff. I've been in a relationship where that stuff got really muddy, so I'd expect it to be deleted by this morning. But I'm obviously not privy to your entire conversation, so for now, I'll wish you both the very best and hope to hear more great news from you!

I think it all sounds positive & playful! With my last BF, I kept wondering when he'd make the "big move". About 2 months in, I made the move, and he happily went along with it. Afterwards (and I mean, right after), he said he had been waiting for me to make the move because he knew that when I did, it would be because I was truly comfortable. Keep us posted, sounds like you like her! And she obviously likes you, because pretty girls don't hang around guys they don't like!

Sorry, I still think the term is stupid. As is “I feel some type of way” and “I’m in my head”. Overused silliness. Rant about that over. And I think the OP in this case is using “Sex Positive” to indicate how “cool” she is with this jerk’s escapades, trying to make excuses for it. Hey man, it’s all cool. 2 will be aborted, and he’ll have minimal involvement in the one born. I’m all Sex Positive, cool bro.

OK, I have to say this first: I think the term "Sex Positive" is about the stupidest thing I hear these days. What does that even mean??? So your married boyfriend impregnated 3 women in the span of a few weeks, and you want to know what we think. He's monogamous until he's polyamorous. This doesn't even make sense. He's married. Right now. Feel better about yourself, and learn that you deserve more. Instead, you give us a list of 25 justifications for his actions. There's only 1 thing you need on the list: Your own self esteem.

Alex, this is your problem right here ^^. You live for your family, particularly for your mother's approval. So when your mother shows compassion for someone else, you feel it takes away the "specialness" of her love for you. This is not the case. It sounds like your mother is working hard to include her. If you would open your heart to include her too, you would be much happier. We have told you in hundreds of pages now, that you need to develop and live your own life, detach from your enmeshment with your mother. It's been said on this very thread. Do it.