D1mps

Why? If you ever find conscience, or wonder how we ended up here, just remind yourself of how you chose lies over truth. Deceit over honesty. Be honest about your disrespect for a woman who was healing and yet you still proceeded to bluff and manipulate. Know that the fault, came the moment poison fell from your lips and fingertips. And isn't it sad that in the end, the only thing that was unequivocally serious and real about us, were your lies. And what of promises? Those cozy knitted words you'd weave and dress me in, that looked so pretty and gave such warmth. Nothing more than a fake future of glittering words it seems. I ask, How could I ever be comfortable, bound in such itchy knit? You planted the seed, but didn't nourish the sapling. No flower, nor tree could ever flourish with rotted root. Sadly, this loving garden was no more than a notion that even God's could not manifest. So If you ever find yourself blaming me, or being angry. If you hate me for being smart enough to see through lies, or sleuthing after uncovering such acts of cruelty and being curious to really see the extent of it all… See none of this was my fault. Understand why I did not want to succumb to less than that of which I was initially sold. Remember my emotions were all born of your horrible choices. I was true. I was authentic. I fought for you. I never flaked, never lied, never concealed... And I never pulled anyone down because I felt insecure, incomplete, or less of a human being. You on the other hand… Lies hurt people. Lies hurt friendships and lies defiantly, rot this flower from seed to petal. I am hurting. I miss you still. Held by the Trauma bond you've made in me. Well, God bless therapy! The only redemption now, is telling me the truth.

EasyJets crawled across the sky into the west wind. I read "In loving memory of." and "What will survive of us is love." "Love is eternal, here rests for a time." Perhaps the dead lie happily in the well tended plots, or perhaps they'd prefer the forgotten overgrown corners. Perhaps they prefer their names obliterated by time and the weather. Perhaps not. There was only the sound of the strong west wind in that place, and I wasn't there for very long when I thought that I should leave... When I'm at the pearly gates This will be on my videotape, my videotape...

Stick a fork in me... I've tried. I'll just lose myself in my own private hell..

I found out who the real face belongs to from your "younger self pictures". Along with all the other sh*tty lies. And in those moments, I found the real you! You're either a very troubled man, or a very insecure one who needed to lie and manipulate, after I gave you several chances to come clean for what I sensed to be true all along. You never had the decency to confess. Don't You See it was that knowing that caused all the friction here? It all could have been resolved. But I was just your stupid fantasy and nothing more and you've proven this by ghosting me after all of your promises and stories of how people are so important to your life... I want to blow your world apart for putting me through this. I have enough evidence here to legally file a case of grooming! But I won't, yet I sure would like an apology and explanation! You knew I was healing from the past and you still deceived me and broke what I had just fixed! You were my friend. Right or wrong, I deserved more than this. I'm here, calm, waiting for an explanation...

Ghosting sucks! I sympathise completely as it's just happened to me too. Hang in there and stay strong! As insurmountable as it may seem right now, do try to find your own closure, so that you may move on peacefully. I'm so sorry you and so many more of us, are having to endure this despicable deed.

Well, TARARA-boom-de-ay... Now it all makes sense. I know everything and got my peace of mind for exactly what I suspected. Grams and intuition never do me wrong!

Please talk to me. We got caught up in a mass of misunderstanding, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be discussed and settled when we both had a cooler head. You know how it feels to be ghosted, so why did you do it to me? Wasn't our friendship worth more than this? It took every last shred of me to let you get close, to open myself to a man again and tell someone how I struggled. I was honest! Every step and it took so much courage and bravery to be close to you... I may not have always chosen the right way to express myself, maybe out of fear of being perceived as needy... Something that was drilled into me previously. I just wanted you to take responsibility for the fact I was hurt by some of the things you said. Some, were even lies. Nevertheless, I want to talk it out, without frustration getting in the way on both sides. M. asks where you are. Why you disappeared and why my smile went with you. Surely this action to cut me off can be resolved? Surely this is Too harsh a punishment for mere misunderstandings? With cool rational head and knowing how sensitive and passionate we are, I know a calm conversation will put all of this right... I miss you terribly. Everything I had just pieced back together, is shattered again. I don't deserve to be ghosted like this. You know me! I was so honest and let you cradle me in my fears. Surely I deserve to be heard? Because I'm not an uphill struggle, I'm not doubting I'm good enough for you. I just needed to see you are real. You promised you wouldn't do this, hurt me or ghost and you promised you wouldn't leave. You know how that very thing, scared me. Yes! It was a hard moment to cross, but aside from this bad patch, what we had was nothing less than beautiful... Don't lose sight of that! Please. We are not about this. I trusted that YOU, are not about this. Please don't prove me wrong. Talk to me. I'm so confused by this action... I'm a mess and I miss you.

Please, leave me to live. To do this without you, was your choice. So, lay in the bed you made, because I won't ever come back. More life lessons lie ahead for me, I'm sure of that... Some of us are just magnets for crooked souls.

Let me go!

I appreciate the mail, however I confess I didn't read it... I know you didn't want my wounds to heal, but I'm wrapped tightly in the bandages of those closest to me and you'll never penetrate through, so don't even try...

Pearl Jam - "Come Back" If I keep holding out,... will the light shine through? Under this broken roof,... it's only rain that I feel I've been wishing out the days,... come back I have been planning out,... all that I'd say to you Since you slipped away,... know that I still remain true I've been wishing out the days,... Please say, that if you hadn't of gone now I wouldn't have lost you another way From wherever you are,... come back And these days, they linger on And in the night, as I'm waiting on The real possibility I may meet you in my dream I go to sleep If I don't fall apart,.... will the memories stay clear? So you had to go,..... and I had to remain here But the strangest thing to date So far away And yet you feel so close And I'm not gonna question it any other way There must be an open door For you to Come back And the days, they linger on And every night, what I'm waiting for Is the real possibility I may meet you in my dream And sometimes you're there And you're talking back to me Come the morning I could swear you're next to me And it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'll be here Come back Come back

The Blowers Daughter by Lamontagne is pretty sad too I feel.

Murderer of Blue Skies by Chris Cornell, as it dictates my ex relationship And Pearl Jam's "Black" to name a couple. Love music too and have a catalogue of heartbreakers memorised.

Women may come easy because you are pleasing on the eye, but your soul is the ugliest thing I ever did see. Trust me, it repulsed me. Stop leaving a trail of the broken behind you. I wish for your wellness, but more so, I pray for the victims that your empty soul continues to devour. Evil cannot digest love, evil can only expel love and let it rot like waste. You wont win! You'll never own this mind, or love again.

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