Casual

I don't even really know what happened between us - its that confusing. Sometimes I think I have it figured out, other times I think I have gotten over it completely, but now I am alone and sad, and missing the security of something that I thought would be forever. The best thing, the absolutely best thing though, is that I know that this breakup is a gift for me, to heal myself and to grow as a person. Do you ever think that? No, I imagine you think that you dodged a bullet, that I was awful and that you are happier now that you don't have to wind up with a mistake. Well I was awful sometimes. But you couldn't handle the ways in which I was awful, because you've got issues too. I bet you think you don't. But you you do. But you don't even see it. You can't stand to think someone is criticising you. Because you criticise yourself, always. You can't stand to think you're a failure. Because you do, you think you fail at everything. You can't stand to think you are incompentent. But you do think that, you think it always. I know you're own mind is also a little private hell. I am sorry I contributed to that, there is no way out of that. You don't love yourself and i know that now. I don't either. Im doing something about it though. What are you doing? I dunno, but I am moving the f on.