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Danie0930

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  1. We have been dating for a year and a half and she is in her early twenties. Not a long distance relationship but we live an hour an a half apart. I do see how she takes me for granted but I just don't know what to do. I don't want to have the same conversation for the 6th time now. Honestly she wasn't like this at the beginning regardless if she had friends but now it's a bit too much. She told me not to think of what she said about wanting to be selfish because she was just lost in thought but clearly it doesn't seem that way even now. So at the moment I decided to just take a step back and stop trying.
  2. My gf and I have been together for over a year. I met her parents and they love me especially her mom. We work and we go to school but lately we have been having talks (not arguments) about priority. So recently we had the same talk for the 5th time but this time i was fed up. I don’t mind her having friends and hanging out with them male/female/bi i don’t care but don’t tell me you’re too busy for anything but with her friends it’s always a green light. I mean she sees them at school, after school/work, goes out with them/male friend, watches movies with him, and all I ask is to take her out once. I even switched my work schedule because she suggested we spend a day together every week. So I’m off Saturdays but she’s made plans with her friends every Saturday as well so what relationship am I in? I’m tired of hearing and getting texts saying I love you but there is no effort being made and yet I’m suppose to do so much to make this work. I buy groceries for her apartment, I cook, I bring home food, I travel to go see her (only me she doesn’t), massages, I take care of her when she’s sick and when not sick and I try and do surprises because I love her so why not. It feels like I don’t exist until she wants me to come over. So during our latest TALK i asked her does she want to be in this because clearly she doesn’t seem like she wants to and she says she does but she wants to be selfish. She says she can see us moving in together, getting married, having children but on the other hand she wants to be selfish. That she feels like she can’t make mistakes and I told her she seems like she doesn’t know what she wants, that she broke up with me before over the same issue and that I’m not going to be here if you need to leave just to figure out later that you want to be with me. I said “ look if you don’t put any effort then eventually I will do the same and if this dies then it dies. She kept saying baby I love you while on top of me and i said “you get distant every so often and I keep asking you do you want space because I don’t mind.” she replies with do you think that will work and if she does come back will I trust her. And i told her things might be worst, better or stay the same but I know my worth and I know my own value so if you want to be out there then be out and I’ll take my leave. After I said that she switched immediately saying everything in her body is saying she wants to put in the effort and that she loves me. So fast forward now we are in the same situation and honestly I just stop texting or calling. She texts me in the morning saying she loves me and sorry that we are both busy but later texts me saying shes heading to a concert with a male friend. My favorite is “Im sorry babe I promised my friend I would watch a movie with him tonight. I love you and hope you have a wonderful night.” So I just stopped initiating texts and phone calls. I do love her very much but I know what I deserve and if I fall out of love then so be it. Just don’t know if this is the right way to go about it.
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