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thelogride

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  1. I’m finally making plans again rather than keep to myself. Going out golfing with my friends tomorrow so that should be nice. Im also in the works of purchasing a house so that’s really been distracting me. Lots to be thankful for in life and shouldn’t let one simple woman let me forget that
  2. After being away from here for a couple of days, I seem to be struggling more today than I have been in the last 2 days. I’m still doing better than I was 2 weeks ago, but am still finding myself thinking of this girl. Why do I care to know what she’s doing? It has no impact on my life and I know this, yet I’m driven to know by checking her socials. Makes me feel like a lunatic. It’s officially now been longer not talking to her than the entire time where we were talking, if that says anything about how easily I got attached. We’re still friends on everything but haven’t spoken since Sunday, which I guess is great on my part. I was honestly expecting her to reach out even though she has no real reason to, but I’m sure that’s my “hopeful instinct” still thinking. I keep telling myself I need to be with someone who WANTS to be with me and it’ll make life so much easier instead of chasing someone who doesn’t. I also have been asking myself this… if this woman was to come around and reach out and say she’s had a change heart and wants to get to know me better, would I take her up on the offer. I like to think I would say no, but I know right now I would say yes. That’s not the right way to think by thinking she would ever come around, because she won’t. But it’s just a thought that I had earlier. I know she’s been extra keeping to herself this week but obviously I don’t know why. I’m sure she has her own things going on and her life isn’t all perfect like I think it is in my mind. We all have our own battles to fight daily. I just wish I could forget about her and move forward 😞 I truly mean that.
  3. Thank you for the confirmation, I needed this support with your comment. The absolute last thing I want to do is to be her bff and hear her talk about guys she likes or is dating or going to date. Absolutely no chance, I would be full of resent if I allowed that to happen. I do want her to be happy, I really do because I care about her. I think she’s a great woman. But I can’t be a mental punching bag in that sense where I know darn well she would take advantage of that probably to boost her ego. That being talking to me about other guys.. no thank you. I’m sure she’s doing just fine and has others to talk too as well. I’m sure she isn’t feeling the same things that I’m feeling about her so she’s already in a better position than I am. I’m sure she’s doing just fine.
  4. I do have one thing that for some reason is just really weighing on me, and I can’t explain why. I know I already mentioned this, but I’m feeling realllly guilty and like a horrible person for not wanting to be her “friend”. I have no problem with being on good terms and say hi if I bumped into her at the store, but I can’t be her best friend and talk to her everyday like we were. Am I wrong for this?? I sure feel guilty.. and I don’t know why.
  5. I’ll also add that this girl is very much too herself and has a small friend group and has probably some of the best morals that you could ever want in a girl. That’s what I see though, so it’s obviously from my perspective. I think she’s a real catch just based on those qualities. But, even with those qualities, that doesn’t make it a match. I’m sure there’s thousands of girls out there who match the exact same qualities I just mentioned. I also know that I’m not the only one struggling with this too.. I know she is as well and also with her past relationship too, probably struggling more so with that. One of the last things she said to me was “do you think I haven’t been/am at war in my own mind with everything too?” I know she’s struggling as well trying to find herself and her path. We both are at different points in our lives where I’m looking for my forever person and she has no idea what she wants because she’s still recovering from her breakup. With saying all of that, I do think and know she’s been thinking a lot about things and I’m sure I weigh on her mind too from time to time. Probably not like she weighs on my mind, but I’m sure it’s still there. I know I need to remove her from my thoughts and move forward even though right now that’s difficult because I was so in love with the idea of what could’ve been.
  6. I understand and agree with you completely. Everything you said is true and accurate. I did over complicate things by only looking at bits and pieces that I wanted to look at and hold onto the hope. Now, I honestly did want to be her friend because I really do like this girl and care for her, much like she cares for me. After thinking about it though and continuing to talk to her, I had a change of mind and did what’s best for me by saying I don’t think I can be friends in the capacity that we are now. I would simply be devastated talking to her daily and see her with another man. It’s nothing against her, but I’m saving myself from the inevitable hurt. I think I have the right to change my mind too, no? She was straight forward from the beginning and still gave me an opportunity with time to think about things and see what happened. That’s totally fair and she doesn’t owe me anything. Just like how I changed my mind about being close friends, she could very well change her mind too with my absence now and say hey, maybe he IS the guy I need. My point being is we both can change our minds, and being her close friend is definitely not in my best interest. I’m looking out for myself. I told her I couldn’t be friendzoned because of this reason, and she didn’t like that at all. But, I can’t be her “best friend” and continue talking to her daily. I’m not in the right state of mind to do that as much as I love talking to her.
  7. So usually I’m the one who’s hesitant to get into a relationship. My very first girlfriend basically did all the work to get me to date her because I had no interest. She really showed me she was interested and I said why not. Almost every girl I talk to I’m very hesitant, but once I commit I’m all in. It’s like I have no in between, I’m either not interested or you’re the woman of my life that I’ve been waiting for. It’s not right I know, but seems to be how I think and feel. I would love nothing more than for someone to want me as much as I want them, and I somehow convince myself that the girls who show obvious red flags are the ones worth having. I’m ass backwards with that I know, and I don’t know why I continue to put myself in painful situations when I darn well know what the outcome is going to be. Like when my first gf cheated on me, I stayed with her. Why would I do that??? I think I was so used to her and I couldn’t imagine life without her. That’s not the way to think because it’s almost as if I put all of my eggs in one basket.
  8. I do think past relationships have really had a bad impact on me. I’ve had two serious girlfriends and they both ended in disaster. One of them (my first one) was constantly cheating on me and made me fee responsible for that. That really made me feel like I wasn’t enough and destroyed my self-esteem. The second one was just so strange.. we were dating yet she hardly ever wanted to see me. She would always make excuses and we would hang out maybe once every couple of weeks. That relationship blew up too because I was wanting more. This is all my experience with having an actual girlfriend, and they both were horrible experiences.
  9. Great perspective. I’d much prefer the latter as opposed to being chained to a phone wondering wth is actually going on and hoping it can turn to something legitimate. Can I ask you something.. you say she isn’t right for me. What makes you say that? Because she was the one who turned me down so would I not be right for her? Granted, she gave me NOTHING that’s even somewhat compelling and attractive other than being flirty and chatty. I have no reason to even feel this way about her, I shouldn’t even give her a second thought in all honesty.
  10. Yeah the woman 12 hours away was just stupid on my part. I don’t even know what I was doing and thankfully now I don’t care about that anymore lol. Yes, the current girl I’m stuck on did decline a date right away yet still would want to talk all day and be flirty. While she did say she wasn’t looking for a relationship at this time, she was very flirty and mentioned “we’ll see what the future holds”. That’s truly what fueled my hope in all honesty. I know what it’s like fresh off a breakup and honestly thought she just needed time. And honestly, who knows what the future holds. I may never speak to her again or she may emerge from the shadows and come out of nowhere. More than likely she will not want to try things, but you get my point. It would feel good to find someone who’s genuinely interested and WANTS to go on a date and wants to be with me. That would be wonderful. I don’t know why I’m so caught up on someone that I can’t have who doesn’t reflect the above.. I just hate thinking that she’s probably out on a date right now with someone and I wasn’t good enough to take to her on a date. I hope that last sentence makes sense, it honestly makes me feel demoralized. I am in my feels tonight so sorry for the negativity, but I know I’m getting better. Thank the Lord we weren’t actually dating and went on multiple dates etc, because I would be distraught.
  11. No games, the right woman. I think I need to give myself more credit and have some esteem as well and tell myself that if they aren’t straightforward or want to play games then I deserve better. My self esteem is very low.
  12. I think that’s great advice.. thank you so much. I know I put a lot of thought into digital communication, and clearly I do get a false sense of connection and security as we have just seen. Sometimes the term “playing hard to get” or “good things don’t come easy” come into my mind and make me think it’s worth pursuing someone who’s not immediately interested. I think I need to lose those sayings from my vocabulary.
  13. This just proves to show that absolutely anything can happen, and you’re right it does take thick skin to date and I’ll be the first to say I don’t have that thick of skin lol. I wear my heart on my sleeve and it’s not intentional, just part of who I am but I know there’s efforts I can make to get thicker skin. here’s what I do know, and something I’ve always told myself and live by (even tho right now I’m not necessarily living by it): it’ll happen when you least expect it. I know you can’t force it and I know that’s basically what I’ve been doing here by hoping and trying to “convince” this girl that we do click. I know it doesn’t work that way. I could go to the gas station right now and bump into someone as the fuel pump and that could be all there is to it.. nothing forced. I could get in fender bender with a lady and we hit it off. That’s unlikely, but you get my point. I know that if I put myself first, and focus on bettering myself, then the woman will come when I least expect it. I need to do better.
  14. I like to think I’m wonderful 😉 I definitely know I have a big heart and wear it on my sleeve. I know whoever I end up with I’ll treat with unconditional love. If it’s meant to be it’ll be with anyone out there.
  15. That’s fair, and I guess that proves not everyone is for everybody no matter how you put it.
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